Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Day One Hundred Twenty Eight:

Day One Hundred Twenty Eight:

Of the four cars we found with keys in them, precisely zero of them started. I told Josh we could try pushing one of them to the nearest Pepboys but, he didn't laugh.

So we're still on foot and on the move. At this pace we should reach our final destination in roughly 67,000 years.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Day One Hundred Twenty Seven:

Day One Hundred Twenty Seven:

We taped the entire box of matches with the match head part facing down to the inside of the front door. Taped the match box strike panel for the matches on the ground right behind them. Then we spent at least an hour taping all of the nails to both of the propane tanks. Some were strips with the nails facing out all pointy like, some were flat since... neither of us were really sure how explosion science works.

All that was left was to set the timer on the clock, turn the valve for each propane tank, open the front door a little bit, and run like hell.

We ran as quickly and as quietly as we could for seven minutes and six seconds (get it?) before we heard the explosion. My only regret is that I'll never know how many of them we killed, or stomp on the heads of the ones still alive. But I decided to believe that we got the one that got AJ.

My hope now is that the ones that weren't blown to hell will be too interested in eating their nail fried friends to worry about tracking down the two of us. Hey, maybe some of them will choke to death on the nails! I hadn't thought of that till just now. Here's to hoping.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Day One Hundred Twenty Six:

Day One Hundred Twenty Six:

Josh came up with a plan that might help us escape, while at the same time be a nice send off for AJ.

The main drawback to this plan is, we're going to have to tear ass out of here once the plan is set in motion and then hope to God we are able to track down something edible in the next couple days. Our supplies are meager at best, but it is what it is. We could try the silent approach but, sometimes to quote the late great Kurt Russel, "Son of a bitch must pay".

So tonight will be our last night here. Our plan is as follows:

One old fashioned wind up alarm clock.
One box of strike top matches.
One roll of duct tape.
Three boxes of carpenter nails.
Two propane tanks.
One severely damaged soul that will be laughing the entire time while we run away from a pile of smoldering corpses.

Fuck you Ex-humes. Fuck you very much.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Day One Hundred Twenty Five:

Day One Hundred Twenty Five:

I suggested to Josh that considering our current circumstances, it might make sense to head back to Victor and the safety of the Keys. He looked like he wanted to kill me but eventually was able to swallow his rage and say, 'If we go back, we killed AJ for nothing. Nothing at all". And then he walked as far away from me as he could get in this house.

He is right of course, and I was hoping he would say that but... I couldn't live with myself if something happened to us after all we've been through and his last words were, "I wanted to go back home" or something like that. So now that we are of one mind, it is about time to get this miserable show on the road.

Wish us luck whomever you are.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Day One Hundred Twenty Four:

Day One Hundred Twenty Four:

The bad news, they're still out there.
The good news, they still don't know we're here.
The more bad news, everyday we sit here I become more and more antsy to go fight the ones that are left.

I hate them. Even though they used to be us, I hate them more than I have ever hated anything in my entire life. This seems obvious, but previous to losing AJ I wasn't consumed by this hatred. I didn't like them, sure. But I never really had much in the way of family. So at first it was scary, but it was sort of like being around a stray pack of dogs. I don't hate the dogs, I just acknowledge they are hungry and avoid them.

But now. Now I want to kill them all. I know it isn't possible. I know if I went out there more would show up. And I know that any rash move I make would just probably result in myself and Josh being killed.

But that doesn't change what I feel.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Day One Hundred Twenty Three:

Day One Hundred Twenty Three:

Josh is alive. I wish I could add exclamation points and smiley faces and whatever other emoticons and bullshit we used to use to feign happiness with in the old world but… I am also now certain AJ is dead. And as much as I like Josh, as much as I am thrilled that he is ok... AJ had been with me since the beginning. He had become my best friend and was the only other person that I knew who appeared to be immune like me.

And now he is gone.

I plan to ask Josh about what happened immediately after the blast but, for now the kid is resting and recovering. I can’t believe he survived as long as he did. The fear, dehydration, starvation, everything-vation must have been unbearable. But I got him, and sent about fifty of them back to hell in the process.

Fifty down, infinity to go. Hooray. Smiley Face, Winky eye, Hash Tag Fucked for life.

Right now we are hiding in a larger house that was set behind the one Josh was on top of. This one had been boarded up pretty good so as long as we don’t throw a party we should be ok. After my miniature war, we made it here and as of right now there are a couple hundred more that showed up to eat the dead bodies I served up for them. Hopefully, once they’re full they’ll slither back to wherever nightmares like to spend their off time. In the meantime, I found some canned food squirreled away in here and a little water.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Day One Hundred Twenty Two:

Day One Hundred Twenty Two:

According to this map I am pretty sure we got attacked somewhere around the South East corner of Louisiana near the 445 and highway 12 intersection. I think if Josh and AJ survived, they would have probably ran up Firetower road and wound up in one of the houses around there. Currently I am roughly 3 miles away from where we got attacked. All that fucking work and I only made it three miles. Weird how walking aimlessly through the woods can feel like forever but then turn out to only be 3 worthless miles.

The next street up from Firetower road is Rambo road. No shit, look it up! Haha, I miss the days of Google Maps. Seriously though, Rambo road. And given my current temperament, these ex-hume bastards might regret deciding to attack us between Rambo and Firetower now that I intend to spend the rest of my more than likely incredibly short life slaughtering every last one of those fucks.

If you don't hear from me again please know that I went out with a fight. I don't want to die. I don't intend to die. But given the odds, I wouldn't be surprised if that were the final outcome. So my dear reader, if this is the end... I hope your tomorrow is brighter than mine have been.


Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Day One Hundred Twenty One:

Day One Hundred Twenty One:

There was a time when I would have said that sleeping in a car was the worst night's rest I have ever got. Compared to sleeping in a cold concrete drainage tube though, sleeping in a car was like staying at the Ritz Carlton with my own fleet of butlers and maids and whatever else rich people enjoyed before the world came unhinged.

When I woke up the my head felt a little more clear and my body was a little less weary and that combined with a little bit of luck result in me finding a nice tire iron in the side panel in the back of the car. I thought I had checked pretty good but apparently I was wrong.

So now I am sitting inside a little house that for once doesn't contain the mummified remains of whomever was living here previous to me. Sort of weird that they would barricade themselves in only to leave in the end. Oh well, I will just add that to the never ending pile in my mind titled "Eternal Unsolved Mysteries".

Most of the food in the cabinets turned to gross a long time ago but some of the canned stuff still seemed safe. That, plus a map of the local area and suddenly I started to feel like maybe my luck was changing. Then I remembered that my friends were dead and my life has absolutely no meaning and now I am going to end this little entry wishing I had found a bottle of alcohol and some Prozac instead of some food and a map. What a world.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Day One Hundred Twenty:

Day One Hundred Twenty:

After walking/running/skulking all day yesterday, I came across a house today. Nothing special, probably just someone's hunting cabin but any shelter = no wind at night = the first good thing to happen to me in a while.

The problem though was that the door was barricaded shut. Which wouldn't have been that much of a problem but, the windows were also barricaded shut. When I walked around the back to see if I could find a way in I found a car with no keys and unlike every other survivor in the history of an abandoned world... I still don't know how to hotwire a car so who knows if it still ran or not.

Anyway, the back was zipped up as tight as the front. Might have been able to open up one of the windows with a heavy rock or a few shots from my one of my guns but... doesn't make much sense to spend all that time sneaking through the woods just so that I could fire up a flare and lay myself out on a dinner table for those bastards that were still probably tracking me.

So I got up on the roof and checked the chimney. But with my luck I would have wound up getting stuck in a stupid chimney and slowly starving or choking to death. So after much deliberation I gave up operation Santa Claus and went back to trying to find a real way into the house.

After several hours of failure I wound up sleeping in the car. I suck.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Day One Hundred Nineteen:

Day One Hundred Nineteen:

The thing about situations like this is the person telling the story rarely has any real life problems. So you know the person is scared, and running for their life. And you know that they are formulating plans and moving forward towards some goal.

But what you rarely see, what is almost never portrayed is the absolute fucking misery of being stuck in the wilderness if you aren't some type of military trained survivalist. Actually no, I take that back. Because even if you are some type of John Rambo survivalist it is still probably miserable, just maybe a little less so.

Like going to the bathroom. I know, I should be focusing on the fact that something might come out of the woods and devour me but I can't spend 24 hours a day being afraid. So now that I am taking a break to write this I want to talk about going to the bathroom.

Not only is it just awkward to squat down in the woods, but do you know what it feels like to be squatted down with your pants around your ankles and then a squirrel breaks a branch somewhere behind you? It feels like the end of the world. Because in your mind, that isn't a squirrel. In your mind, that is death itself frothing at the mouth with drool running down its chin. So you turn, mid excretion and fall over.

So now, not only are you alone, lost, tired, miserable, and depressed... but you have shit on yourself. And if there is one thing that destroys any last shred of morale you might have... it is shit. If it wasn't for my strange desire to continue writing in this journal I probably would have shot myself immediately after that happened.

Fortunately I can change into some other clothes since I have some in my backpack except, oh wait... no I don't. On the plus side, if I do get eaten at least I won't be tasty.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Day One Hundred Eighteen:

Day One Hundred Eighteen:

I ran. Thank God it isn't freezing cold out yet or I am sure I would be dead by now. Not from the Ex-humes, just from running in soaking wet clothes in the cold. I don't know where I am, and I don't intend to start a fire so for now I am just following this stream and hoping it stays above 50 at night. Still haven't decided what to do next.

There are three different choices, all pulling equally hard in their own respective direction. Choice one involves going back to the town and regardless of what happens, avenging Josh and AJ and possibly save one or both of them on the insanely improbable chance that either of them are still alive.

Choice two involves turning around and heading back to the Keys. To safety. To Victor. To where we should have fucking stayed to begin with. Why did I agree to this? What the fuck was wrong with me?

And choice three. Well, choice three is me continuing forward to our or, I guess now it is just my mystery destination. My way of making sure Josh and AJ didn't maybe die for nothing. Except what if I get there and it is a smoking hole in the ground. Or worse yet, just another abandoned building filled with skeletons and blood trails?

Fuck. I don't know. And I also don't know why the fuck I am making life decisions when I am lost in the woods following a stream that will probably lead me into a nest of death. Maybe after this I can figure out where I should invest all the money in the world that no longer matters to anyone. Yeah, I will get right on that.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Day One Hundred Seventeen:

Day One Hundred Seventeen:

I ran or rather, duck walked for hours through the tubes. My legs went from being tired, to being wobbly jelly, to where I had to use my arms to lift my legs to keep moving, to collapsed and resting in the tube for extended periods of time before forcing myself to continue moving.

After several hours of this I stopped for an actual rest and did a quick count of my supplies. Maybe enough water to last three days. Food for a week if I stretch it. 200 pistol rounds and about the same for my rifle which sounds like a lot and if I had time to make each shot count maybe it would be but figure 5 rounds at least to stop each Ex-Hume and all of a sudden those 400 rounds work out to about 80 dead monsters if I'm lucky.

I've come to grips with the fact that Josh and Aj have to be dead. I was holding out hope and convinced myself that if I got out of here I would lead the charge back there but... those things were able to get to me somehow, and I am buried 15 feet underground in a concrete tube. Not to mention in the days since I have been down here I never heard any additional gun shots or anything. Unless Josh was able to run to a concrete bomb shelter or something, and teleport Aj to it immediately... they're gone.

And since this tube just exited into a small stream in the middle of who fucking knows where... chances are I will be gone soon too. If not, wish me luck. If so, see you soon Aj and Josh.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Day One Hundred Sixteen:

Day One Hundred Sixteen:

They nearly got me while I slept. I woke up to the sound of creeping nightmares snarling and growling and almost right on top of me before I knew what was happening. Fortunately, I was sleeping with my rifle underneath me. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to put in my ear protection and as of right now I am not sure if I will ever be able to hear normal again.

I remember screaming while I shot. Whether this was from grief, terror, or the sheer pain of gunshots reverberating inside a small tube I don't know. But I screamed the entire time as one after the other after the other died in front of me. The only light I had was the flash from my gun at first. Strobe light death. The ones behind tried to crawl over the dead or dying ones in front and before long, the entire tube was blocked with bleeding bodies.

When I was pretty sure I had a little breathing room I turned on my light and put a bullet through the head of one of them trying to force his way through on top. It only took me seconds to gather my supplies but before I left I could tell that the sounds of snarls had switched to the sounds of teeth ripping flesh. Why chase after me when you can make a meal out of your fallen monsters?

On the move, to where I don't know. At least I know which direction to head now since, my only other choice is now a death trap.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Day One Hundred Fifteen:

Day One Hundred Fifteen:

I lifted the manhole cover up only for a fraction of a second. Just long enough for me to see them running towards it and drop it closed again.

Back to square one.

Except, square one is now a different type of square because unless I'm mistaken, they might have made it into these tubes somehow. Sound is weird down here so I can't say for sure but, I think I can hear them trying to find me.

Good.

Fuck em.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Day One Hundred Fourteen:

Day One Hundred Fourteen:

Another day another 24 hours of misery and regret. Yesterday I walked the tunnels out a little bit, tried to make it back where I entered at. Think I was successful but I'm not 100% sure. Started making something of a map in my head and tomorrow I am going to have a look around up top even if that means the end of everything. Two days down here has depleted my rations pretty bad, and if I know those monsters they probably didn't leave any of our supplies uneaten. Hopefully they're too dumb to fuck with the guns though because if I make it out of here, I think it is about to be hunting season.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Day One Hundred Thirteen:

Day One Hundred Thirteen:

I've been down here for a day, listening. Every now and then I hear sounds, but more and more they sound like they are getting farther away. Hard to tell though since, I don't know where these tubes exit out and sound travels weird in a tunnel.

I should have helped him. He would have helped me. I don't deserve to live through this.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Day One Hundred Twelve - I don't know:

Day One Hundred Twelve - I don't know:

They're dead. They have to be. I don't know how the fuck I am still alive or for how long but on the off chance that someone made it this far into the story I figured I owed you at least this update.

We made it to Mississippi, maybe Louisiana... I don't know. We weren't really paying that much attention to the road signs, we were just excited to be moving west. I was driving a car full of supplies with Josh and Aj was driving the car full of extra fuel. As for Victor... he stayed behind. We tried to convince him to go with us but, he said he was sick of the whole Bio-Hazard routine and maybe he could help others if they made it to the Naval Station. I told him we were safer together, he told me we were safe where we already were.

He was right. We were all wrong. We underestimated the Ex-humes. We thought they were dumb animals, but they were more. Just waiting for the right time and when they attacked it was brutal.

I'm getting ahead of myself but, I wanted you to know what happened in case I don't finish writing this. I am in some type of drainage or sewage tube right now, I think I made it pretty far down here but for all I know I walked in a circle and once I decide to make a break for it, I might pop out five feet from where we were ambushed. For all I know they already found their way in here and are crawling towards me as I speak.

And I have no doubt about it, we were ambushed. There is no way that so many could have been there that quick. They either saw other vehicles get fucked up where we did, and then pushed the vehicles out of the road... or they set the trap themselves and just waited. Either way, the implications are bad for humanity.

So we drove, and somewhere near the Mississippi/Louisiana state line we ran into trouble. Or rather, we ran over trouble. We never had time to go back and check but I think we probably hit either sharp metal that was covered up, or a spike strip. Whatever it was it destroyed our tires and before we could warn Aj, he blew all four as well.

Almost immediately after shredding our tires we saw a swarm moving towards us. How many there were I don't know. Lets just say a lot. Enough that I knew we would run out of bullets before they ran out of bodies, and we had several thousand rounds of all different types of ammo. So instead, we tried to outrun them. But a car with no tires isn't exactly your best bet when making a fast get away.

It was enough to get us off the freeway we were on, down the off ramp, and into some podunk town before we decided we would be able to move faster on foot. The Ex-humes were closing in by then, their feet had begun to sound like thunder and I put our life expectancy at about 35 seconds. While I had been focused on driving, Josh had managed to grab a backpack and weapon for both of us. Immediately after coming to a stop I jumped out and saw Aj running for his life. His car was parked about 50 yards behind ours and after running half way to us he stopped and yelled "RUN!"

I didn't understand but Josh did, he started to pull me but I didn't move. He said, "We gotta go, NOW!" because apparently he had noticed the grenade in Aj's hand. I just kept watching, sometimes it is hard to look away when your world is coming to an end so instead of pulling me with him like would probably happen in the movies, Josh left me. I don't know how long it was, probably seconds but it felt like hours and then the ex-humes were at Aj's car right about the same time as his grenade rolled underneath it.

When he turned I could see the surprise in his eyes that I was still there. Seconds later I was lying on the ground wondering what had happened. My brain reorganized itself as I realized over a hundred gallons of gasoline had just made short work of the front line of the ex-hume army. Unfortunately there were a couple thousand more rushing towards us.

I want to say I ran to help Aj, I want that more than anything. I want to say I tried and found him dead, or he told me to run a different way, or something. But the reality is I noticed I was lying next to a manhole cover that I was able to pry up with the end of my rifle. Then I tossed my back pack in and without thinking I was inside it and already climbing down into filth before I even thought about Aj. At the bottom I remembered and by the time I climbed up to the sewer cover I could hear an unknown amount of their feet plodding across it directly above me.

So here I am, in a concrete tube expecting to die soon. Could Josh still be alive? Yes. Maybe he made it to one of the buildings and  is holed up somewhere. But odds are the feet I heard above me were running him down. Could Aj still be alive? If he had a better friend maybe, but since I am a complete shit no. I left him to die and now I get to die here or, up there.

Ok, I've wasted more than enough battery power to write this and on the off chance that I figure out a way out of here, I might regret that. But I just wanted to make sure that if someone found this, you knew what an asshole I was. I'm sorry Aj. I'm sorry Josh. We should have listened to Victor.


Thursday, March 29, 2012

Day One Hundred Eleven:

Day One Hundred Eleven:

I know, sort of a joke that I am still referring to this journal on a day by day basis right? I honestly have no idea how many days have passed since my last entry or why I haven't felt like writing. Maybe because when shit is boring, I don't care. And when I don't care, I figure that you don't care. If there even is a you.

Everything gets too complicated when I try to think about why I am doing this. So instead I won't, I will just let you know that Josh figured it out. Or at least, figured out where he thinks those coordinates will take us. Somewhere in California called Live Oak. On the plus side, it has the word "Live" in the title. Maybe the government created some super secret shelter there simply because it had that name.

But, and this is a big fucking but. It is clear across the country. Fortunately we aren't in the movie version of an apocalypse since then the roads would be jam packed with cars. But on the negative side, even though it is probably only a three or four day drive back in the old world, that is now a three or four day drive, through unknown terrain, where you can't exactly pull into a Holiday Inn and feel safe, and where there could be a million monsters just waiting for you to slip up.

So now we have to decide what is next. I don't know why we have to decide though. We already all know we are going to go for it. I guess now, now we are just trying to pick a day so that we will actually have the guts to carry through with going back out there. If you are out there, if you are reading this... God I hope I get to enter another ten days in this stupid thing.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Day One Hundred Ten:

Day One Hundred Ten:

I don’t like this. I know I should. I should love the fact that I don’t have to look over my shoulder every day to make sure that some deranged monster isn’t going to try to destroy me. I know I should love being able to let my hair down and relax.

But I don’t.

I think this level of comfort, this complacency is more dangerous than any ex-hume we have crossed so far. It is amazing how quickly the mind can trick itself into feeling “safe” and the defenses it will drop or forget about as a result. Used to be we would all only travel in pairs, with loaded weapons, in a fucking tank. Maybe not the tank part, but close enough.

Now, well now everyone thinks that because we haven’t seen any ex-humes in a while, that they must not exist. But they do. Millions upon millions upon millions of them do exist and they are breeding and possibly learning. Learning what? Maybe learning to swim their evil bodies over to our little sanctuary and rip us to pieces, who knows?

Josh is trying to figure out coordinates, Aj is off making himself a margarita or something, and Victor is busy doing whatever it is that Victor does… I am cleaning my guns, watching the shore, and getting ready. Ready for what? Exactly.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Day One Hundred Nine:

Day One Hundred Nine:


Here’s the thing, I wouldn’t know how to find latitude and longitude coordinates before this whole end of the world thing happened, so I wasn’t able to give any real suggestions for how we could go about figuring it out now. Funny how if you take Google Search away you almost instantly have an entire country full of idiots.

Or almost. AJ and Victor apparently received real educations since both of them suggested Josh look for a world atlas in the library along with anything related to how to work with latitude and longitude. From there they figured once he had that, he could narrow it down and start trying to find either a state or country map My suggestion would have been to see if the government had somehow managed to download the entire internet before this disaster happened, and then run a search on it.

Everyone laughed and then Josh asked if Google Earth would work even without the internet? Before I answer that question, allow me to take this moment to say that apparently this entry is brought to you by Google.

After about an hour of trying to get a computer to load up that had Google Earth on it, we were saddened a little to find out that no, it doesn’t work very well at all. Stupid internet.

So while Josh is out scouring the Naval Bases library, we are all busy doing important things like… playing darts, and setting up bowling pins in the middle of the street and engaging in a rousing game of street bowling. Of course street bowling invariably ends up with us throwing bowling balls through the windshields of abandoned cars.

Why?

Why not?