Day Ninety Five: I wonder what will happen on my Day 100 entry? Will we reach the island off the coast of Florida? Will we all be rescued? Will a vaccine be found? Will a movie star make a cameo appearance and save the day?
You know what is odd? Every movie star, or at least I assume every movie star is now one of those things. And the award for best Ex-hume goes to...
Actually, the Oscars would probably be more entertaining with these beasts. Anything is better than watching the movie no one has ever seen or ever wanted to see win best picture year after year after... oh wait, I guess the Oscars won't be on this year huh? At least this apocalypse has some benefits.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Day Ninety Four:
Day Ninety Four:
Still headed south, hooray for road atlases! I wish I had more to write. We all laughed today about all the shit we used to worry about. Global warming, gas prices, inflation, job stability... OH NO! God we were all so fucking stupid. Save the planet? Go fuck yourself.
I started laughing to the point of tears today when AJ mentioned that every vegan on the planet is now a meat eater. Oh the irony. These days PETA stands for "People Eating Tasty Anything".
Still headed south, hooray for road atlases! I wish I had more to write. We all laughed today about all the shit we used to worry about. Global warming, gas prices, inflation, job stability... OH NO! God we were all so fucking stupid. Save the planet? Go fuck yourself.
I started laughing to the point of tears today when AJ mentioned that every vegan on the planet is now a meat eater. Oh the irony. These days PETA stands for "People Eating Tasty Anything".
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Day Ninety Three:
Day Ninety Three:
We're headed south, cruising along, making a day out of it. Victor driving one very very sterilized car, AJ and I in the other. Got the walkie talkies on, making jokes, pretty much existing like we used to. Everything was going great. Then Victor got a flat tire.
You know how sometimes when you're in the woods you get that feeling that someone or something is watching you? Well, ever since the ex-humes turned into stealthy packs of feral ninjas I have had that feeling. Everywhere we would go I couldn't help but feel like we were being watched, stalked, and sized up.
Today, that suspicion was verified.
Victor let us know he had a flat so we all stopped together. While he quickly put his bio-suit on, AJ and I got out to check the damage. We were outside all of about 25 seconds when we saw them coming towards us.
Except coming towards us is an understatement. Running full throttle, flat out, at 300 miles per hour, with the fires of hell in their blood would be a more accurate description of what we saw. First there were maybe 5 coming out of the trees in the distance, then they were joined by 10 more, and by the time Victor had his suit on we had at least 50 Ex-humes closing in on us.
Before they were even close AJ and I began firing out rifles in an attempt to scare them off. It didn't. They ran at us like that scene in Aliens where the sentry guns aren't able to deter the bugs at all. As they came into range we began dropping one after another after another... but it became quickly apparent that we had about 45 seconds until they would be on top of us.
All of us piled into the good car and took off. We had hoped that they would follow us and then wander back into the woods. Unfortunately by the time we looped back to Victors car it was obliterated. Additionally, the ex-humes we had been damn near stripped of every inch of meat on their bodies.
The lesson?
Time to mount a big ass gun on the roof of our car.
We're headed south, cruising along, making a day out of it. Victor driving one very very sterilized car, AJ and I in the other. Got the walkie talkies on, making jokes, pretty much existing like we used to. Everything was going great. Then Victor got a flat tire.
You know how sometimes when you're in the woods you get that feeling that someone or something is watching you? Well, ever since the ex-humes turned into stealthy packs of feral ninjas I have had that feeling. Everywhere we would go I couldn't help but feel like we were being watched, stalked, and sized up.
Today, that suspicion was verified.
Victor let us know he had a flat so we all stopped together. While he quickly put his bio-suit on, AJ and I got out to check the damage. We were outside all of about 25 seconds when we saw them coming towards us.
Except coming towards us is an understatement. Running full throttle, flat out, at 300 miles per hour, with the fires of hell in their blood would be a more accurate description of what we saw. First there were maybe 5 coming out of the trees in the distance, then they were joined by 10 more, and by the time Victor had his suit on we had at least 50 Ex-humes closing in on us.
Before they were even close AJ and I began firing out rifles in an attempt to scare them off. It didn't. They ran at us like that scene in Aliens where the sentry guns aren't able to deter the bugs at all. As they came into range we began dropping one after another after another... but it became quickly apparent that we had about 45 seconds until they would be on top of us.
All of us piled into the good car and took off. We had hoped that they would follow us and then wander back into the woods. Unfortunately by the time we looped back to Victors car it was obliterated. Additionally, the ex-humes we had been damn near stripped of every inch of meat on their bodies.
The lesson?
Time to mount a big ass gun on the roof of our car.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)