Day One Hundred Five:
We should have left well enough alone. I don’t know what we expected to find. Surely if they had found a cure they would have shared it with others instead of locking it in a room on an island guarded by a juvenille. Maybe we expected to find some way of communicating with others, or a map where the government had created a quarantine zone safe from the sickness.
Instead we found death.
Death stacked on top of death stacked on top of death.
We stopped Josh before he could see all of it, but he still saw some. Some of the worst. The first room we opened were the children. All left to rot, most likely drugged. We should have known. The smell was there but, they had been in there so long it wasn’t enough to stop us. Because honestly at this point, we were all just used to that smell and didn’t even think anything of it.
But sure enough, after the children we found several rooms full of high ranking officers and their wives or in some cases, alone. The ones with the women took the clean way out, the ones by themselves opted for a messy end. Whatever we hoped for, we should have expected this. But we didn’t/
Hope blinded us. Made us think that this isolated island was only the icing on the cake and we were about to find the mother load. Instead, we found an endless well of depression. If morale wasn’t already low, we just kicked it off a cliff and set it on fire.
I always try to find the plus side to situations like this but this time, there is none. Sorry world.
FUCK!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Day One Hundred Four:
Day One Hundred Four:
Turns out that if you mix Etch a Sketch with Burnt Steel Wool in the correct ratio you get Thermite. Now, in case you don’t know what Thermite is since I didn’t know what it was, Thermite is basically what you would get if you mixed an actual dragon’s breath, with the surface of the sun, with an active volcano, with the center of the Earth with… you get the idea.
For some reason Thermite has a hard time burning through ceramic. Josh explained this, but before he got anywhere near to being finished I asked him how he knew all this. All he said was, “Kids have easy access to the internet these days.”
With that said, he rigged up a piece of ceramic at an angle on the door where the lock was and put some of his magical mixture on top. Then, using the worlds cheapest sparkler he ignited his homemade lava which mostly ran down the door but did appear to have made a small hole. That was when Josh turned to us and said, “This is going to take a while, I’ll let you know when we’re in”.
Aj and Victor wandered off but I stayed since, this was probably the last fireworks show I would ever get to see. What started as a small hole turned into a dent, the dent grew into a crevice and the crevice turned into a crag. Also, if those words aren’t in the correct order, sorry but you get the idea of where I am going here.
Before long Josh didn’t have to use the ceramic, he just packed the hole with powder and ignited it. Some would burn down into the door while the rest burned at an angle through it. I asked how much of the stuff he had made and he only laughed.
After about 3 hours of work we could see through to the other side of the door. It was still locked, but Josh said it was only a matter of time before we were through. And with that, I am going to sleep where I will probably dream of volcanoes.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Day One Hundred Three:
Day One Hundred Three:
Row row row your boat gently down the stream,
Merrily Merrily Merrily Merrily
Life is but a bombed out possibly radioactive still smoldering dream.
The first Toy Store we went into was non-existant. Just trying to figure out where it might have originally been was a challenge since any way of telling what street we were on, or lot we were in had been vaporized. I think at one point I was able to find what might have once been a Tonka truck, but it also could have been a wheel chair or a car or who knows? On a positive note, there were no ex-humes either which was nice.
After canvassing the area to make sure there wasn’t an entire toy store hidden underneath mounds of glassed over rubble, we went back to the boat. Before we got to our next destination we knew we might be in luck. Several of the buildings on the far end of the island were still standing along with various cars, trees, items you would expect to see in a world that didn’t need to explode in order to protect itself.
Unfortunately, this also meant there might be monsters waiting to rip our faces off but we made it to the half toy store without incident. I say half, because the other half was completely collapsed. After searching for about an hour we found a very dirty giant stuffed panda bear, a couple functional bicycles that we goofed around on, Optimus Prime, and drum roll please…
3 Etch a Sketches!
At first we were thrilled when we found them because we figured we’d hit the mother load. Unfortunately, this wasn’t an Etch A Sketch supply warehouse and because of that, the store wasn’t carrying 26,000 of them. Just three. One of the three was cracked open but we figured maybe it would still be usable so we took it as well.
With our top secret mission accomplished we returned back to the naval base. You might be wondering why Josh didn’t go with us on this voyage, because I know I was suspicious as all hell when he said he wasn’t joining us. But, according to him, while we were out scavenging for Etch a Sketches, he would try to gather up the rest of the necessary items he would need to make whatever can combine with an Etch a Sketch to open an impenetrable vault door.
Either that or he would set up some type of trap and we would be slaughtered the second we set foot on the Naval Base. Then again, he could have killed us day one if he wanted but, I don’t know. Still having a hard time trusting someone new I guess. Part of me still thinks Victor will try to cut my throat in the middle of the night. AJ is the only person left on this planet that I feel comfortable with.
Speaking of AJ, he’s been much more quiet than usual. I don’t know what is going on in that big head of his but, I hope he is ok. Can’t really afford to have the only person I trust go insane.
Back at the Naval Base we weren’t gunned down, but we weren’t greeted by our new friend either. He was back inside, along with a bunch of cheap sparklers, a mound of steel wool, some various ceramic pots, and what looked like a drug dealer's scale.
Either Josh really does know what he is doing, or he's on some drugs and we've been completely wasting our time. Guess we’ll find out tomorrow.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Day One Hundred Two:
Day One Hundred Two:
Josh showed us a fairly detailed map of the area today. Apparently, the map was the militaries before the military got sick like everyone else and showed pretty much everything that had been destroyed and/or quarantined. Is quarantine the right word? Hmmmm, it showed all the houses that had been cleared from top to bottom by soldiers.
At some point they had pretty much gone from Big Coppit Key on the East end of the island and worked all the way across to the bridge that connects the Naval Air Station to Stock Island. Similar to Sugarloaf Key to the East, they also flattened Stock Island with whatever ordinance they had on hand. According to Josh, on the plus side they did evacuate the entire island before blowing it to hell. Not that it mattered, everyone besides Josh died anyway.
This only left a few unknowns. Right off the Eastern Coast of the Naval Air Station is another Key called the Shark Key. From the map it looks like there are maybe 30-40 houses although if they were like everyone else then, the occupants of those houses all took shelter at the Naval Base like everyone else. A second question AJ had was whether or not Josh knew if the military knocked out Cuba. Although it's at least 100 miles across the ocean, you have to figure that some of the 11 million people over there might be uninfected and as a result, might be heading North to escape. I don’t know why they would wait this long to try to escape North but, a threat is a threat.
That leaves the underground portion of the base I mentioned yesterday. We were all set to explore it. We got our flashlights, weapons, protective padding, shoelaces tied, everything! Then after opening a door with all sorts of security clearance warnings that Josh had never ventured past, we walked down a flight of stairs and…
And found another much more serious door. A door that would probably need to use dynamite as a doorbell. On the plus side, whatever is in there definitely isn’t getting out. On the negative side, now we are all really really curious. And although there might not be any cats left for curiosity to kill, it is bound to annoy us to death if we don’t figure out how to get in there.
Josh mentioned he might be able to get past the door if we could find a toy store. According to him, there were two on Key West, if they hadn’t been completely bombed out. Pending that one of the toy stores was still standing, we would need to rummage around inside and find as many etch-a-sketches as possible. When we asked him why he only replied with, “I will explain why if you actually find them otherwise, who cares.”
Strange kid.
Well, it’s official. To paraphrase Chevy Chase if you remember who that was, “We’re on a quest, a quest for fun! Praise Marty Moose!” Also, I’m going to try to track down a copy of National Lampoon’s Vacation. Might be fun to have a movie night on this island.
Also, sorry if I fucked that quote up. It’s been a while since I’ve seen that movie, or a working television for that matter.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Day One Hundred One:
Day One Hundred One:
You know how I can tell I feel safe here? My biggest concern today was whether or not to titled the 101st day One Hundred One or One hundred AND one. I decided on the first since I think and is supposed to represent a decimal point.
Yeah, life on the island is good.
At first we were all thinking of requisitioning some of the nicer houses on the island but the more we thought about it, the more we thought it would be more prudent to stay together inside the confines of the Naval Base. Eventually we might branch out if we decide to stay put but, for now this makes the most sense.
Plus, during the last few months Josh was able to make the place pretty cozy. At first he was using gas powered generators to keep things running but then he managed to set up a pretty decent solar grid. Even has a makeshift shower in one of the rooms which is nice.
Victor was thrilled because we were able to give him his very own completely sterilized sectioned off section of the base. Josh even had a few leftover hazmat suits which he cleaned up and gave to Victor. A nice replacement for the filth and stench encrusted gear that we've gotten to enjoy for the last couple weeks.
Tomorrow we're going to explore the lower depths of the Naval Base with Josh. I can't imagine any ex-humes surviving down there for however many months they would have been stranded but I never would have imagined humanity turning into whatever it is now so who knows.
You know how I can tell I feel safe here? My biggest concern today was whether or not to titled the 101st day One Hundred One or One hundred AND one. I decided on the first since I think and is supposed to represent a decimal point.
Yeah, life on the island is good.
At first we were all thinking of requisitioning some of the nicer houses on the island but the more we thought about it, the more we thought it would be more prudent to stay together inside the confines of the Naval Base. Eventually we might branch out if we decide to stay put but, for now this makes the most sense.
Plus, during the last few months Josh was able to make the place pretty cozy. At first he was using gas powered generators to keep things running but then he managed to set up a pretty decent solar grid. Even has a makeshift shower in one of the rooms which is nice.
Victor was thrilled because we were able to give him his very own completely sterilized sectioned off section of the base. Josh even had a few leftover hazmat suits which he cleaned up and gave to Victor. A nice replacement for the filth and stench encrusted gear that we've gotten to enjoy for the last couple weeks.
Tomorrow we're going to explore the lower depths of the Naval Base with Josh. I can't imagine any ex-humes surviving down there for however many months they would have been stranded but I never would have imagined humanity turning into whatever it is now so who knows.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Day One Hundred:
Day One Hundred:
If anyone reading this still remember the band Pearl Jam, for the entire day I haven’t been able to get the chorus of their song “Alive” out of my head for obvious reasons.
100 days, or more importantly, 100 not deaths. Cue the fireworks.
To celebrate our 100th day alive, we took a tour of a mostly dead island! Apparently, the people inside the Naval Base had held on longer than most but like the death camp that Aj, Victor, and I got to be part of eventually the sickness got through. When it did, every single person on the island either killed themselves or had this poor kid Josh do it for them.
Fortunately for him, some of the people in the Naval Base had enough strength to take care of his parents and siblings when they got sick. I obviously didn’t mention it to him, but it is interesting that one person being immune to this disease doesn’t necessarily mean anyone else in the family will luck out as well. Must be some type of recessive trait that… wow. Look at me talking like a scientist. Yeah, must be the third helix of the DNA reconfiguration of the Saturn Moonbeams celestial pull.
Right, back to talking about what I actually know about. Namely, our current situation.
So after the tour Josh showed us where we could set up shop if we wanted. Like everywhere else, food isn’t much of a problem. Everything we could ever want within reason can probably be found on this island. The only real hazard seems to be the fact that some of the lower levels of the base might have some Ex-humes still alive and kicking but other than that… for all extents and purposes this is paradise.
I haven’t talked with AJ or Victor yet, but if I had to guess I would say we will all be staying put for a while here and getting to know our new barefoot friend.
If anyone reading this still remember the band Pearl Jam, for the entire day I haven’t been able to get the chorus of their song “Alive” out of my head for obvious reasons.
100 days, or more importantly, 100 not deaths. Cue the fireworks.
To celebrate our 100th day alive, we took a tour of a mostly dead island! Apparently, the people inside the Naval Base had held on longer than most but like the death camp that Aj, Victor, and I got to be part of eventually the sickness got through. When it did, every single person on the island either killed themselves or had this poor kid Josh do it for them.
Fortunately for him, some of the people in the Naval Base had enough strength to take care of his parents and siblings when they got sick. I obviously didn’t mention it to him, but it is interesting that one person being immune to this disease doesn’t necessarily mean anyone else in the family will luck out as well. Must be some type of recessive trait that… wow. Look at me talking like a scientist. Yeah, must be the third helix of the DNA reconfiguration of the Saturn Moonbeams celestial pull.
Right, back to talking about what I actually know about. Namely, our current situation.
So after the tour Josh showed us where we could set up shop if we wanted. Like everywhere else, food isn’t much of a problem. Everything we could ever want within reason can probably be found on this island. The only real hazard seems to be the fact that some of the lower levels of the base might have some Ex-humes still alive and kicking but other than that… for all extents and purposes this is paradise.
I haven’t talked with AJ or Victor yet, but if I had to guess I would say we will all be staying put for a while here and getting to know our new barefoot friend.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Day Ninety Nine:
Day Ninety Nine:
To say that someone decided to blow up the Interstate 1 bridge thing in the keys would be an understatement. I don’t know if they were worried about the ex-humes somehow figuring out how to make concrete and get engineering degrees and then rebuild the bridges but, someone at some point decided to completely obliterate about 20 miles of bridge. Then from there, they went and blew the shit out of mile long stretches of bridges for several of the nearby islands.
We weren’t able to tell for sure, but on my map there is something called the Sugarloaf Key which is probably the closest location to that Naval Air Station and it looked like they not only blew up the bridges but… destroyed the entire fucking island. Granted, at the time of the bombing 95% of the place was probably ex-hume central but does that justify killing people that potentially could have been like AJ and I?
This in turn presents another serious problem. If the Naval Air Station was responsible for blowing an entire community to hell and back, how likely would they be to welcome us ashore? Especially considering the fact that we observed several boats washed up on the shore that looked like they’d been riddled with bullet holes.
While AJ and I were trying to figure out what to do next, Victor put the boat in drive and started our approach towards the Naval Base. Before we could ask what he was doing he said, “We didn’t come all this way not to find out and I‘m not about to become a fisherman so let‘s get going.”
How do you argue with that?
About a mile from the Naval Base we were surprised to see absolutely nothing. Half a mile out, I was expecting some type of heat seeking missile to blow us up but no. Closer and closer we got without even the slightest amount of death blowing us to bits. It wasn’t until we got to shore that a bullet exploded in the sand in front of us.
This was followed by a voice, a voice that yelled. “I don’t want any trouble and I don’t want to hurt anyone so if you want to make it any further please leave all your items there until we can verify your identity.”
I think we all would have been more than willing to do this if the last time we agreed to such measures hadn’t result in us being locked away in a room and then infecting and slaughtering everyone Victor knew. So we agree, but before we agreed we all made sure we had a pistol in the back of our waistband and then yelled, “What now?”
The voice instructed us to walk away from our boat and then to sit down once we were about 100 yards away from it. We complied and after about five minutes we saw one skinny kid walking towards us decked out in soldier gear with an M4 rifle at the ready. At first glance he looked to be about 20 but as he got closer I realized it was just all the military gear making him look older. He said he was 18 but if I had to guess I wouldn’t put him a day over 16.
Not that it matters. Alive is alive.
He said his name was Joshua and the first thing all of us noticed immediately after noticing how young he was, was the fact that he was barefoot. When pressed on this issue he smiled and simply said “Always wanted to start a barefoot revolution, why not start now. Follow me”
And we did, always expecting for him to rendezvous with someone else, but after getting in his car and driving back to the Naval Base it became apparent that unless there was some type of underground bunker… this kid was all that was left here.
To say that someone decided to blow up the Interstate 1 bridge thing in the keys would be an understatement. I don’t know if they were worried about the ex-humes somehow figuring out how to make concrete and get engineering degrees and then rebuild the bridges but, someone at some point decided to completely obliterate about 20 miles of bridge. Then from there, they went and blew the shit out of mile long stretches of bridges for several of the nearby islands.
We weren’t able to tell for sure, but on my map there is something called the Sugarloaf Key which is probably the closest location to that Naval Air Station and it looked like they not only blew up the bridges but… destroyed the entire fucking island. Granted, at the time of the bombing 95% of the place was probably ex-hume central but does that justify killing people that potentially could have been like AJ and I?
This in turn presents another serious problem. If the Naval Air Station was responsible for blowing an entire community to hell and back, how likely would they be to welcome us ashore? Especially considering the fact that we observed several boats washed up on the shore that looked like they’d been riddled with bullet holes.
While AJ and I were trying to figure out what to do next, Victor put the boat in drive and started our approach towards the Naval Base. Before we could ask what he was doing he said, “We didn’t come all this way not to find out and I‘m not about to become a fisherman so let‘s get going.”
How do you argue with that?
About a mile from the Naval Base we were surprised to see absolutely nothing. Half a mile out, I was expecting some type of heat seeking missile to blow us up but no. Closer and closer we got without even the slightest amount of death blowing us to bits. It wasn’t until we got to shore that a bullet exploded in the sand in front of us.
This was followed by a voice, a voice that yelled. “I don’t want any trouble and I don’t want to hurt anyone so if you want to make it any further please leave all your items there until we can verify your identity.”
I think we all would have been more than willing to do this if the last time we agreed to such measures hadn’t result in us being locked away in a room and then infecting and slaughtering everyone Victor knew. So we agree, but before we agreed we all made sure we had a pistol in the back of our waistband and then yelled, “What now?”
The voice instructed us to walk away from our boat and then to sit down once we were about 100 yards away from it. We complied and after about five minutes we saw one skinny kid walking towards us decked out in soldier gear with an M4 rifle at the ready. At first glance he looked to be about 20 but as he got closer I realized it was just all the military gear making him look older. He said he was 18 but if I had to guess I wouldn’t put him a day over 16.
Not that it matters. Alive is alive.
He said his name was Joshua and the first thing all of us noticed immediately after noticing how young he was, was the fact that he was barefoot. When pressed on this issue he smiled and simply said “Always wanted to start a barefoot revolution, why not start now. Follow me”
And we did, always expecting for him to rendezvous with someone else, but after getting in his car and driving back to the Naval Base it became apparent that unless there was some type of underground bunker… this kid was all that was left here.
Day Ninety Eight:
Day Ninety Eight:
The good news! We found a nice 45 foot boat along with the keys and as an added bonus it had an almost full tank of gas.
The bad news: Within minutes of finding it, roughly half the population Florida decided to attack us which resulted in us leaving 90% of or supplies in our cars. In the movies this would be an incredible problem, in reality though… all we had to do was drive about a mile from shore, anchor the boat, and wait for nightfall at which point we drove back and heeding Elmer Fudd’s advice to be vewy vewy quiet, we managed to recover everything we needed without anymore attacks.
I guess it was kind of a bummer since we wasted an entire day doing this but, since I’m pretty sure the entire fucking world isn’t really adhering to any type of time schedule anymore I figure, one mostly wasted day is par for the course.
Tomorrow we will do our best to follow Interstate 1 or Highway 1 or whatever you call the damn road that drives over all the water in the Florida Keys. Hopefully the boat doesn’t get stuck.
The good news! We found a nice 45 foot boat along with the keys and as an added bonus it had an almost full tank of gas.
The bad news: Within minutes of finding it, roughly half the population Florida decided to attack us which resulted in us leaving 90% of or supplies in our cars. In the movies this would be an incredible problem, in reality though… all we had to do was drive about a mile from shore, anchor the boat, and wait for nightfall at which point we drove back and heeding Elmer Fudd’s advice to be vewy vewy quiet, we managed to recover everything we needed without anymore attacks.
I guess it was kind of a bummer since we wasted an entire day doing this but, since I’m pretty sure the entire fucking world isn’t really adhering to any type of time schedule anymore I figure, one mostly wasted day is par for the course.
Tomorrow we will do our best to follow Interstate 1 or Highway 1 or whatever you call the damn road that drives over all the water in the Florida Keys. Hopefully the boat doesn’t get stuck.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Day Ninety Seven:
Day Ninety Seven:
We've been sticking to I-75, passed through Georgia today without any issues and decided to camp right near the Florida state line. Managed to liberate a more detailed state map of Florida from one of the now infinite number of abandoned gas stations. Victor now believes the most probable place for a government quarantine to take place would be at the NAS Key West.
I had no idea what NAS meant, apparently it is Naval Air Station. The problem is, since it is in the Keys if they did quarantine people there then they also probably blew the living shit out of the bridges that lead to that area. This concerned Victor until I pointed out that the entire boating population of Florida is now either dead, quarantined, or Ex-humed... and that we will have the pick of the litter when it comes to aquatic vessels he cheered up a little.
Also, AJ informed us today that he doesn't know how to swim and is terrified of the water. So that should be fun.
We've been sticking to I-75, passed through Georgia today without any issues and decided to camp right near the Florida state line. Managed to liberate a more detailed state map of Florida from one of the now infinite number of abandoned gas stations. Victor now believes the most probable place for a government quarantine to take place would be at the NAS Key West.
I had no idea what NAS meant, apparently it is Naval Air Station. The problem is, since it is in the Keys if they did quarantine people there then they also probably blew the living shit out of the bridges that lead to that area. This concerned Victor until I pointed out that the entire boating population of Florida is now either dead, quarantined, or Ex-humed... and that we will have the pick of the litter when it comes to aquatic vessels he cheered up a little.
Also, AJ informed us today that he doesn't know how to swim and is terrified of the water. So that should be fun.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Day Ninety Six:
Day Ninety Six:
I just realized I never really explained how we are surviving. I mean, obviously with guns. But the way I have been writing it just seems like we are driving endlessly when that is definitely not the case. We average between 300-500 miles a day which doesn't seem like much at all but, we pretty much only travel during the day and once we are in the later part of the day we start branching off into different towns to find where we will be staying for the night.
Once there we decide which building offers the most safety and requires the least amount of modifications to keep it safe IE boarding up windows, locking a gate, etc...
Then if need be, we find a local hardware store or Home Depot and spend an hour or two fortifying our shelter. AJ has been marking every location on the road atlas as well so if we ever need to come back this way we will be able to possibly travel twice as far with the knowledge that we will have a safe haven ready and waiting for us.
If there is time we will track down something good to eat and since there wasn't any real looting worth mentioning we usually find something good once we get past all the once fresh stuff that has rotted away to gross.
This entry isn't very exciting or thought provoking but, whenever I used to read stuff like this I would always get annoyed when the focus would be solely on all the action without anyone ever taking the time to write in a scene where the people have to take a shit, or sleep, or refuel, or whatever.
So anyway, on a more interesting note. Since we are going to Florida, I wonder if the gators are doing their part to help control the local ex-hume infestation? I hope so.
I just realized I never really explained how we are surviving. I mean, obviously with guns. But the way I have been writing it just seems like we are driving endlessly when that is definitely not the case. We average between 300-500 miles a day which doesn't seem like much at all but, we pretty much only travel during the day and once we are in the later part of the day we start branching off into different towns to find where we will be staying for the night.
Once there we decide which building offers the most safety and requires the least amount of modifications to keep it safe IE boarding up windows, locking a gate, etc...
Then if need be, we find a local hardware store or Home Depot and spend an hour or two fortifying our shelter. AJ has been marking every location on the road atlas as well so if we ever need to come back this way we will be able to possibly travel twice as far with the knowledge that we will have a safe haven ready and waiting for us.
If there is time we will track down something good to eat and since there wasn't any real looting worth mentioning we usually find something good once we get past all the once fresh stuff that has rotted away to gross.
This entry isn't very exciting or thought provoking but, whenever I used to read stuff like this I would always get annoyed when the focus would be solely on all the action without anyone ever taking the time to write in a scene where the people have to take a shit, or sleep, or refuel, or whatever.
So anyway, on a more interesting note. Since we are going to Florida, I wonder if the gators are doing their part to help control the local ex-hume infestation? I hope so.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Day Ninety Five:
Day Ninety Five: I wonder what will happen on my Day 100 entry? Will we reach the island off the coast of Florida? Will we all be rescued? Will a vaccine be found? Will a movie star make a cameo appearance and save the day?
You know what is odd? Every movie star, or at least I assume every movie star is now one of those things. And the award for best Ex-hume goes to...
Actually, the Oscars would probably be more entertaining with these beasts. Anything is better than watching the movie no one has ever seen or ever wanted to see win best picture year after year after... oh wait, I guess the Oscars won't be on this year huh? At least this apocalypse has some benefits.
You know what is odd? Every movie star, or at least I assume every movie star is now one of those things. And the award for best Ex-hume goes to...
Actually, the Oscars would probably be more entertaining with these beasts. Anything is better than watching the movie no one has ever seen or ever wanted to see win best picture year after year after... oh wait, I guess the Oscars won't be on this year huh? At least this apocalypse has some benefits.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Day Ninety Four:
Day Ninety Four:
Still headed south, hooray for road atlases! I wish I had more to write. We all laughed today about all the shit we used to worry about. Global warming, gas prices, inflation, job stability... OH NO! God we were all so fucking stupid. Save the planet? Go fuck yourself.
I started laughing to the point of tears today when AJ mentioned that every vegan on the planet is now a meat eater. Oh the irony. These days PETA stands for "People Eating Tasty Anything".
Still headed south, hooray for road atlases! I wish I had more to write. We all laughed today about all the shit we used to worry about. Global warming, gas prices, inflation, job stability... OH NO! God we were all so fucking stupid. Save the planet? Go fuck yourself.
I started laughing to the point of tears today when AJ mentioned that every vegan on the planet is now a meat eater. Oh the irony. These days PETA stands for "People Eating Tasty Anything".
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Day Ninety Three:
Day Ninety Three:
We're headed south, cruising along, making a day out of it. Victor driving one very very sterilized car, AJ and I in the other. Got the walkie talkies on, making jokes, pretty much existing like we used to. Everything was going great. Then Victor got a flat tire.
You know how sometimes when you're in the woods you get that feeling that someone or something is watching you? Well, ever since the ex-humes turned into stealthy packs of feral ninjas I have had that feeling. Everywhere we would go I couldn't help but feel like we were being watched, stalked, and sized up.
Today, that suspicion was verified.
Victor let us know he had a flat so we all stopped together. While he quickly put his bio-suit on, AJ and I got out to check the damage. We were outside all of about 25 seconds when we saw them coming towards us.
Except coming towards us is an understatement. Running full throttle, flat out, at 300 miles per hour, with the fires of hell in their blood would be a more accurate description of what we saw. First there were maybe 5 coming out of the trees in the distance, then they were joined by 10 more, and by the time Victor had his suit on we had at least 50 Ex-humes closing in on us.
Before they were even close AJ and I began firing out rifles in an attempt to scare them off. It didn't. They ran at us like that scene in Aliens where the sentry guns aren't able to deter the bugs at all. As they came into range we began dropping one after another after another... but it became quickly apparent that we had about 45 seconds until they would be on top of us.
All of us piled into the good car and took off. We had hoped that they would follow us and then wander back into the woods. Unfortunately by the time we looped back to Victors car it was obliterated. Additionally, the ex-humes we had been damn near stripped of every inch of meat on their bodies.
The lesson?
Time to mount a big ass gun on the roof of our car.
We're headed south, cruising along, making a day out of it. Victor driving one very very sterilized car, AJ and I in the other. Got the walkie talkies on, making jokes, pretty much existing like we used to. Everything was going great. Then Victor got a flat tire.
You know how sometimes when you're in the woods you get that feeling that someone or something is watching you? Well, ever since the ex-humes turned into stealthy packs of feral ninjas I have had that feeling. Everywhere we would go I couldn't help but feel like we were being watched, stalked, and sized up.
Today, that suspicion was verified.
Victor let us know he had a flat so we all stopped together. While he quickly put his bio-suit on, AJ and I got out to check the damage. We were outside all of about 25 seconds when we saw them coming towards us.
Except coming towards us is an understatement. Running full throttle, flat out, at 300 miles per hour, with the fires of hell in their blood would be a more accurate description of what we saw. First there were maybe 5 coming out of the trees in the distance, then they were joined by 10 more, and by the time Victor had his suit on we had at least 50 Ex-humes closing in on us.
Before they were even close AJ and I began firing out rifles in an attempt to scare them off. It didn't. They ran at us like that scene in Aliens where the sentry guns aren't able to deter the bugs at all. As they came into range we began dropping one after another after another... but it became quickly apparent that we had about 45 seconds until they would be on top of us.
All of us piled into the good car and took off. We had hoped that they would follow us and then wander back into the woods. Unfortunately by the time we looped back to Victors car it was obliterated. Additionally, the ex-humes we had been damn near stripped of every inch of meat on their bodies.
The lesson?
Time to mount a big ass gun on the roof of our car.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Day Ninety Two:
Day Ninety Two:
Funny how one day we are making fun of Victor for his conspiracy island survival theories, and the next we are headed to Florida in the hopes that his crazy is actually reality. When I tried to argue with him and AJ they countered with a very very sound argument.
They simply said, "What else do we have to do?"
Touche'.
Even if no one made it to the islands, even if all we find is more death and chaos, so? It still gives us something to shoot for. And if that something happens to include warm water and nice weather... well, maybe it won't be so bad.
Makes me wonder though, would they welcome us? I mean, AJ pretty much confirmed that he is infected. The only thing we don't know is if he is contagion is airborne or solely through blood. We also don't know if he was already infected before being bit, which would mean we both probably are.
I suppose we will cross that bridge when we come to it, then we will probably blow the bridge up so we don't have a mega swarm of ex-humes sneak up behind us. Which brings up another interesting question: Can Ex-humes swim?
Lets hope not.
Funny how one day we are making fun of Victor for his conspiracy island survival theories, and the next we are headed to Florida in the hopes that his crazy is actually reality. When I tried to argue with him and AJ they countered with a very very sound argument.
They simply said, "What else do we have to do?"
Touche'.
Even if no one made it to the islands, even if all we find is more death and chaos, so? It still gives us something to shoot for. And if that something happens to include warm water and nice weather... well, maybe it won't be so bad.
Makes me wonder though, would they welcome us? I mean, AJ pretty much confirmed that he is infected. The only thing we don't know is if he is contagion is airborne or solely through blood. We also don't know if he was already infected before being bit, which would mean we both probably are.
I suppose we will cross that bridge when we come to it, then we will probably blow the bridge up so we don't have a mega swarm of ex-humes sneak up behind us. Which brings up another interesting question: Can Ex-humes swim?
Lets hope not.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Day Ninety One:
Day Ninety One:
Today was good. First day in a while where we all just got to talk and occasionally *gasp* even laugh! Got to hear another one of AJ’s theories of the universe which is always a real treat.
His new theory is that the ex-humes are nothing new. At first I thought he was going to say they were like Bigfoot or vampires, always lurking in the shadows and waiting till now to spring their trap. But no, his idea actually seemed somewhat possible even if it isn’t very likely.
He said that maybe we had done this before, maybe mankind had made it to where we are now, maybe even further and at some point we created something that just sort of, shorted out almost everyone’s brains.
We asked how that could be possible? There would still be evidence of something if that was the case. But he countered with, what if this happened millions of years before our earliest records of cavemen. What if some of the craters that we thought were asteroids that killed the dinosaurs, were actually something as simple as a nuclear reactor meltdown. What if we had been here before, and accidentally reset the world. What if it had happened more than once.
And what if we were really trapped inside the Matrix!
AJ didn’t laugh when I said that, but Victor did.
I will give AJ credit though, because it definitely seems possible. Although the idea of mankind constantly erasing all of its accomplishments every billion years of so isn’t exactly a topic to cheer up the mood so we drifted away from that and focused in on stories from Victor.
He asked if we knew about the islands?
We said we knew that they were masses of land surrounded by water but outside of that, no.
According to Victor the government had taken the brightest and the best, and quarantined an island somewhere down south. Probably off the coast of Florida. He said that if we could make it there we would be safe. I explained that before we could do that, we would have to decide whether to take the red pill or blue pill which made him laugh again.
He told us more about his swarm experience and the people he was with. Told us where he grew up, about all the hands on medical experience he had been forced into since this thing started, and how he thought that before long the swarms of 1000 would probably combine into some sort of mega swarm. When that happened, food would start to get real scarce.
I changed topics to McDonalds ice cream which spiraled into an hour long conversation about all the food we missed. This was followed by all of us eating the last pack of twinkies I had in my backpack.
In the words of the late Ice Cube… Today was a good day.
Sort of funny that from here on out… 99.999% of every quote will be considered to be, “In the words of the late…” Ah well
Today was good. First day in a while where we all just got to talk and occasionally *gasp* even laugh! Got to hear another one of AJ’s theories of the universe which is always a real treat.
His new theory is that the ex-humes are nothing new. At first I thought he was going to say they were like Bigfoot or vampires, always lurking in the shadows and waiting till now to spring their trap. But no, his idea actually seemed somewhat possible even if it isn’t very likely.
He said that maybe we had done this before, maybe mankind had made it to where we are now, maybe even further and at some point we created something that just sort of, shorted out almost everyone’s brains.
We asked how that could be possible? There would still be evidence of something if that was the case. But he countered with, what if this happened millions of years before our earliest records of cavemen. What if some of the craters that we thought were asteroids that killed the dinosaurs, were actually something as simple as a nuclear reactor meltdown. What if we had been here before, and accidentally reset the world. What if it had happened more than once.
And what if we were really trapped inside the Matrix!
AJ didn’t laugh when I said that, but Victor did.
I will give AJ credit though, because it definitely seems possible. Although the idea of mankind constantly erasing all of its accomplishments every billion years of so isn’t exactly a topic to cheer up the mood so we drifted away from that and focused in on stories from Victor.
He asked if we knew about the islands?
We said we knew that they were masses of land surrounded by water but outside of that, no.
According to Victor the government had taken the brightest and the best, and quarantined an island somewhere down south. Probably off the coast of Florida. He said that if we could make it there we would be safe. I explained that before we could do that, we would have to decide whether to take the red pill or blue pill which made him laugh again.
He told us more about his swarm experience and the people he was with. Told us where he grew up, about all the hands on medical experience he had been forced into since this thing started, and how he thought that before long the swarms of 1000 would probably combine into some sort of mega swarm. When that happened, food would start to get real scarce.
I changed topics to McDonalds ice cream which spiraled into an hour long conversation about all the food we missed. This was followed by all of us eating the last pack of twinkies I had in my backpack.
In the words of the late Ice Cube… Today was a good day.
Sort of funny that from here on out… 99.999% of every quote will be considered to be, “In the words of the late…” Ah well
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Day Eighty Eight, Nine, Ninety:
Day Eighty Eight, Nine, Ninety:
Victor asked us all sort of questions. Where we had lived, how we survived, if we had met others (Poor Arnie), and then he started telling us stuff we didn’t know. He asked if we knew about the Swarms.
Obviously we had not so he explained how sometimes the Ex-humes move in groups which we already knew. But sometimes, those groups combine with other groups until eventually they are one super group. When that happens, they apparently act almost like locust and just lay waste to everything in their path.
The first time he encountered a swarm was with his initial group. Back then he said, they had at least forty people, probably closer to fifty, and wouldn’t have been nearly as easy to pick off when they got to that rape/labor camp but when the swarm hit…even with everyone armed they almost got wiped out.
They made the mistake of trying to fight, but the ex-humes group must have been at least 1000 deep and outnumbered them 20 to 1. Kill one, another one jumps over it. Kill that one, repeat step on. After killing about 100 of them, the remaining 900 were at the walls of their camp.
Victor asked us, “You ever try fighting a war in a full biosuit? It ain’t fucking easy.”
When it became clear that they couldn’t stop them, they retreated to their vehicles. By then they were down to 20, maybe 25 people. But as soon as they pulled off the perimeter the things swarmed in. Victor an a handful of others were lucky enough to make it to their military truck. Everyone else that ran for a regular car, truck, or house was devoured in seconds.
Victor and a few others fired out the back of the vehicle while a hair stylist named David Jenkins drove them away from the camp. When they were far enough away, the only surviving military guy in their group hit a detonator and blew their camp and most of the swarm back to hell. Then he shot himself in the head since he had been bitten.
By the time they made it to the Slaver camp, they were down to 5 people including Victor. The survivors had fought for their lives and watched their loved ones die only to be murdered by a group of psychopaths.
After hearing his story, we figured it was probably best to get rid of Bossman as well. We went to work finding spare bio-suits and doing our best to make the camp look as normal as always. Sort of tricky since, we only had three men to accomplish this and according to Victor their Bossman had at least 4 others with him.
Fortunately though, we had two more days before he was expected back. During that time we dug a hole inside the compound just past the main gate. Not just a hole, a grave. A grave that would fit an entire car and all of its occupants. A grave Stephen King would be proud of.
Once we were sure the hole was at least big enough to fit two cars driving side by side, we covered it with a brown tarp that they were using as a make shift tent at one of the guard outposts.
Unlike the disaster we encountered upon arriving at this horrible place, when Bossman returned everything went as planned. AJ notified Victor and I as soon as the car was approaching causing Victor and I to immediately the hole 1/3 of the way full with their gasoline reserves. When the car arrived, we opened the gate and watched it drive forward at its normal speed before going end over end into our hole.
The trick was to make the hole deep enough so that when it flipped, it would have enough room to go all the way in and have enough momentum to flip it over onto its roof which is did.
And then they all got to enjoy the sweet release of burning to death before hopefully going off to the afterlife and burning for eternity there as well.
We talked about staying at the camp but, after a brief discussion we decided that we would have better luck finding survivors and hopefully avoiding swarms if we stayed on the move. After packing up all the supplies we needed we left a note stating our direction of travel and where other survivors could locate the remaining food and supplies.
After today I will try to go back to 1 day entries. It has just been a crazy week. Sort of hard to stop what you’re doing and fill out your journal when you are planning to murder a car full of people.
Victor asked us all sort of questions. Where we had lived, how we survived, if we had met others (Poor Arnie), and then he started telling us stuff we didn’t know. He asked if we knew about the Swarms.
Obviously we had not so he explained how sometimes the Ex-humes move in groups which we already knew. But sometimes, those groups combine with other groups until eventually they are one super group. When that happens, they apparently act almost like locust and just lay waste to everything in their path.
The first time he encountered a swarm was with his initial group. Back then he said, they had at least forty people, probably closer to fifty, and wouldn’t have been nearly as easy to pick off when they got to that rape/labor camp but when the swarm hit…even with everyone armed they almost got wiped out.
They made the mistake of trying to fight, but the ex-humes group must have been at least 1000 deep and outnumbered them 20 to 1. Kill one, another one jumps over it. Kill that one, repeat step on. After killing about 100 of them, the remaining 900 were at the walls of their camp.
Victor asked us, “You ever try fighting a war in a full biosuit? It ain’t fucking easy.”
When it became clear that they couldn’t stop them, they retreated to their vehicles. By then they were down to 20, maybe 25 people. But as soon as they pulled off the perimeter the things swarmed in. Victor an a handful of others were lucky enough to make it to their military truck. Everyone else that ran for a regular car, truck, or house was devoured in seconds.
Victor and a few others fired out the back of the vehicle while a hair stylist named David Jenkins drove them away from the camp. When they were far enough away, the only surviving military guy in their group hit a detonator and blew their camp and most of the swarm back to hell. Then he shot himself in the head since he had been bitten.
By the time they made it to the Slaver camp, they were down to 5 people including Victor. The survivors had fought for their lives and watched their loved ones die only to be murdered by a group of psychopaths.
After hearing his story, we figured it was probably best to get rid of Bossman as well. We went to work finding spare bio-suits and doing our best to make the camp look as normal as always. Sort of tricky since, we only had three men to accomplish this and according to Victor their Bossman had at least 4 others with him.
Fortunately though, we had two more days before he was expected back. During that time we dug a hole inside the compound just past the main gate. Not just a hole, a grave. A grave that would fit an entire car and all of its occupants. A grave Stephen King would be proud of.
Once we were sure the hole was at least big enough to fit two cars driving side by side, we covered it with a brown tarp that they were using as a make shift tent at one of the guard outposts.
Unlike the disaster we encountered upon arriving at this horrible place, when Bossman returned everything went as planned. AJ notified Victor and I as soon as the car was approaching causing Victor and I to immediately the hole 1/3 of the way full with their gasoline reserves. When the car arrived, we opened the gate and watched it drive forward at its normal speed before going end over end into our hole.
The trick was to make the hole deep enough so that when it flipped, it would have enough room to go all the way in and have enough momentum to flip it over onto its roof which is did.
And then they all got to enjoy the sweet release of burning to death before hopefully going off to the afterlife and burning for eternity there as well.
We talked about staying at the camp but, after a brief discussion we decided that we would have better luck finding survivors and hopefully avoiding swarms if we stayed on the move. After packing up all the supplies we needed we left a note stating our direction of travel and where other survivors could locate the remaining food and supplies.
After today I will try to go back to 1 day entries. It has just been a crazy week. Sort of hard to stop what you’re doing and fill out your journal when you are planning to murder a car full of people.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Day Eighty Five, Six, Seven:
Day Eighty Five, Six, Seven:
The next day when the guard came back he decided he actually wanted to talk to us for once. He sounded scared and desperate. Despite what we had been through and the fact that we were naked and being held against our will in a home made prison I almost felt sorry for him.
He was talking quiet but he wanted to know if we had done anything to him, he promised not to tell anyone if we had. We lied and said we hadn’t. We told him that after he had freaked out yesterday, we went over by the door to see what had scared him and saw there was the tip of a rusty nail sticking out.
Now if he hadn’t of been terrified this might have screwed us since he could have asked a lot of questions starting with, “Where is the nail?” Because it wasn’t like we had a claw hammer to pull it out of the door with, and we couldn’t exactly pound the sharp end of a nail back into the door with our bare hands. Fortunately, he was so freaked out that all he said was, “Oh shit”.
I lied and told him he might have tetanus and that if he let us out I could get him to an abandoned hospital and treat him. He said he would think about it but after that, we never saw him alive again.
So our nasty little viral friend jumped ship from him, to all of his friends over the course of about 6 hours. By day Eighty Six damn near everyone in that place was suffering from an acute case of the “About to be deads”. Our plan was to simply wait it out. Wait till we were as sure as we could be that everyone was too sick to move, and then kick down the door. After two of our meals were skipped and we couldn’t contact any guards we decided it was time to make our move.
Here’s the thing though, have you ever tried to bust out of a reinforced door while you’re naked? No? Because it is damn near impossible. We beat the living hell out of that door for over an hour and all we had to show for it was a bunch of bruised and bloody body parts.
As Day Eighty Seven approached we had gone over a day without any food or water. This might not seem like a big deal, but when you have no concept of time and no plan of escape… things get really scary really fast. Every itch, every body hiccup, every everything feels like the acute stages of something you should know more about that is probably going to kill you.
However, half way through what must have been Day Eighty Seven we heard gunshots. Lots and lots of gunshots. Not like, machinegun fire. More like, BAM! Then, three minutes later… BAM! This went on for at least an hour or two until eventually, no more gunshots.
A half our passed and then the slot in the door where we got our food from slid open and a man said, “Hello, I’m Victor, how are you?”
He pushed some bottles of water through the door along with glorious food and clothes. Unfortunately, after hearing all the gunshots AJ and I were convinced that the water was poisoned, along with the food. We got dressed quickly and then voiced this concern to him. He laughed before saying, “You must have heard all the gunshots, why would I poison you instead of just shooting you?”
Touche.
The water was gone in seconds and the food shortly after that. Apparently Victor didn’t want to be living there either. He had also come with a group of people and had been forced to sit naked in a room. He lied and said he was a doctor, which was sort of true since he had been working on a degree to become a male nurse but… the other people in his group were unable to impress their captors. As a result, the women were handed out like candy and the men were murdered after having been worked nearly to death with no provisions.
He told us the only reason we were being fed was because they were waiting for their boss to get back from an expedition he had gone on. If bossman had been around, we most likely would not be around to enjoy his company.
We asked if he was immune to the disease like us and he said no. He explained that he kept his biosuit on at all times and only showered once a week. The other people there took to calling him Icky Vic because of his smell but he didn’t care. He laughed when I said they would be smelling a lot worse real soon.
He asked us where our camp was and we told him we were it. He said we didn’t have to lie, he was there to help and we explained that we weren’t. He managed to get the door open and asked if he could come with us. I explained that we didn’t have any idea where we were going and he said that sounded perfect.
So after gathering up a bunch of supplies, he led us to the garage where they were storing our vehicle and off we went. A trio once more.
The next day when the guard came back he decided he actually wanted to talk to us for once. He sounded scared and desperate. Despite what we had been through and the fact that we were naked and being held against our will in a home made prison I almost felt sorry for him.
He was talking quiet but he wanted to know if we had done anything to him, he promised not to tell anyone if we had. We lied and said we hadn’t. We told him that after he had freaked out yesterday, we went over by the door to see what had scared him and saw there was the tip of a rusty nail sticking out.
Now if he hadn’t of been terrified this might have screwed us since he could have asked a lot of questions starting with, “Where is the nail?” Because it wasn’t like we had a claw hammer to pull it out of the door with, and we couldn’t exactly pound the sharp end of a nail back into the door with our bare hands. Fortunately, he was so freaked out that all he said was, “Oh shit”.
I lied and told him he might have tetanus and that if he let us out I could get him to an abandoned hospital and treat him. He said he would think about it but after that, we never saw him alive again.
So our nasty little viral friend jumped ship from him, to all of his friends over the course of about 6 hours. By day Eighty Six damn near everyone in that place was suffering from an acute case of the “About to be deads”. Our plan was to simply wait it out. Wait till we were as sure as we could be that everyone was too sick to move, and then kick down the door. After two of our meals were skipped and we couldn’t contact any guards we decided it was time to make our move.
Here’s the thing though, have you ever tried to bust out of a reinforced door while you’re naked? No? Because it is damn near impossible. We beat the living hell out of that door for over an hour and all we had to show for it was a bunch of bruised and bloody body parts.
As Day Eighty Seven approached we had gone over a day without any food or water. This might not seem like a big deal, but when you have no concept of time and no plan of escape… things get really scary really fast. Every itch, every body hiccup, every everything feels like the acute stages of something you should know more about that is probably going to kill you.
However, half way through what must have been Day Eighty Seven we heard gunshots. Lots and lots of gunshots. Not like, machinegun fire. More like, BAM! Then, three minutes later… BAM! This went on for at least an hour or two until eventually, no more gunshots.
A half our passed and then the slot in the door where we got our food from slid open and a man said, “Hello, I’m Victor, how are you?”
He pushed some bottles of water through the door along with glorious food and clothes. Unfortunately, after hearing all the gunshots AJ and I were convinced that the water was poisoned, along with the food. We got dressed quickly and then voiced this concern to him. He laughed before saying, “You must have heard all the gunshots, why would I poison you instead of just shooting you?”
Touche.
The water was gone in seconds and the food shortly after that. Apparently Victor didn’t want to be living there either. He had also come with a group of people and had been forced to sit naked in a room. He lied and said he was a doctor, which was sort of true since he had been working on a degree to become a male nurse but… the other people in his group were unable to impress their captors. As a result, the women were handed out like candy and the men were murdered after having been worked nearly to death with no provisions.
He told us the only reason we were being fed was because they were waiting for their boss to get back from an expedition he had gone on. If bossman had been around, we most likely would not be around to enjoy his company.
We asked if he was immune to the disease like us and he said no. He explained that he kept his biosuit on at all times and only showered once a week. The other people there took to calling him Icky Vic because of his smell but he didn’t care. He laughed when I said they would be smelling a lot worse real soon.
He asked us where our camp was and we told him we were it. He said we didn’t have to lie, he was there to help and we explained that we weren’t. He managed to get the door open and asked if he could come with us. I explained that we didn’t have any idea where we were going and he said that sounded perfect.
So after gathering up a bunch of supplies, he led us to the garage where they were storing our vehicle and off we went. A trio once more.
Day Eighty Four:
Day Eighty Four:
Another day passed, or did it? Without any windows time gets real hazy. I guess we could have kept track of time with the light shining through under the door or, by counting our meals but when you are fairly certain you are going to be murdered shortly… time loses its importance.
What doesn’t lose its importance is striving to find a way to keep yourself unkilled. I know I could say “alive” but that word doesn’t apply here. Eating crackers and drinking some water will keep you “alive” most days. When you are locked naked in a makeshift prison, what you want is to keep yourself un-fucking-killed.
It came down to us using good old fashioned biological warfare. Because lets face it, neither AJ nor I were professional ninjas previous to this plague. Neither of us could break a man's neck with our index finger and neither of us knew how to use hypnosis, or magic, or whatever else might have saved us.
What we did know was that AJ had been bitten by the ex-humes. What we didn’t know was whether or not that meant his blood was contagious as shit to anyone without a natural immunity like us, or if the virus died as soon as it entered his blood stream.
However, any chance was better than no chance so we went to work crafting a plan. The guards barely acknowledged our existence. The only time we ever saw them was when they threw our food to us and even then, all we saw was there hand coming through the slot in the door.
Sure, we could have grabbed his hand and sliced it open with the razor blade and dumped some of AJ’s blood into it while he struggled. But I was 99.9% certain that would result in him killing us. If not him, then his boss would shoot us in the head.
Had to look like an accident. Something he could be blamed for and still feel like maybe he would be ok. Had to use the same tactic you would use when dealing with rats. Give one poison food and let him bring that shit back to the nest to poison the others.
So we carved a little niche into the door with the Swiss Army knife, inserted the razor blade so that just a small edge was poking up. Small enough to be mistaken for a nail. Then moments before we expected breakfast or lunch or whatever the same shit they fed us every time was… we cut AJ a little with the razor and left his blood on the edge of it.
Fast forward to the guard sticking his hand through, then immediately dropping our food and pulling his hand back incredibly fast. Hearing him whisper to himself, “Oh fuck oh fuck” and then to us “Did you do this?”
We pretended to be confused and AJ asked if we could help, asked what was wrong. The man told us to shut the fuck up and left. As soon as he was gone we pulled the razor blade back out and hid it. If anyone came to figure out what cut him, no point of leaving evidence of what we did just lying around. Although I was pretty sure he wouldn’t say anything to anyone.
And then we waited.
And we waited.
And we waited.
Another day passed, or did it? Without any windows time gets real hazy. I guess we could have kept track of time with the light shining through under the door or, by counting our meals but when you are fairly certain you are going to be murdered shortly… time loses its importance.
What doesn’t lose its importance is striving to find a way to keep yourself unkilled. I know I could say “alive” but that word doesn’t apply here. Eating crackers and drinking some water will keep you “alive” most days. When you are locked naked in a makeshift prison, what you want is to keep yourself un-fucking-killed.
It came down to us using good old fashioned biological warfare. Because lets face it, neither AJ nor I were professional ninjas previous to this plague. Neither of us could break a man's neck with our index finger and neither of us knew how to use hypnosis, or magic, or whatever else might have saved us.
What we did know was that AJ had been bitten by the ex-humes. What we didn’t know was whether or not that meant his blood was contagious as shit to anyone without a natural immunity like us, or if the virus died as soon as it entered his blood stream.
However, any chance was better than no chance so we went to work crafting a plan. The guards barely acknowledged our existence. The only time we ever saw them was when they threw our food to us and even then, all we saw was there hand coming through the slot in the door.
Sure, we could have grabbed his hand and sliced it open with the razor blade and dumped some of AJ’s blood into it while he struggled. But I was 99.9% certain that would result in him killing us. If not him, then his boss would shoot us in the head.
Had to look like an accident. Something he could be blamed for and still feel like maybe he would be ok. Had to use the same tactic you would use when dealing with rats. Give one poison food and let him bring that shit back to the nest to poison the others.
So we carved a little niche into the door with the Swiss Army knife, inserted the razor blade so that just a small edge was poking up. Small enough to be mistaken for a nail. Then moments before we expected breakfast or lunch or whatever the same shit they fed us every time was… we cut AJ a little with the razor and left his blood on the edge of it.
Fast forward to the guard sticking his hand through, then immediately dropping our food and pulling his hand back incredibly fast. Hearing him whisper to himself, “Oh fuck oh fuck” and then to us “Did you do this?”
We pretended to be confused and AJ asked if we could help, asked what was wrong. The man told us to shut the fuck up and left. As soon as he was gone we pulled the razor blade back out and hid it. If anyone came to figure out what cut him, no point of leaving evidence of what we did just lying around. Although I was pretty sure he wouldn’t say anything to anyone.
And then we waited.
And we waited.
And we waited.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Day Eighty Three:
Day Eighty Three:
WWMCGD
You know, sort of like What Would Jesus Do but, replace Jesus with MacGuyver and you get WWMCGD.
So heres the plan we came up with. AJ would use the matches to melt down the boat key holder over the middle of the paper clips. Then, after tieing the string to one end of the paper clip, we would tie the other end to the doorknob. I would knock on the door and get the guard to come check out the commotion. As son as he touched the door handle and began to open the door, AJ would plug in the paper clip into one of the rooms power outlets.
When the guard got zapped, I would grab the gun and then quickly subdue him in our prison. One of us would wear his regular clothes, and one of us would wear his biosuit. We then would act as a guard and escort and breeze out of the facility without anyone being the wiser.
Also, if you think that would have worked you're a fucking idiot. Because it wouldn't. What would happen is, as soon as the paper clip went into the outlet a fuse would blow. Then we would probably be left naked in a room while someone tried to replace a fuse. Either that or they would figure out the bullshit we were up to and shoot us.
Either way we would lose because in real life, MacGuyver nonsense does not work ever.
Yesterday when I listed our inventory I did forget to mention one thing. In addition to all our useless MacGuyver shit, we also realized that we possibly had in AJ a strain of the most deadly virus known to mankind. So we had that going for us, and that's nice.
Oh yeah, AJ also pointed out that after today our captors would probably decide we weren't infected. At that point, one of two things would happen.
1. We would be welcome into this camp of end of the world survivalists with open arms and be considered their equals!
2. We would be forced into slave labor or rapesville.
3. A variation of number 2, we would get raped while performing slave labor.
As much as I wanted to believe it would be number one, having the guard that morning say, "I've got dibs on you" certainly didn't help my outlook. I believe a young Juliette Lewis in Natural Born Killers expressed our intentions the best when she said, "Kill em all Mickey, KILL EM ALL!"
WWMCGD
You know, sort of like What Would Jesus Do but, replace Jesus with MacGuyver and you get WWMCGD.
So heres the plan we came up with. AJ would use the matches to melt down the boat key holder over the middle of the paper clips. Then, after tieing the string to one end of the paper clip, we would tie the other end to the doorknob. I would knock on the door and get the guard to come check out the commotion. As son as he touched the door handle and began to open the door, AJ would plug in the paper clip into one of the rooms power outlets.
When the guard got zapped, I would grab the gun and then quickly subdue him in our prison. One of us would wear his regular clothes, and one of us would wear his biosuit. We then would act as a guard and escort and breeze out of the facility without anyone being the wiser.
Also, if you think that would have worked you're a fucking idiot. Because it wouldn't. What would happen is, as soon as the paper clip went into the outlet a fuse would blow. Then we would probably be left naked in a room while someone tried to replace a fuse. Either that or they would figure out the bullshit we were up to and shoot us.
Either way we would lose because in real life, MacGuyver nonsense does not work ever.
Yesterday when I listed our inventory I did forget to mention one thing. In addition to all our useless MacGuyver shit, we also realized that we possibly had in AJ a strain of the most deadly virus known to mankind. So we had that going for us, and that's nice.
Oh yeah, AJ also pointed out that after today our captors would probably decide we weren't infected. At that point, one of two things would happen.
1. We would be welcome into this camp of end of the world survivalists with open arms and be considered their equals!
2. We would be forced into slave labor or rapesville.
3. A variation of number 2, we would get raped while performing slave labor.
As much as I wanted to believe it would be number one, having the guard that morning say, "I've got dibs on you" certainly didn't help my outlook. I believe a young Juliette Lewis in Natural Born Killers expressed our intentions the best when she said, "Kill em all Mickey, KILL EM ALL!"
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Day Eighty Two Pt 3:
Day Eighty Two Pt 3:
One razor blade
One pack of matches
One 3 foot length of string
Two paper clips
One very small swiss army knife w/ the usual attachments
That is what AJ and I were left with. Oh right, and a boat key holder covered in body secretions. I probably didn't need to tell you that but I don't want someone to find this journal 100 years from now and be all like "Wait a second! I thought there was a boat key holder! What a fucking liar!"
Additionally, even though there weren't any windows on the door I was pretty sure there was a guard stationed outside since every now and then I would see him walk past the door. Could we have jumped the guard? I don't know, probably. But who knows how many other people were in there. Not to mention, one mistake would result in us being severely shot.
Not just regularly shot. No, severely shot. Which is much worse.
First thing I did was tie the string to the boat key holder and then tie the other end to a vent in the room. That way, until we figured this horrible situation out we could leave our stuff hidden in a vent. I knew watching those Prison Lockup shows would pay off one day.
At some point we were given food that day. But it was just bread and crackers on a paper plater. So I guess I could add a paper plate to the inventory as well.
We spent the night naked, on the floor, waiting to die.
Which is actually quite a bit worse than spending the night in a car waiting to die.
Its strange how comforting clothes are.
And how terrifying life can become without them.
One razor blade
One pack of matches
One 3 foot length of string
Two paper clips
One very small swiss army knife w/ the usual attachments
That is what AJ and I were left with. Oh right, and a boat key holder covered in body secretions. I probably didn't need to tell you that but I don't want someone to find this journal 100 years from now and be all like "Wait a second! I thought there was a boat key holder! What a fucking liar!"
Additionally, even though there weren't any windows on the door I was pretty sure there was a guard stationed outside since every now and then I would see him walk past the door. Could we have jumped the guard? I don't know, probably. But who knows how many other people were in there. Not to mention, one mistake would result in us being severely shot.
Not just regularly shot. No, severely shot. Which is much worse.
First thing I did was tie the string to the boat key holder and then tie the other end to a vent in the room. That way, until we figured this horrible situation out we could leave our stuff hidden in a vent. I knew watching those Prison Lockup shows would pay off one day.
At some point we were given food that day. But it was just bread and crackers on a paper plater. So I guess I could add a paper plate to the inventory as well.
We spent the night naked, on the floor, waiting to die.
Which is actually quite a bit worse than spending the night in a car waiting to die.
Its strange how comforting clothes are.
And how terrifying life can become without them.
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