Day Eighty Two Pt. 2:
Where were we? Oh right, me walking up the road with AJ next to me while a boat key holder was shoved up inside me. Awesome!
We didn’t make it far before a spotlight from the building lit us up and men in gas masks with guns trained on us began shouting orders. If you ever saw the movie 28 Days Later, it was sort of like that. If you haven’t seen the movie it doesn’t matter since you are probably already dead like everyone else. Drumroll please.
We did as we were told. AJ and I put the guns we had in our waistband on the ground. We decided to bring some handguns because how else would we have made it this far? Our hope was that they would believe that we had been surviving on foot and not go looking to hard for our car which was hidden just off the road.
When we got close to the building, we were instructed to lie down flat on the ground with our hands spread out. We did this and waited for them to handcuff us and secure us to a bench. I tried to tell them there was no need for this, that we were friends, that we meant them no harm.
They told us that we could be scouts for a larger raiding party.
I asked if they had been having problems with that sort of thing to which I received no answer but knew that it meant no. It meant that someone had watched Mad Max one too many times and was being extremely paranoid.
We were stripped naked and thrown into a very serious looking room. Not a prison since it wasn’t a jail but, lets just say that it was fairly inescapable. On the plus side, there was a make shift toilet bucket. On the negative side, I was fairly certain they were going to kill us.
Eventually someone came to talk to us but, not much was accomplished. They wanted to know where our car was, we said there wasn’t one, they called us liars, we called them crazy. And so on and so on. Eventually I asked for a blanket but, I could tell they were getting off on their home brewed version of Guantanamo Bay or however it is spelled so I didn’t hold my breath waiting for one.
I asked how long they were going to keep us there, and they laughed. Something in that laugh let AJ and I know that we were both as good as dead.
Thank God for my body cavity surprise package. Thank God for Aj’s foresight. And while I am at it, Fuck God for making all this bullshit happen in the first place and making me have to stick a fucking boat key holder inside me. Yeah God, you’re not getting off that easy any more.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Day Eighty Two:
Day Eighty Two:
Actually this is sort of days Eighty two/three/four/five/six and might be up to day eighty eight but for the sake of continuity we will say that AJ and I were imprisoned for five days before we escaped. So what went wrong?
Fucking smoke signal wasn’t a smoke signal.
It wasn’t a “Hey friends, come on down”
It was an accident and in no way shape or form was meant to be a beacon of hope or salvation.
Remember earlier when we were worried about Arnold being a slaver/rapist? Well, what we found wasn’t that bad but, it looked like it was headed in the right direction. Actually I guess it would make more sense to say those fucks were headed in the wrong direction but you get what I mean.
I’m getting to far ahead of myself so let me go back to Day Eighty Two for a second and focus on that. We waited all morning to see the smoke again and sometime around 2 or 3 PM it showed up. Later we found out it wasn’t a signal, just lunch. But regardless of that, we drove towards it.
Around 4 PM we got close enough that we could see a house, and PEOPLE! Or at least, we saw figures moving inside the house that were a little hard to make out but Oh my God, we were so excited to see more people. I almost jumped out of the car and went running towards them but thankfully, AJ despite our excitement is always a little more apprehensive.
Its like, where I see a flower, he sees a poisonous plant. Where I see a beautiful bird, he sees Bird Flu. For everything Positive in this world you can bet that AJ has figured out what the Negative aspects are. And thank God for that, because if he hadn’t we would either be dead or worse.
Yes, worse.
Like I was saying, I wanted to go running forward and start the parade but AJ held us back. He suggested that we conceal some supplies or weapons. I told him we already were and he said “No, not in our pockets, in us”.
Whoa there buddy. It’s one thing to carry a gun, but to shove a gun inside yourself might hurt a little. So I was pretty hesitant at first.
Eventually he showed me some spongy case that was shaped like a big oval. I think boaters use them so they don’t lose their keys? Not sure, but anyway it opened and inside you could fit a small amount of stuff. So although a gun was out of the picture, a razor blade, matches, string, and maybe a little more would fit just fine.
Sooooo we had a case, what we didn’t have was a willing participant to shove a fairly unusual object up inside of them. What it basically came down to was, either one of us do that or… one of us hide in the bushes with weapons and supplies while the other drives towards the encampment.
Either become the poor man’s Bear Gryllis or… ew.
We debated this for a while. I tried my best to convince him that these were normal people just like us. He agreed, but also point out that he would rather be safe than sorry. I told him that he should be the one to, well, gross. He said that we wouldn’t do that because of his religion.
Even in the apocalypse afterworld, the religion trump card never ever fails.
So either I would get to be uncomfortable for a few seconds, or possibly spend the night in the woods. His reasoning was, if they turn out to be hunky-dory (He actually said this, I might not remember everything but I remember that) then I could just go to the bathroom and remove our little security blanket. So we would be looking, wait no… so I with a capital ME would be looking at most of like 10 minutes of discomfort.
Otherwise, if one of us stayed in the woods that might look real suspicious should they turn out to be friendly. Oh hello, we mean you no harm. What’s that? Oh yes, that is my friend camped out in the woods with a high powered sniper rifle aimed at your forehead. No, don’t be ridiculous, we are friends!
See the dilemma?
Well, after a thorough cleaning I am ashamed to say in it went. Please don’t think any less of your narrator.
I think this is an appropriate time to take a break from writing in this thing. If you can believe it, everything goes down hill from here.
Actually this is sort of days Eighty two/three/four/five/six and might be up to day eighty eight but for the sake of continuity we will say that AJ and I were imprisoned for five days before we escaped. So what went wrong?
Fucking smoke signal wasn’t a smoke signal.
It wasn’t a “Hey friends, come on down”
It was an accident and in no way shape or form was meant to be a beacon of hope or salvation.
Remember earlier when we were worried about Arnold being a slaver/rapist? Well, what we found wasn’t that bad but, it looked like it was headed in the right direction. Actually I guess it would make more sense to say those fucks were headed in the wrong direction but you get what I mean.
I’m getting to far ahead of myself so let me go back to Day Eighty Two for a second and focus on that. We waited all morning to see the smoke again and sometime around 2 or 3 PM it showed up. Later we found out it wasn’t a signal, just lunch. But regardless of that, we drove towards it.
Around 4 PM we got close enough that we could see a house, and PEOPLE! Or at least, we saw figures moving inside the house that were a little hard to make out but Oh my God, we were so excited to see more people. I almost jumped out of the car and went running towards them but thankfully, AJ despite our excitement is always a little more apprehensive.
Its like, where I see a flower, he sees a poisonous plant. Where I see a beautiful bird, he sees Bird Flu. For everything Positive in this world you can bet that AJ has figured out what the Negative aspects are. And thank God for that, because if he hadn’t we would either be dead or worse.
Yes, worse.
Like I was saying, I wanted to go running forward and start the parade but AJ held us back. He suggested that we conceal some supplies or weapons. I told him we already were and he said “No, not in our pockets, in us”.
Whoa there buddy. It’s one thing to carry a gun, but to shove a gun inside yourself might hurt a little. So I was pretty hesitant at first.
Eventually he showed me some spongy case that was shaped like a big oval. I think boaters use them so they don’t lose their keys? Not sure, but anyway it opened and inside you could fit a small amount of stuff. So although a gun was out of the picture, a razor blade, matches, string, and maybe a little more would fit just fine.
Sooooo we had a case, what we didn’t have was a willing participant to shove a fairly unusual object up inside of them. What it basically came down to was, either one of us do that or… one of us hide in the bushes with weapons and supplies while the other drives towards the encampment.
Either become the poor man’s Bear Gryllis or… ew.
We debated this for a while. I tried my best to convince him that these were normal people just like us. He agreed, but also point out that he would rather be safe than sorry. I told him that he should be the one to, well, gross. He said that we wouldn’t do that because of his religion.
Even in the apocalypse afterworld, the religion trump card never ever fails.
So either I would get to be uncomfortable for a few seconds, or possibly spend the night in the woods. His reasoning was, if they turn out to be hunky-dory (He actually said this, I might not remember everything but I remember that) then I could just go to the bathroom and remove our little security blanket. So we would be looking, wait no… so I with a capital ME would be looking at most of like 10 minutes of discomfort.
Otherwise, if one of us stayed in the woods that might look real suspicious should they turn out to be friendly. Oh hello, we mean you no harm. What’s that? Oh yes, that is my friend camped out in the woods with a high powered sniper rifle aimed at your forehead. No, don’t be ridiculous, we are friends!
See the dilemma?
Well, after a thorough cleaning I am ashamed to say in it went. Please don’t think any less of your narrator.
I think this is an appropriate time to take a break from writing in this thing. If you can believe it, everything goes down hill from here.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Day Eighty One:
Day Eighty One:
Remember when people used to say "Where there's smoke there's fire"?
Fucking hated when they would say that. So I guess having a mass population extinction does have its upside. However, the reason I am bringing it up is because today we saw a fine line of smoke in the distance. And where there's smoke... no, not fire. But people.
It doesn't look like a raging forest fire so much as a lets eat some woodland creatures fire. And that is probably the best kind of fire. So we have begun angling towards it. After a while the smoke disappeared so we drove as far as we could without feeling like we wouldn't be able to see the smoke tomorrow.
So now we wait through the night. Tomorrow we make friends.
Remember when people used to say "Where there's smoke there's fire"?
Fucking hated when they would say that. So I guess having a mass population extinction does have its upside. However, the reason I am bringing it up is because today we saw a fine line of smoke in the distance. And where there's smoke... no, not fire. But people.
It doesn't look like a raging forest fire so much as a lets eat some woodland creatures fire. And that is probably the best kind of fire. So we have begun angling towards it. After a while the smoke disappeared so we drove as far as we could without feeling like we wouldn't be able to see the smoke tomorrow.
So now we wait through the night. Tomorrow we make friends.
Day Eighty:
Day Eighty:
Drive drive drive some more. I wanted to do this why? Oh right, to make contact with a population that has vanished. Smart.
Reminds me of when I was a kid and my family took a road trip that unfortunately passed through Iowa. You know what’s in Iowa? 3 houses, 5 trees, and corn. Miles upon endless mile of fertile yellow boredom. Well guess what? Planet Earth might as well change its name to Iowa because there is nothing stacked upon heaping mounds of nothing out here.
Sure, there are relics. Everything is now a relic. A billboard relic that will probably have torn off by this time next year, building relics, car relics, but without life connecting them to a predetermined value they are nothing. Junk would probably be a better word. Hey all you people that fought about a religion before this happened, I hope you are all happy to know that your God turned the entire fucking planet into an Iowa junkyard.
Fantastic.
Anyway, AJ thinks we should consider boats. Maybe try to hit up an island, see if maybe people survived there. Problem is, AJ got bit. So lets say we make it to said island. We will look like real assholes if AJ turns out to be the smallpox infected blanket won't we?
Still no ex-humes. Some threat huh? We went from being terrified of these things to, driving around the countryside hoping one will attack just so it will break up the monotony of this boredom.
Drive drive drive some more. I wanted to do this why? Oh right, to make contact with a population that has vanished. Smart.
Reminds me of when I was a kid and my family took a road trip that unfortunately passed through Iowa. You know what’s in Iowa? 3 houses, 5 trees, and corn. Miles upon endless mile of fertile yellow boredom. Well guess what? Planet Earth might as well change its name to Iowa because there is nothing stacked upon heaping mounds of nothing out here.
Sure, there are relics. Everything is now a relic. A billboard relic that will probably have torn off by this time next year, building relics, car relics, but without life connecting them to a predetermined value they are nothing. Junk would probably be a better word. Hey all you people that fought about a religion before this happened, I hope you are all happy to know that your God turned the entire fucking planet into an Iowa junkyard.
Fantastic.
Anyway, AJ thinks we should consider boats. Maybe try to hit up an island, see if maybe people survived there. Problem is, AJ got bit. So lets say we make it to said island. We will look like real assholes if AJ turns out to be the smallpox infected blanket won't we?
Still no ex-humes. Some threat huh? We went from being terrified of these things to, driving around the countryside hoping one will attack just so it will break up the monotony of this boredom.
Day Seventy Nine:
Day Seventy Nine:
On the road again... Something something something the road again!
So after much deliberation, hemming and hawing, checking and rechecking and checking again. AJ and I are finally on the damn road. Two vehicles, each rigged up with multiple walkie talkies, loads of gas, loads of spare tires, a plethora of guns, food, water, armor plating or at least... metal plating. Is metal considered armor?
I know it protects us but, it isn't like we have tank cars. We have Home Depot cars, not quite as cool but it works.
Our first night we slept in the cars, left the walkie talkies on like baby monitors for each other. During the night I couldn't see them, but I know the ex-humes are watching us. How? I don't know. I waited and waited for one of them to try to crack our cars open like a nut but nothing all night long.
So forward we go, or maybe sideways. All I know is we are moving and it feels good.
On the road again... Something something something the road again!
So after much deliberation, hemming and hawing, checking and rechecking and checking again. AJ and I are finally on the damn road. Two vehicles, each rigged up with multiple walkie talkies, loads of gas, loads of spare tires, a plethora of guns, food, water, armor plating or at least... metal plating. Is metal considered armor?
I know it protects us but, it isn't like we have tank cars. We have Home Depot cars, not quite as cool but it works.
Our first night we slept in the cars, left the walkie talkies on like baby monitors for each other. During the night I couldn't see them, but I know the ex-humes are watching us. How? I don't know. I waited and waited for one of them to try to crack our cars open like a nut but nothing all night long.
So forward we go, or maybe sideways. All I know is we are moving and it feels good.
Day Seventy Eight:
Day Seventy Eight:
I put off waiting as long as I could. I kept hoping that if I gave him enough time, AJ would decide to go with me. Problem is, waiting a minute turns into an hour. Then the hour becomes a day. And before you know it, you're in a wheelchair fighting off mutated humans with a cane.
No thanks.
I loaded up the vehicle, packed all the supplies I could think of and just as I was about to make a go of it... AJ came running out shouting "NO WAIT, WAIT!"
Of course, I waited. He agreed to go but, he pleaded with me to wait a few more days. At first I was hesitant but he explained that with a few days of leg work we could plan our routes, back-up routes in case the original routes were blocked, and back-up routes for the back-up routes along with as many contingency plans as we could think of in case the unexpected happened.
Which we have learned, it seems to do more and more these days.
He pointed out to me that I hadn't even thought of first locating some sort of road atlas which would be extremely useful once we left our immediate surroundings.
Despite how anxious I was to leave, I can confidently say that it feels good to be able to spend a few more days at home. Because now at least we seem to be putting a dot on a map. Having a goal is a beautiful thing, even if that goal is something as simple as point A to point B.
I put off waiting as long as I could. I kept hoping that if I gave him enough time, AJ would decide to go with me. Problem is, waiting a minute turns into an hour. Then the hour becomes a day. And before you know it, you're in a wheelchair fighting off mutated humans with a cane.
No thanks.
I loaded up the vehicle, packed all the supplies I could think of and just as I was about to make a go of it... AJ came running out shouting "NO WAIT, WAIT!"
Of course, I waited. He agreed to go but, he pleaded with me to wait a few more days. At first I was hesitant but he explained that with a few days of leg work we could plan our routes, back-up routes in case the original routes were blocked, and back-up routes for the back-up routes along with as many contingency plans as we could think of in case the unexpected happened.
Which we have learned, it seems to do more and more these days.
He pointed out to me that I hadn't even thought of first locating some sort of road atlas which would be extremely useful once we left our immediate surroundings.
Despite how anxious I was to leave, I can confidently say that it feels good to be able to spend a few more days at home. Because now at least we seem to be putting a dot on a map. Having a goal is a beautiful thing, even if that goal is something as simple as point A to point B.
Day Seventy Seven:
Day Seventy Seven:
Jesus... Arnold is dead.
The fire came out of the West while we were all asleep. Before we even knew it was there it was burning down the houses down the street and moving rapidly towards us. We did what we could with the time we had. Fortunately we already had the car loaded up for the next day, but if we hadn't...
I don't want to think about what would have happened if we hadn't.
I don't want to think about this as it is.
We loaded up what we could and left, with enough food and supplies to last for the next couple years going up in flames.
We drove to our back up location in the East since, Arnold had suggested we pick out and fortify some alternative locations just in case of some disaster. We pulled in, locked up, and felt like the worst was behind us. Then, Arnold had a fucking heart attack.
I almost wish the things had got him. Then at least I would have a way to vent this anger/depression that is coursing through every inch of my body.
We escaped, we did everything right. Everything except bring some nitroglycerin pills or whatever the fuck you are supposed to give to someone when they are dying in front of you. Instead, we just stared at him and I don't know, tried to make his awful death better?
We would have buried him except, on several different occasions we had all watched as ex-humes dug up the ground only to pull out some mangled corpse from a coffin or animal that was buried there. In this future, everyone is either cremated or leftovers. Did I write about this before? I don't remember, everything is cloudy right now.
Arnold talked about sailing as a kid so we decided to give him a Viking funeral at a nearby lake. Whether or not that’s what he wanted I don't have any fucking clue. What he probably wanted was to not die from a heart attack. What he probably wanted was for us to be able to call 9-1-1 and not only have someone answer, but send us a doctor that wasn't a God Damn monster.
What has this taught me? That just surviving isn't working. I wouldn't behave this way in my normal boring life, so why in a crisis when the world needs more "real" people than ever to form a collection are we all hiding and waiting for an invisible authority to save us?
I don't know. Arnold probably would, but he's dead. And AJ just seems like he blew a fuse. Its one thing to know that there are horrible mutated humans waiting to rip out your intestines. Its another to know that even if you have the strength, intelligence, and resolve to defend yourselves against them... you still might lose because you ate to many doughnuts, or didn't properly clean out a minor cut, or just came down with a slight case of the God hates yous.
We are alive, but if we don't make an effort to move forward we are just as fucked as those miserable ex-humes. I will give AJ a week to grieve, but after that week I am moving on. If he wants to stay put, so be it. But Arnold's death has reminded me that I am still here, and I refuse to waste that anymore.
Jesus... Arnold is dead.
The fire came out of the West while we were all asleep. Before we even knew it was there it was burning down the houses down the street and moving rapidly towards us. We did what we could with the time we had. Fortunately we already had the car loaded up for the next day, but if we hadn't...
I don't want to think about what would have happened if we hadn't.
I don't want to think about this as it is.
We loaded up what we could and left, with enough food and supplies to last for the next couple years going up in flames.
We drove to our back up location in the East since, Arnold had suggested we pick out and fortify some alternative locations just in case of some disaster. We pulled in, locked up, and felt like the worst was behind us. Then, Arnold had a fucking heart attack.
I almost wish the things had got him. Then at least I would have a way to vent this anger/depression that is coursing through every inch of my body.
We escaped, we did everything right. Everything except bring some nitroglycerin pills or whatever the fuck you are supposed to give to someone when they are dying in front of you. Instead, we just stared at him and I don't know, tried to make his awful death better?
We would have buried him except, on several different occasions we had all watched as ex-humes dug up the ground only to pull out some mangled corpse from a coffin or animal that was buried there. In this future, everyone is either cremated or leftovers. Did I write about this before? I don't remember, everything is cloudy right now.
Arnold talked about sailing as a kid so we decided to give him a Viking funeral at a nearby lake. Whether or not that’s what he wanted I don't have any fucking clue. What he probably wanted was to not die from a heart attack. What he probably wanted was for us to be able to call 9-1-1 and not only have someone answer, but send us a doctor that wasn't a God Damn monster.
What has this taught me? That just surviving isn't working. I wouldn't behave this way in my normal boring life, so why in a crisis when the world needs more "real" people than ever to form a collection are we all hiding and waiting for an invisible authority to save us?
I don't know. Arnold probably would, but he's dead. And AJ just seems like he blew a fuse. Its one thing to know that there are horrible mutated humans waiting to rip out your intestines. Its another to know that even if you have the strength, intelligence, and resolve to defend yourselves against them... you still might lose because you ate to many doughnuts, or didn't properly clean out a minor cut, or just came down with a slight case of the God hates yous.
We are alive, but if we don't make an effort to move forward we are just as fucked as those miserable ex-humes. I will give AJ a week to grieve, but after that week I am moving on. If he wants to stay put, so be it. But Arnold's death has reminded me that I am still here, and I refuse to waste that anymore.
Day Seventy Six:
Day Seventy Six:
We have been trying for days now to capture an ex-hume so we could all sit back, make some popcorn and watch this weeks latest installment of ex-humes gone wild! But despite numerous ideas and attempts to catch another one, every attempt has been met with failure.
Christ, as recent as two weeks ago it seems like you could just tie a needle filled with tranquilizer to a stick, push the stick out the window and you would have one sleepy time monster. But now, I don't know. Fresh meat in the road didn't work, screams didn't work, AJ even put a beer out there just in case but nothing. Nothing at all.
What we need is one of those shark cages that they used to use to film great white sharks. Just put me in the middle of the street with a tranquilizer gun, then have AJ and Arnold shoot every other ex-hume that won't back away. Problem solved.
But even then, I think they are learning. And they know that although they have superiority in numbers, we have the power of thought. More as it develops.
We have been trying for days now to capture an ex-hume so we could all sit back, make some popcorn and watch this weeks latest installment of ex-humes gone wild! But despite numerous ideas and attempts to catch another one, every attempt has been met with failure.
Christ, as recent as two weeks ago it seems like you could just tie a needle filled with tranquilizer to a stick, push the stick out the window and you would have one sleepy time monster. But now, I don't know. Fresh meat in the road didn't work, screams didn't work, AJ even put a beer out there just in case but nothing. Nothing at all.
What we need is one of those shark cages that they used to use to film great white sharks. Just put me in the middle of the street with a tranquilizer gun, then have AJ and Arnold shoot every other ex-hume that won't back away. Problem solved.
But even then, I think they are learning. And they know that although they have superiority in numbers, we have the power of thought. More as it develops.
Day Seventy Five:
Day Seventy Five:
Holy shit, listen to this. AJ might have had the best idea that anyone has had in the last year. No, he didn't figure out a cure. That would be way more amazing actually. But, what he suggested is still pretty great.
Ok, the last time we captured an ex-hume it seemed pointless to me. Did anyone really think we could cure those bastards by injecting them with our blood? No, because that would have been idiotic.
But, what if we captured an ex-hume and fitted it with a camera? Then, we set it back into the wild. The result, informative entertaining television. At first I was skeptical since I didn't understand how we would be able to watch it but apparently when he was liberating some other electronics for home surveillance he managed to scrounge up some spy-tech gear as well.
Additionally he suggested we could attach a GPS tracking device to it and use that to follow the creature in case it went out of signal range. However, I pointed out that with the power grid destroyed it was unlikely that we would be able to find any satellites.
But still, even if it only lasted for a few minutes... watching the ex-humes interact might be helpful to our current predicament.
Holy shit, listen to this. AJ might have had the best idea that anyone has had in the last year. No, he didn't figure out a cure. That would be way more amazing actually. But, what he suggested is still pretty great.
Ok, the last time we captured an ex-hume it seemed pointless to me. Did anyone really think we could cure those bastards by injecting them with our blood? No, because that would have been idiotic.
But, what if we captured an ex-hume and fitted it with a camera? Then, we set it back into the wild. The result, informative entertaining television. At first I was skeptical since I didn't understand how we would be able to watch it but apparently when he was liberating some other electronics for home surveillance he managed to scrounge up some spy-tech gear as well.
Additionally he suggested we could attach a GPS tracking device to it and use that to follow the creature in case it went out of signal range. However, I pointed out that with the power grid destroyed it was unlikely that we would be able to find any satellites.
But still, even if it only lasted for a few minutes... watching the ex-humes interact might be helpful to our current predicament.
Day Seventy Four:
Day Seventy Four:
It’s been over a week since my last entry and AJ seems to be doing better. Then again, everyone probably seems to be doing better right before they blow their head off.
Speaking of blowing off heads, I haven't been able to shoot an ex-hume in quite a while. Started to hope that maybe the infection had killed them all off but then I managed to catch sight of one out of the corner of my eye. As an experiment, we threw a small amount of food into the middle of the road and waited.
It used to take about 30 seconds before an ex-hume would take the bait.
This time it took over three hours.
After shooting it, we waited for its friends to come out but no dice. The next morning it was gone. Which means not only have they learned to avoid us, but they were smart enough to drag the body off instead of just chowing down in the middle of the street.
It’s been over a week since my last entry and AJ seems to be doing better. Then again, everyone probably seems to be doing better right before they blow their head off.
Speaking of blowing off heads, I haven't been able to shoot an ex-hume in quite a while. Started to hope that maybe the infection had killed them all off but then I managed to catch sight of one out of the corner of my eye. As an experiment, we threw a small amount of food into the middle of the road and waited.
It used to take about 30 seconds before an ex-hume would take the bait.
This time it took over three hours.
After shooting it, we waited for its friends to come out but no dice. The next morning it was gone. Which means not only have they learned to avoid us, but they were smart enough to drag the body off instead of just chowing down in the middle of the street.
Day Seventy Three:
Day Seventy Three:
I walked in on AJ today and found him sitting in a chair with a fully loaded revolver in his lap.
In the pre-exhume world this type of discovery would have lead to me possibly calling an ambulance, possible hospitalization, therapy, care sessions, all sorts of prescribed hugs, etc...
Now days though I just kind of looked at the gun for a while, then at AJ. After I shrugged he picked the gun up off his lap and put it in a drawer. Suicide isn't frowned upon nearly as much when you are living in a doomed world with no chance for survival. In fact, although I can't imagine killing myself I have been tempted on a few of my more depressed days to ask one of my new friends if they wouldn't mind putting a bullet through my head.
Horrible right?
We will survive a monster virus, a feral threat, and the myriad of other problems that come with the collapse of society only to be murdered by our own minds. Fantastic.
I walked in on AJ today and found him sitting in a chair with a fully loaded revolver in his lap.
In the pre-exhume world this type of discovery would have lead to me possibly calling an ambulance, possible hospitalization, therapy, care sessions, all sorts of prescribed hugs, etc...
Now days though I just kind of looked at the gun for a while, then at AJ. After I shrugged he picked the gun up off his lap and put it in a drawer. Suicide isn't frowned upon nearly as much when you are living in a doomed world with no chance for survival. In fact, although I can't imagine killing myself I have been tempted on a few of my more depressed days to ask one of my new friends if they wouldn't mind putting a bullet through my head.
Horrible right?
We will survive a monster virus, a feral threat, and the myriad of other problems that come with the collapse of society only to be murdered by our own minds. Fantastic.
Day Seventy Two:
Day Seventy Two:
Originally I planned on writing everyday in this damned thing. Everyday turned to every other day turned to maybe every week. Why you ask?
Because who is my audience?
Me?
Writing is cathartic, unless it routinely reminds you of your current situation. Which this does. Don't worry no one, I'm not going to stop writing. I will continue to tell you about how we almost found survivors.
How we almost made a difference.
And how we came really really close to having something happen.
Can you stand the excitement?
If something doesn't happen soon I am packing up all my shit and driving out to Area 51. Because you know, I have always wanted to know if they have aliens there, who shot Kennedy, and what really happened with the damned moon landing.
Originally I planned on writing everyday in this damned thing. Everyday turned to every other day turned to maybe every week. Why you ask?
Because who is my audience?
Me?
Writing is cathartic, unless it routinely reminds you of your current situation. Which this does. Don't worry no one, I'm not going to stop writing. I will continue to tell you about how we almost found survivors.
How we almost made a difference.
And how we came really really close to having something happen.
Can you stand the excitement?
If something doesn't happen soon I am packing up all my shit and driving out to Area 51. Because you know, I have always wanted to know if they have aliens there, who shot Kennedy, and what really happened with the damned moon landing.
Day Seventy One:
Day Seventy One:
No helicopter today, which was incredibly depressing actually. Spent almost our entire day staring up at the sky through one of the slats in Arnold's car. Also didn't help that we weren't able to find any survivors. AJ said that he thought we would have a better shot at finding survivors if we split up. Although we all agreed, we also agreed that the risk wasn't worth the reward.
Arnold might have been working alone until we showed up, but now that we're here it no longer makes much sense to continue forward in such a way. I mean after all, its not like we have millions of lives to throw away anymore.
AJ pointed something else out too that has me worried. The Ex-humes are starting to work in smaller groups. No big deal except, it looks like they have weeded out a lot of the slower, injured, or otherwise less fit monsters. I don't know how worried we should be though since we seem to have stayed one step ahead of them so far. Only time will tell I suppose.
No helicopter today, which was incredibly depressing actually. Spent almost our entire day staring up at the sky through one of the slats in Arnold's car. Also didn't help that we weren't able to find any survivors. AJ said that he thought we would have a better shot at finding survivors if we split up. Although we all agreed, we also agreed that the risk wasn't worth the reward.
Arnold might have been working alone until we showed up, but now that we're here it no longer makes much sense to continue forward in such a way. I mean after all, its not like we have millions of lives to throw away anymore.
AJ pointed something else out too that has me worried. The Ex-humes are starting to work in smaller groups. No big deal except, it looks like they have weeded out a lot of the slower, injured, or otherwise less fit monsters. I don't know how worried we should be though since we seem to have stayed one step ahead of them so far. Only time will tell I suppose.
Day Seventy:
Day Seventy:
We saw a helicopter today.
No really, I'm not just pretending. We really saw one. It came out of the East and got within a few miles of us before turning around and heading back towards wherever it came from. We tried to draw as much attention to us as we could but, all that accomplished was an extra hundred or so Ex-humes coming to look at possible dinner snacks.
But still, a helicopter! That means there has to be some fabric of order somewhere right?
Maybe part of the government really is still thriving below the surface resident evil style. Or maybe it’s just a little group of survivors who hijacked a helicopter for joyrides. Either way, it’s something. And in this new world of horror something new is beautiful.
We saw a helicopter today.
No really, I'm not just pretending. We really saw one. It came out of the East and got within a few miles of us before turning around and heading back towards wherever it came from. We tried to draw as much attention to us as we could but, all that accomplished was an extra hundred or so Ex-humes coming to look at possible dinner snacks.
But still, a helicopter! That means there has to be some fabric of order somewhere right?
Maybe part of the government really is still thriving below the surface resident evil style. Or maybe it’s just a little group of survivors who hijacked a helicopter for joyrides. Either way, it’s something. And in this new world of horror something new is beautiful.
Day Sixty Nine:
Day Sixty Nine:
I suppose it is only appropriate that this entry is at least a little bit about sex.
What is the minimum population that you can sustain humanity with? We were arguing today about whether or not we are already extinct. After driving around all day, we once again found no one. So, it stands to reason that if we continue to not find anyone, then we as a species are dead regardless of if we are still running out the clock.
Even if we find others, how many would we need to find so that we don't wind up like the people from the Hills have Eyes? 100? 1,000? 10,000? I suppose there could be pockets of civilization somewhere that weren't affected by this disaster. Maybe an isolated island culture in Maine or something? Problem is, even if they did manage to escape it for now it seems like its only a matter of time.
Eventually they will need to venture out to find food or other resources, and what if one of them gets infected? Well that infection spreads to the rest of the island. I argued that everyone that isn't immune is already dead. Because in this new world there won't be any new amazing breakthroughs in science.
That era is done and before long, we will be back in the dark ages. That’s a lie, the dark ages might have been rough but they had numbers. Where we are going humanity has never been. Unless you believe that God made Adam and Eve in which case, I guess they faced a similar situation.
Cept for the fact that they were in a garden of Eden and we are in the suburbs of hell.
Shit, that’s a lie too. Because there are supposedly lots of people in hell too.
So we're in, limbo with monsters? Who knows?
I suppose it is only appropriate that this entry is at least a little bit about sex.
What is the minimum population that you can sustain humanity with? We were arguing today about whether or not we are already extinct. After driving around all day, we once again found no one. So, it stands to reason that if we continue to not find anyone, then we as a species are dead regardless of if we are still running out the clock.
Even if we find others, how many would we need to find so that we don't wind up like the people from the Hills have Eyes? 100? 1,000? 10,000? I suppose there could be pockets of civilization somewhere that weren't affected by this disaster. Maybe an isolated island culture in Maine or something? Problem is, even if they did manage to escape it for now it seems like its only a matter of time.
Eventually they will need to venture out to find food or other resources, and what if one of them gets infected? Well that infection spreads to the rest of the island. I argued that everyone that isn't immune is already dead. Because in this new world there won't be any new amazing breakthroughs in science.
That era is done and before long, we will be back in the dark ages. That’s a lie, the dark ages might have been rough but they had numbers. Where we are going humanity has never been. Unless you believe that God made Adam and Eve in which case, I guess they faced a similar situation.
Cept for the fact that they were in a garden of Eden and we are in the suburbs of hell.
Shit, that’s a lie too. Because there are supposedly lots of people in hell too.
So we're in, limbo with monsters? Who knows?
Day Sixty Eight:
Day Sixty Eight:
Arnold lightened the mood today by going into great detail about how every single day we travel in a car, could be our last. The battery could die, the tires could go flat, blown transmission, etc etc etc... I had no idea there were so many different ways a car could die. However, the end message is that if the car dies, we die.
Except, my car died and I'm still alive.
Or am I?
Dun dun dun!
No seriously, I am still alive. Arnold just laughed when I told him that. Isn't it weird when people laugh at something that isn't funny so that they don't have to explain their theories any more?
On a lighter note, I found a dog today!
No I didn't. This shit isn't I am Legend. Will Smith doesn't save the planet. Wait, did he save the planet in I am Legend? Who cares, the book was better. I hope when ex-humes figure out how to make movies they don't ruin my story as the last survivor.
Arnold lightened the mood today by going into great detail about how every single day we travel in a car, could be our last. The battery could die, the tires could go flat, blown transmission, etc etc etc... I had no idea there were so many different ways a car could die. However, the end message is that if the car dies, we die.
Except, my car died and I'm still alive.
Or am I?
Dun dun dun!
No seriously, I am still alive. Arnold just laughed when I told him that. Isn't it weird when people laugh at something that isn't funny so that they don't have to explain their theories any more?
On a lighter note, I found a dog today!
No I didn't. This shit isn't I am Legend. Will Smith doesn't save the planet. Wait, did he save the planet in I am Legend? Who cares, the book was better. I hope when ex-humes figure out how to make movies they don't ruin my story as the last survivor.
Day Sixty Seven:
Day Sixty Seven:
Not much was accomplished if you consider that we are supposed to be looking for other survivors. But, if wasting a day making a new friend was our real goal, then AJ and I won the battle. Because as horrible as this new planet is, today was pretty fun.
Spent most of the time driving around and talking about various points like, how many survivors you would need to form some type of uninfected army that could eradicate this new threat. Talked about whether or not the offspring of two uninfected would produce a baby immune to the ex-hume disease and the more horrible thought of if it is some type of recessive trait, if two ex-humes could create an uninfected baby who would probably get eaten by them.
That in turn broke down into a discussion about the longevity of the ex-humes. Arnold said that as far as he can tell, although they will work together if it serves a purpose... they also appear to have zero compassion for any form of weakness and since a baby is the ultimate form of weakness, he thinks all of their offspring would just be tasty snacks for them.
I know this doesn't sound like a rip-roaring fun time of enjoyable banter but it really was. Maybe tomorrow we'll find someone else to join our little tribe of fucked up discussions.
Not much was accomplished if you consider that we are supposed to be looking for other survivors. But, if wasting a day making a new friend was our real goal, then AJ and I won the battle. Because as horrible as this new planet is, today was pretty fun.
Spent most of the time driving around and talking about various points like, how many survivors you would need to form some type of uninfected army that could eradicate this new threat. Talked about whether or not the offspring of two uninfected would produce a baby immune to the ex-hume disease and the more horrible thought of if it is some type of recessive trait, if two ex-humes could create an uninfected baby who would probably get eaten by them.
That in turn broke down into a discussion about the longevity of the ex-humes. Arnold said that as far as he can tell, although they will work together if it serves a purpose... they also appear to have zero compassion for any form of weakness and since a baby is the ultimate form of weakness, he thinks all of their offspring would just be tasty snacks for them.
I know this doesn't sound like a rip-roaring fun time of enjoyable banter but it really was. Maybe tomorrow we'll find someone else to join our little tribe of fucked up discussions.
Day Sixty Six:
Day Sixty Six:
AJ wanted to leave the red stuff hanging out our window like I mentioned in my last journal entry but I convinced him otherwise. Instead, we managed to sneak over to a house down the street from mine that we would be able to see from my upstairs window. We hung the sheet there instead. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any actual red sheets so, we just stapled, sewed, glued, anything red I had to a normal bed sheet and hoped that would get the attention of our possible new friend.
Additionally, we gave the common courtesy of doing a quick sweep of the entire house so that the outsider didn’t walk into an unintentional ex-hume booby-trap. Then we left a note on the front door that said, “Went for supplies, if you arrive while I am gone please prove that you aren’t hostile.”
We intentionally left a window open a crack. My theory being, if this guy was up to no good he would either raid the house, or hide inside it waiting for the victim to get home. Turns out I was worried for nothing.
Our rescue party of one arrived shortly after 5pm. The vehicle he drove wasn’t exactly a tank but it definitely would have made the A-Team proud. Instead of opening a door he climbed through a hole in the roof and after scouting the area, made a quick run over to the door, read the note, and ran back to his homemade tank.
Then he surprised us by running back to the door and wound up leaving a handgun on the front porch along with a note of his own. As he was walking back to his vehicle we both decided to take a chance and called out to him. He seemed surprised at first but then broke into a big toothy grin. Turns out the note he left with the gun simply read, “I would be crazy not to carry a gun with me but in case you don’t have one, perhaps this would prove I’m not hostile towards you? I will try to be back the same time tomorrow.”
His name is Arnold and before this all happened he worked as a fish and games warden for the local park services in the area. Like AJ, he had lost his entire family when this hell started and figured he might as well try to make some new friends while there were still friends left to make. We asked if he had found anyone else and he just shook his head. He said he thought he had seen people in windows a couple of times but, either they were just ex-humes trapped in houses or they suspected he was up to something fishy like AJ and I did at first.
After that it was pretty much just a conversation filled with theories and rumors. You always assume the other guy knows more than you but before long, you realize that everyone is in the same boat. At the end of our conversation we asked Arnold what happened now?
He wasn’t really sure. He asked if we had enough supplies and when we seemed a little hesitant to answer he explained to us that we didn’t have to worry about him trying to get to our supplies. If this were a different type of disaster, where all the food was in short supply maybe then but, the supermarkets were still stocked with canned goods, water, everything that didn’t spoil. He told us that he knew we had plenty of food but wanted to make sure we didn’t need help with anything else.
We explained how they were trying to get in through the ceiling but, after showing him what we did to solve the problem he was impressed. With immediate concerns addressed, he said we were more than welcome to come live with him but since that might be awkward without knowing each other, he would love it if we came along with him on his survival patrols.
We agreed. So starting tomorrow, we actually have a purpose. I’ll be damned.
AJ wanted to leave the red stuff hanging out our window like I mentioned in my last journal entry but I convinced him otherwise. Instead, we managed to sneak over to a house down the street from mine that we would be able to see from my upstairs window. We hung the sheet there instead. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any actual red sheets so, we just stapled, sewed, glued, anything red I had to a normal bed sheet and hoped that would get the attention of our possible new friend.
Additionally, we gave the common courtesy of doing a quick sweep of the entire house so that the outsider didn’t walk into an unintentional ex-hume booby-trap. Then we left a note on the front door that said, “Went for supplies, if you arrive while I am gone please prove that you aren’t hostile.”
We intentionally left a window open a crack. My theory being, if this guy was up to no good he would either raid the house, or hide inside it waiting for the victim to get home. Turns out I was worried for nothing.
Our rescue party of one arrived shortly after 5pm. The vehicle he drove wasn’t exactly a tank but it definitely would have made the A-Team proud. Instead of opening a door he climbed through a hole in the roof and after scouting the area, made a quick run over to the door, read the note, and ran back to his homemade tank.
Then he surprised us by running back to the door and wound up leaving a handgun on the front porch along with a note of his own. As he was walking back to his vehicle we both decided to take a chance and called out to him. He seemed surprised at first but then broke into a big toothy grin. Turns out the note he left with the gun simply read, “I would be crazy not to carry a gun with me but in case you don’t have one, perhaps this would prove I’m not hostile towards you? I will try to be back the same time tomorrow.”
His name is Arnold and before this all happened he worked as a fish and games warden for the local park services in the area. Like AJ, he had lost his entire family when this hell started and figured he might as well try to make some new friends while there were still friends left to make. We asked if he had found anyone else and he just shook his head. He said he thought he had seen people in windows a couple of times but, either they were just ex-humes trapped in houses or they suspected he was up to something fishy like AJ and I did at first.
After that it was pretty much just a conversation filled with theories and rumors. You always assume the other guy knows more than you but before long, you realize that everyone is in the same boat. At the end of our conversation we asked Arnold what happened now?
He wasn’t really sure. He asked if we had enough supplies and when we seemed a little hesitant to answer he explained to us that we didn’t have to worry about him trying to get to our supplies. If this were a different type of disaster, where all the food was in short supply maybe then but, the supermarkets were still stocked with canned goods, water, everything that didn’t spoil. He told us that he knew we had plenty of food but wanted to make sure we didn’t need help with anything else.
We explained how they were trying to get in through the ceiling but, after showing him what we did to solve the problem he was impressed. With immediate concerns addressed, he said we were more than welcome to come live with him but since that might be awkward without knowing each other, he would love it if we came along with him on his survival patrols.
We agreed. So starting tomorrow, we actually have a purpose. I’ll be damned.
Day Sixty Five:
Day Sixty Five:
Looks like AJ and I might not have to go exploring too far to find some real live human peoples! Today we heard an announcement, not sure how far away it was but best guess is two or three blocks. Must have rigged up some type of P.A. system to their car because the message was pretty clear:
All non-infected.
Place something red in your windows.
We are all that is left now and we need to band together.
Then the message repeated. So now the dilemma, do we trust this faceless message and take it at face value or do we instantly assume that we will be thrown into some type of labor and/or rape camp the second they find out where we are?
In the movies, there are always the slaver/rape factions roaming around look for more raping and slavery but, I don't know. I'm of the opinion that 65 days wouldn't really be long enough to make people want to focus on that so much as, trying to rebuild. Although, AJ pointed out that we have no idea who has survived. So if a serial killing psychopath was for some cruel reason spared, he probably would try something like this.
Decisions decisions.
After weighing the pros and cons we decided to hang out a bunch of red stuff in our windows. Of course, if they don't drive down our street that won't do much good but hopefully they are driving in some type of grid since that is what we were going to do.
And if they are bad guys, well... we have enough firepower here to flatten a Sherman tank so, at least we'll go out with a bang.
Looks like AJ and I might not have to go exploring too far to find some real live human peoples! Today we heard an announcement, not sure how far away it was but best guess is two or three blocks. Must have rigged up some type of P.A. system to their car because the message was pretty clear:
All non-infected.
Place something red in your windows.
We are all that is left now and we need to band together.
Then the message repeated. So now the dilemma, do we trust this faceless message and take it at face value or do we instantly assume that we will be thrown into some type of labor and/or rape camp the second they find out where we are?
In the movies, there are always the slaver/rape factions roaming around look for more raping and slavery but, I don't know. I'm of the opinion that 65 days wouldn't really be long enough to make people want to focus on that so much as, trying to rebuild. Although, AJ pointed out that we have no idea who has survived. So if a serial killing psychopath was for some cruel reason spared, he probably would try something like this.
Decisions decisions.
After weighing the pros and cons we decided to hang out a bunch of red stuff in our windows. Of course, if they don't drive down our street that won't do much good but hopefully they are driving in some type of grid since that is what we were going to do.
And if they are bad guys, well... we have enough firepower here to flatten a Sherman tank so, at least we'll go out with a bang.
Day Sixty Three:
Day Sixty Three:
Caught an ex-hume
Injected it with my blood (AJ didn’t want to use his since he doesn’t believe his is pure anymore)
WE CURED THE HUMAN RACE!
Oh shit, wouldn’t it be great if that was true. If I had been wrong about AJ’s theories and all we had to do was round up all the monsters and stick them with the magic cure?
Nothing happened. I wasn’t upset at all since I expected as much but AJ seemed to take it pretty hard. Even if we were able to somehow remove every ounce of the infected blood, and replace it with mine I still don’t think it would work. Once the virus hit, I think it somehow dissolves the brain, or a portion of it. And if there is one thing I have learned from watching countless medical shows on tv, its that brain injuries = you’re screwed.\
To paraphrase Homer Simpson, “We tried our best and failed miserably, what’s the lesson here? Never try.”
Caught an ex-hume
Injected it with my blood (AJ didn’t want to use his since he doesn’t believe his is pure anymore)
WE CURED THE HUMAN RACE!
Oh shit, wouldn’t it be great if that was true. If I had been wrong about AJ’s theories and all we had to do was round up all the monsters and stick them with the magic cure?
Nothing happened. I wasn’t upset at all since I expected as much but AJ seemed to take it pretty hard. Even if we were able to somehow remove every ounce of the infected blood, and replace it with mine I still don’t think it would work. Once the virus hit, I think it somehow dissolves the brain, or a portion of it. And if there is one thing I have learned from watching countless medical shows on tv, its that brain injuries = you’re screwed.\
To paraphrase Homer Simpson, “We tried our best and failed miserably, what’s the lesson here? Never try.”
Day Sixty Two:
Day Sixty Two:
We managed to kill thirty clothed ex-humes. Probably could have conserved more ammo but after we’d shoot one of them, we had to shoot the surrounding ones as well to keep them from ripping apart the clothed ones and as a result, possibly eating the keys.
After securing the area we went out and searched all of them and came up with 13 sets of key fobs.
Over the course of several hours we hopped from roof to roof to roof and back again hoping to find a car that would light up when we hit the panic button. On the eighth set, we found our winner. A maroon newer model pick-up truck parked in front of a liquor store.
In situations like this, I find myself wondering why someone would leave their truck outside a store during a plague. AJ pointed out that the guy probably lived up above the place or was the owner. Or, was someone who had car troubles and left it there meaning to get it fixed the next day.
Getting to the truck went off without a hitch although, I half expected it to have a flat tire on the side we couldn’t see, or dead battery, or whatever the hell else would get us eaten alive but no. It got us from point A to point B just fine and now we are safely back in my lovely house. Despite the recent near disaster, AJ still wants to try his blood injection idea so we’ll see how that goes.
Now I am going to sleep in my bed, that isn’t made out of discount coats in the corner of a stairwell. Even though we have lost so much, its nice to know that it isn’t all gone.
We managed to kill thirty clothed ex-humes. Probably could have conserved more ammo but after we’d shoot one of them, we had to shoot the surrounding ones as well to keep them from ripping apart the clothed ones and as a result, possibly eating the keys.
After securing the area we went out and searched all of them and came up with 13 sets of key fobs.
Over the course of several hours we hopped from roof to roof to roof and back again hoping to find a car that would light up when we hit the panic button. On the eighth set, we found our winner. A maroon newer model pick-up truck parked in front of a liquor store.
In situations like this, I find myself wondering why someone would leave their truck outside a store during a plague. AJ pointed out that the guy probably lived up above the place or was the owner. Or, was someone who had car troubles and left it there meaning to get it fixed the next day.
Getting to the truck went off without a hitch although, I half expected it to have a flat tire on the side we couldn’t see, or dead battery, or whatever the hell else would get us eaten alive but no. It got us from point A to point B just fine and now we are safely back in my lovely house. Despite the recent near disaster, AJ still wants to try his blood injection idea so we’ll see how that goes.
Now I am going to sleep in my bed, that isn’t made out of discount coats in the corner of a stairwell. Even though we have lost so much, its nice to know that it isn’t all gone.
Day Sixty One:
Day Sixty One:
Today AJ had a pretty good idea for transportation. He suggested we search the 20 or so dead ex-humes lying in the store. His theory is, if they died nearby, we might be able to find their keys and hit the car alarm to find it. After creating a distraction outside we quickly searched all the dead bodies that were wearing clothes and came up with 5 sets of car keys.
Of those 5, 3 had key fobs with car alarms.
We took the keys up to the roof and after walking from roof to roof to roof, not a single one set off any of the nearby cars. Not a problem. Tomorrow we start executing only the ex-humes in the store who are wearing clothes with pockets.
Hey, its worth a shot. No seriously, it is literally worth shooting people in the face to find a way out of this place.
Today AJ had a pretty good idea for transportation. He suggested we search the 20 or so dead ex-humes lying in the store. His theory is, if they died nearby, we might be able to find their keys and hit the car alarm to find it. After creating a distraction outside we quickly searched all the dead bodies that were wearing clothes and came up with 5 sets of car keys.
Of those 5, 3 had key fobs with car alarms.
We took the keys up to the roof and after walking from roof to roof to roof, not a single one set off any of the nearby cars. Not a problem. Tomorrow we start executing only the ex-humes in the store who are wearing clothes with pockets.
Hey, its worth a shot. No seriously, it is literally worth shooting people in the face to find a way out of this place.
Day Sixty:
Day Sixty:
I’m in a more friendly mood today. I think I’m just missing the comfort we enjoyed at the house. Granted, we’ve got things pretty well secured here but… I still want out. As cool as living in a stairwell is, well yeah.
Today AJ took me up to the roofs and we scouted out the area for possible vehicles. Lots of options, problem is trying to figure out which ones might have keys in them still? I’ll tell you one thing, as soon as we are back on our feet to hell with this whole blood injection idea. We are going straight to the local library or Army Surplus store and finding some books that explain Carjacking 101.
Later in the day, we saw a pregnant lady ex-hume walking down the street. Chances are that the baby was already dead inside her since, she was obviously pregnant before all this started. But, just in case I put a round through her stomach and then another in her head. AJ ridiculed me for wasting the extra bullet since, the things were quick enough to rip her to pieces but, I didn’t want her to suffer any more than she had to.
While they were busy feasting, we explored the building some more and lugged back a bunch of food and water to add to the already ample amount of food and water stockpiled. AJ took a bunch of flammable stuff as well, just in case we needed firebombs and I grabbed as many magazines as I could. I figured read something would be a good way to pass the time even if it was two months old but about half way through a copy of People I started feeling a mixture of anger, depression, and overwhelming hopelessness so I stopped.
AJ is trying to convince me that we could make it back to the house on bikes, but so far I’m not convinced. Would you trust a Huffy against a pack of blood thirsty wolves? Wolves the size of people? Right.
At least we’ve made it two months, that’s saying something I suppose. I just wish we could find more survivors. I suppose it doesn't help that I expect anyone alive to come knock on my door but still. In the movies they always have that one AM band radio broadcast where a group has fortified a town and is directing everyone to their safe haven.
Bullshit.
Would you know how to broadcast a radio signal with no electricity? Or even, with electricity? Because I sure don’t. AJ says if we want to find people, we don’t need a radio, we just need to think in terms of castles. He thinks that if there are truly groups of people left, they will be found in area where the threat of attack is severely mitigated by their environment.
I told AJ to stop talking like the History channel.
He told me, people want safety. It’s what we want. And if we want people, that’s where we need to start looking.
We made a list of places we thought people might flock to for safety. This is what we came up with:
1. Prisons (If people can’t escape, they probably can’t get in either)
2. Stadiums (Except, we weren’t sure if there would be enough food)\
3. High rises (Easy to barricade stairwells as we already learned)
We also figured a good number of people might be hiding in churches if they were able to fortify them in time because if not those things would be through the windows in no time. Of course, this assumes that in two months people have begun to form groups and aren’t just cowering in their houses like we were.
Once we figure a way out of here, AJ and I are going to begin a more proactive effort towards finding people. We decided that we can use the house as a staging point and explore every back alley and middle of nowhere in the city if we have to. Hopefully, if anyone else is out there they’ve put a sign in the window announcing that fact. We’ll see.
I’m in a more friendly mood today. I think I’m just missing the comfort we enjoyed at the house. Granted, we’ve got things pretty well secured here but… I still want out. As cool as living in a stairwell is, well yeah.
Today AJ took me up to the roofs and we scouted out the area for possible vehicles. Lots of options, problem is trying to figure out which ones might have keys in them still? I’ll tell you one thing, as soon as we are back on our feet to hell with this whole blood injection idea. We are going straight to the local library or Army Surplus store and finding some books that explain Carjacking 101.
Later in the day, we saw a pregnant lady ex-hume walking down the street. Chances are that the baby was already dead inside her since, she was obviously pregnant before all this started. But, just in case I put a round through her stomach and then another in her head. AJ ridiculed me for wasting the extra bullet since, the things were quick enough to rip her to pieces but, I didn’t want her to suffer any more than she had to.
While they were busy feasting, we explored the building some more and lugged back a bunch of food and water to add to the already ample amount of food and water stockpiled. AJ took a bunch of flammable stuff as well, just in case we needed firebombs and I grabbed as many magazines as I could. I figured read something would be a good way to pass the time even if it was two months old but about half way through a copy of People I started feeling a mixture of anger, depression, and overwhelming hopelessness so I stopped.
AJ is trying to convince me that we could make it back to the house on bikes, but so far I’m not convinced. Would you trust a Huffy against a pack of blood thirsty wolves? Wolves the size of people? Right.
At least we’ve made it two months, that’s saying something I suppose. I just wish we could find more survivors. I suppose it doesn't help that I expect anyone alive to come knock on my door but still. In the movies they always have that one AM band radio broadcast where a group has fortified a town and is directing everyone to their safe haven.
Bullshit.
Would you know how to broadcast a radio signal with no electricity? Or even, with electricity? Because I sure don’t. AJ says if we want to find people, we don’t need a radio, we just need to think in terms of castles. He thinks that if there are truly groups of people left, they will be found in area where the threat of attack is severely mitigated by their environment.
I told AJ to stop talking like the History channel.
He told me, people want safety. It’s what we want. And if we want people, that’s where we need to start looking.
We made a list of places we thought people might flock to for safety. This is what we came up with:
1. Prisons (If people can’t escape, they probably can’t get in either)
2. Stadiums (Except, we weren’t sure if there would be enough food)\
3. High rises (Easy to barricade stairwells as we already learned)
We also figured a good number of people might be hiding in churches if they were able to fortify them in time because if not those things would be through the windows in no time. Of course, this assumes that in two months people have begun to form groups and aren’t just cowering in their houses like we were.
Once we figure a way out of here, AJ and I are going to begin a more proactive effort towards finding people. We decided that we can use the house as a staging point and explore every back alley and middle of nowhere in the city if we have to. Hopefully, if anyone else is out there they’ve put a sign in the window announcing that fact. We’ll see.
Day Fifty Nine:
Day Fifty Nine:
Today AJ told me I probably should go lay down, take a break, relax a little.
He's a fucking idiot.
I mean, he's great because he's the last person on the planet and saved my life probably and yeah. But sometimes, sometimes he just doesn't get it.
Ok look, if this was a book what would you say the plot is? If it was a movie, what is the point? We are trapped in a department store, there is no hope, we will die, humanity will fail.
Will fail? No, it already has. These things are breeding, which means no matter how many we kill there will be more of them on the way. So that leaves a cure, but all the scientists are fucking monsters.
So no AJ, I don't need to lay down, I don't need a break, I probably could use a breather but if I step outside my throat will be ripped out by ex-humes. So there you have it. If by some miracle you survived and found this, you might want to stop reading. Because if I were a gambler, I would put money on this ending with me dead in a pool of my own blood. The only twist will be whether I blow my brains out or, get them chewed out of my skull. Can't wait to find out.
I'm going to sleep, with any luck I'll suffer a massive stroke.
Today AJ told me I probably should go lay down, take a break, relax a little.
He's a fucking idiot.
I mean, he's great because he's the last person on the planet and saved my life probably and yeah. But sometimes, sometimes he just doesn't get it.
Ok look, if this was a book what would you say the plot is? If it was a movie, what is the point? We are trapped in a department store, there is no hope, we will die, humanity will fail.
Will fail? No, it already has. These things are breeding, which means no matter how many we kill there will be more of them on the way. So that leaves a cure, but all the scientists are fucking monsters.
So no AJ, I don't need to lay down, I don't need a break, I probably could use a breather but if I step outside my throat will be ripped out by ex-humes. So there you have it. If by some miracle you survived and found this, you might want to stop reading. Because if I were a gambler, I would put money on this ending with me dead in a pool of my own blood. The only twist will be whether I blow my brains out or, get them chewed out of my skull. Can't wait to find out.
I'm going to sleep, with any luck I'll suffer a massive stroke.
Day Fifty Eight:
Day Fifty Eight:
Before 8 AM today I spotted AJ up on the roof with a sign that read, "Bring guns, don't need food". Glad he said that since, I was planning on leaving the majority of the weapons I have behind.
Then I waited.
And waited.
And it took at least 15 hours for 10 minutes to pass, but then his diversion went off. Somehow he had managed to make his way a across the roofs of a few buildings, and then lowered a bunch of battery powered alarm clocks off the roof into the street.
God Bless him because it worked like a charm and I managed to make my way to him without having to fire a single shot. Inside, he found a stairwell that was easily blockaded and crafted a spear that he used to stab into the face of any ex-hume still hunting him in the store. Eventually, after a few days he killed enough to where no more even knew he was there and he was able to scrounge up quite a bit of resources.
I don't want to stay here, but until we figure out how to safely get to a car it will suffice.
Before 8 AM today I spotted AJ up on the roof with a sign that read, "Bring guns, don't need food". Glad he said that since, I was planning on leaving the majority of the weapons I have behind.
Then I waited.
And waited.
And it took at least 15 hours for 10 minutes to pass, but then his diversion went off. Somehow he had managed to make his way a across the roofs of a few buildings, and then lowered a bunch of battery powered alarm clocks off the roof into the street.
God Bless him because it worked like a charm and I managed to make my way to him without having to fire a single shot. Inside, he found a stairwell that was easily blockaded and crafted a spear that he used to stab into the face of any ex-hume still hunting him in the store. Eventually, after a few days he killed enough to where no more even knew he was there and he was able to scrounge up quite a bit of resources.
I don't want to stay here, but until we figure out how to safely get to a car it will suffice.
Day Fifty Something, Seven?:
Day Fifty Something, Seven?:
I wasn't planning on writing anymore since I figured I was dead, but after a week and a half of roasting in the sun in my car guess who I saw?
Yep, Aj.
Honestly, at first I thought I was hallucinating. I still have a little food and water but, I figured died days ago. Nope.
He was up on the roof of a building with something reflective. No idea how long he has been up there trying to get my attention but God Bless him for the effort. Apparently, he has been able to hold out inside OK. Not sure why those things haven't ripped him apart, must have made some quick shelter or found a stair well, or who knows.
Don't really care to tell you the truth. All I know is seeing him, even just a little while sure beats crapping through the now overflowing trapdoor in my car. On the third or fourth day I thought that maybe I could use the hole in the floor of the car to push myself forward, sort of like the Flintstones but no. One, I would have to step in my own shit, two those things would chew my leg off, and three... even when I tried using the barrel of my gun as an oar? Well, it didn't work and just got shit all over a rather nice shotgun.
Anyway, Aj is up there and he told me that tomorrow at 8 in the morning there would be a distraction down the street. Hopefully, a distraction big enough to lure all those things away from me and give me enough time to get to him.
God I wish I was still parked against the store. Because now it looks like it is a million miles away. Wish me luck.
I wasn't planning on writing anymore since I figured I was dead, but after a week and a half of roasting in the sun in my car guess who I saw?
Yep, Aj.
Honestly, at first I thought I was hallucinating. I still have a little food and water but, I figured died days ago. Nope.
He was up on the roof of a building with something reflective. No idea how long he has been up there trying to get my attention but God Bless him for the effort. Apparently, he has been able to hold out inside OK. Not sure why those things haven't ripped him apart, must have made some quick shelter or found a stair well, or who knows.
Don't really care to tell you the truth. All I know is seeing him, even just a little while sure beats crapping through the now overflowing trapdoor in my car. On the third or fourth day I thought that maybe I could use the hole in the floor of the car to push myself forward, sort of like the Flintstones but no. One, I would have to step in my own shit, two those things would chew my leg off, and three... even when I tried using the barrel of my gun as an oar? Well, it didn't work and just got shit all over a rather nice shotgun.
Anyway, Aj is up there and he told me that tomorrow at 8 in the morning there would be a distraction down the street. Hopefully, a distraction big enough to lure all those things away from me and give me enough time to get to him.
God I wish I was still parked against the store. Because now it looks like it is a million miles away. Wish me luck.
Day Fifty Four/Five/Six:
Day Fifty Four/Five/Six:
We thought we had it all figured out. I mean, if I was able to get to AJ once then it would be no problem for the two of us to get somewhere and back right?
Wrong.
Right now I am alone in a heavily fortified metal coffin. Fortunately, I had the foresight to pack some food and weapons just in case something bad happened. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the foresight to stay the fuck at home.
Don’t even ask where AJ is because I have no idea.
I also don’t know if there will be any more journal entries seeing as how, I am currently trapped in an immobile vehicle that is surrounded by at least 200 ex-humes with the number growing daily. Currently I have enough water and food to last me a minimum of two weeks but, I’m not sure how interesting of a journal it will be if every entry consists of “I am sick of being stuck in my car”.
Its been three days since we left the house, and I haven’t seen AJ since the first day. If he is alive, he must be in worse shape than me. I keep hoping that he made it to the roof of the building he ran into because if not, he is dead.
The plan was simple. He would be in the back of the jeep, I would back it up to a CVS or RiteAid or anywhere else that might have some needles in a pharmacy. He would shotgun the door open, run in, grab what he needed, and run out while I covered the front.
Brilliant plan except we didn’t check out the side of the store where a window had been broken out either by ex-humes or looters. So he went in, and then all hell broke loose inside. Next thing I knew, an ex-hume was running towards the back of my open vehicle so I had to floor it to get away.
Unfortunately, while flooring it, I drove over some curbs and rocks and honestly I don’t even know but somewhere along the way I either snapped an axle or ruptured a gas line (Although I would probably smell that), or did something that turned my car from an escape vehicle, into a death trap about 500 feet away from the drugstore.
How come on the tv show cops, the bad guy can drive off the grand canyon, with four flat tires, and hit the bottom without damaging his car that much. But when I try to back out of a parking lot in a panic I completely total the vehicle?
Fortunately, I managed to jump into the back and yank it closed about 5 seconds before an ex-hume ran full speed into it. Now, well now I am just waiting to die.
That’s a lie.
After all I have been through I am not waiting to die.
I am brainstorming and trying to think of some way out of this mess but, so far nothing seems promising. If I go on foot, I die. If I wait for help, I die. If I try to run to the nearest building, I die. I might be able to shoot most of the ex-humes around my car but chances are… as soon as I step outside they will be on me. Although they might get distracted by all the meat worth eating.
I’m not sure. All I know right now is, this was a bad idea. On the plus side, at least I was smart enough to make a small space in the floor where I can dump out all of my… bathroom materials. Hooray for tiny miracles. On the less miraculous side, despite being able to dump it out, it is still directly below me and baking in the sun throughout the day. And I used to think driving past a dead skunk smelled bad.
We thought we had it all figured out. I mean, if I was able to get to AJ once then it would be no problem for the two of us to get somewhere and back right?
Wrong.
Right now I am alone in a heavily fortified metal coffin. Fortunately, I had the foresight to pack some food and weapons just in case something bad happened. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the foresight to stay the fuck at home.
Don’t even ask where AJ is because I have no idea.
I also don’t know if there will be any more journal entries seeing as how, I am currently trapped in an immobile vehicle that is surrounded by at least 200 ex-humes with the number growing daily. Currently I have enough water and food to last me a minimum of two weeks but, I’m not sure how interesting of a journal it will be if every entry consists of “I am sick of being stuck in my car”.
Its been three days since we left the house, and I haven’t seen AJ since the first day. If he is alive, he must be in worse shape than me. I keep hoping that he made it to the roof of the building he ran into because if not, he is dead.
The plan was simple. He would be in the back of the jeep, I would back it up to a CVS or RiteAid or anywhere else that might have some needles in a pharmacy. He would shotgun the door open, run in, grab what he needed, and run out while I covered the front.
Brilliant plan except we didn’t check out the side of the store where a window had been broken out either by ex-humes or looters. So he went in, and then all hell broke loose inside. Next thing I knew, an ex-hume was running towards the back of my open vehicle so I had to floor it to get away.
Unfortunately, while flooring it, I drove over some curbs and rocks and honestly I don’t even know but somewhere along the way I either snapped an axle or ruptured a gas line (Although I would probably smell that), or did something that turned my car from an escape vehicle, into a death trap about 500 feet away from the drugstore.
How come on the tv show cops, the bad guy can drive off the grand canyon, with four flat tires, and hit the bottom without damaging his car that much. But when I try to back out of a parking lot in a panic I completely total the vehicle?
Fortunately, I managed to jump into the back and yank it closed about 5 seconds before an ex-hume ran full speed into it. Now, well now I am just waiting to die.
That’s a lie.
After all I have been through I am not waiting to die.
I am brainstorming and trying to think of some way out of this mess but, so far nothing seems promising. If I go on foot, I die. If I wait for help, I die. If I try to run to the nearest building, I die. I might be able to shoot most of the ex-humes around my car but chances are… as soon as I step outside they will be on me. Although they might get distracted by all the meat worth eating.
I’m not sure. All I know right now is, this was a bad idea. On the plus side, at least I was smart enough to make a small space in the floor where I can dump out all of my… bathroom materials. Hooray for tiny miracles. On the less miraculous side, despite being able to dump it out, it is still directly below me and baking in the sun throughout the day. And I used to think driving past a dead skunk smelled bad.
Day Fifty Three:
Day Fifty Three:
The garage cage is nearing completion but, I don’t know whether or not it will work. My greatest fear is that once we open the garage, we won’t be able to get it closed in time. This is why Aj is going to deal with the ex-hume in the garage and I am going to standby upstairs to snipe anything that gets too close.
Hopefully, once I’ve picked off one or two, the herd will gravitate towards them instead of rushing towards the garage. Because if they do, we are in a world of shit. My chainsawed stairs seem like an adequate defense but, those bastards are still doing their best to dig through the roof so if they can get up there, they might be able to somehow climbed up to where we would have to be holed up.
So the plan is, once the cage is finished we let one or two of them into the garage while I gun down all their friends. Inside the cage there is a smaller cage with meat in it. Hopefully, they will go for the meat at which point AJ pulls a pin and a door drops locking them into a small area. Then, we deconstruct the main cage so that we can get the car out and go get supplies.
The more complicated the plan, the more potential for failure. But Aj assures me that it will work, so at the very least I have the promise of a man who is neither an engineer nor a wildlife specialist. So that means a whole lot to me.
Hopefully Aj will be able to trap someone attractive because if his cure works it would be nice to have some eye candy around here. Also, if I have time I am going to try steal the picture of Aj’s retarded cage sketch that he showed me in order to sell me this insanity. Seriously, an artist he ain't.
The garage cage is nearing completion but, I don’t know whether or not it will work. My greatest fear is that once we open the garage, we won’t be able to get it closed in time. This is why Aj is going to deal with the ex-hume in the garage and I am going to standby upstairs to snipe anything that gets too close.
Hopefully, once I’ve picked off one or two, the herd will gravitate towards them instead of rushing towards the garage. Because if they do, we are in a world of shit. My chainsawed stairs seem like an adequate defense but, those bastards are still doing their best to dig through the roof so if they can get up there, they might be able to somehow climbed up to where we would have to be holed up.
So the plan is, once the cage is finished we let one or two of them into the garage while I gun down all their friends. Inside the cage there is a smaller cage with meat in it. Hopefully, they will go for the meat at which point AJ pulls a pin and a door drops locking them into a small area. Then, we deconstruct the main cage so that we can get the car out and go get supplies.
The more complicated the plan, the more potential for failure. But Aj assures me that it will work, so at the very least I have the promise of a man who is neither an engineer nor a wildlife specialist. So that means a whole lot to me.
Hopefully Aj will be able to trap someone attractive because if his cure works it would be nice to have some eye candy around here. Also, if I have time I am going to try steal the picture of Aj’s retarded cage sketch that he showed me in order to sell me this insanity. Seriously, an artist he ain't.
Day Fifty Two:
Day Fifty Two:
So here's the thing... catching a human that desperately wants to not be caught, without killing them, is very very very difficult. For a while we tried lowering a noose around the neck of an ex-hume who was busy feeding on one of its dead friends that we shot in my yard. Surprisingly, lowering the noose from my second story window and getting it to go around the neck of an ex-hume wasn't all that difficult.
However, getting the ex-hume to be calm enough to avoid strangling itself to death wasn't so easy. Not to mention, ex-humes are opportunistic and because of this they will often attack any other ex-hume who is in distress. So even if we could get the noosed (Can I use noose as a verb?) ex-hume to settle down, by the time it did it would have its intestines ripped out and would be half eaten.
So then Aj got the clever idea of, leaving a sort of cowboy lasso on the ground and when an ex-hume stepped in it we would pull the rope as hard as we could. This in turn, in theory, would then tighten around the ex-hume's legs allowing us to pull it into the air upside-down high enough to hopefully inject it with something to knock it out long enough to inject it with Aj’s blood.
Keep in mind, we have no syringes in the house and had no idea how we were going to go about injecting them. I explained to Aj early on that it didn't make any sense to leave the safety of our house and go looking for needle supplies, and dart guns, and whatever the hell else we might need if we weren't first able to prove that we could capture one of these things.
Anyway, trying to reverse lasso an ex-hume proved to be slightly past the boundaries of impossible so Aj decided we should try luring one into the garage. I suggested we could instead steal a windowless van and write "Free Meat" on the side but, he doesn't have my sense of humor apparently. Anyway, I pretty much vetoed his garage idea since that is idiotic. Any plan that brings them one step closer to us, and destroying the shelter we are so desperately holding onto seems like a bad one.
Aj came up with a compromise and is currently building some sort of cage that would once again, theoretically keep the ex-hume between the garage door, and some type of cage allowing him to then knock it out somehow without having 100 of its buddies rip it to pieces.
I might seem insane for agreeing to this but the way I look at it is like this. Ok, this shit is not ever going to work. Like, never. However, by allowing Aj to think I support him his morale stays up. Additionally, it gives him something to do which is always helpful in a situation like this. Plus, pending he actually builds a good cage in the garage well... that’s just one more layer of protection that we wouldn't have otherwise.
So basically, win win win. Of course, if we overestimate his cage, and one of them gets in here we're both probably dead. So basically, if these entries all of a sudden stop don't blame me. Blame faulty garage promises.
So here's the thing... catching a human that desperately wants to not be caught, without killing them, is very very very difficult. For a while we tried lowering a noose around the neck of an ex-hume who was busy feeding on one of its dead friends that we shot in my yard. Surprisingly, lowering the noose from my second story window and getting it to go around the neck of an ex-hume wasn't all that difficult.
However, getting the ex-hume to be calm enough to avoid strangling itself to death wasn't so easy. Not to mention, ex-humes are opportunistic and because of this they will often attack any other ex-hume who is in distress. So even if we could get the noosed (Can I use noose as a verb?) ex-hume to settle down, by the time it did it would have its intestines ripped out and would be half eaten.
So then Aj got the clever idea of, leaving a sort of cowboy lasso on the ground and when an ex-hume stepped in it we would pull the rope as hard as we could. This in turn, in theory, would then tighten around the ex-hume's legs allowing us to pull it into the air upside-down high enough to hopefully inject it with something to knock it out long enough to inject it with Aj’s blood.
Keep in mind, we have no syringes in the house and had no idea how we were going to go about injecting them. I explained to Aj early on that it didn't make any sense to leave the safety of our house and go looking for needle supplies, and dart guns, and whatever the hell else we might need if we weren't first able to prove that we could capture one of these things.
Anyway, trying to reverse lasso an ex-hume proved to be slightly past the boundaries of impossible so Aj decided we should try luring one into the garage. I suggested we could instead steal a windowless van and write "Free Meat" on the side but, he doesn't have my sense of humor apparently. Anyway, I pretty much vetoed his garage idea since that is idiotic. Any plan that brings them one step closer to us, and destroying the shelter we are so desperately holding onto seems like a bad one.
Aj came up with a compromise and is currently building some sort of cage that would once again, theoretically keep the ex-hume between the garage door, and some type of cage allowing him to then knock it out somehow without having 100 of its buddies rip it to pieces.
I might seem insane for agreeing to this but the way I look at it is like this. Ok, this shit is not ever going to work. Like, never. However, by allowing Aj to think I support him his morale stays up. Additionally, it gives him something to do which is always helpful in a situation like this. Plus, pending he actually builds a good cage in the garage well... that’s just one more layer of protection that we wouldn't have otherwise.
So basically, win win win. Of course, if we overestimate his cage, and one of them gets in here we're both probably dead. So basically, if these entries all of a sudden stop don't blame me. Blame faulty garage promises.
Day Fifty One:
Day Fifty One:
Tomorrow we are going to try to capture one and try out Aj's "Blood Miracle" idea. I don't know why I wrote all of this, I should have just wrote "Tomorrow we are going to fail". That would have been easier and much much more accurate.
In completely unrelated news, I am so incredibly sick of not being able to go out to a restaurant. You would think that having a 100 year supply of dried and canned food would be a good thing. And for the most part, it is. But right now I really want to go to a Steakhouse.
As Dennis Leary (who is probably now an ex-hume) once said, "Life sucks, wear a helmet".
Tomorrow we are going to try to capture one and try out Aj's "Blood Miracle" idea. I don't know why I wrote all of this, I should have just wrote "Tomorrow we are going to fail". That would have been easier and much much more accurate.
In completely unrelated news, I am so incredibly sick of not being able to go out to a restaurant. You would think that having a 100 year supply of dried and canned food would be a good thing. And for the most part, it is. But right now I really want to go to a Steakhouse.
As Dennis Leary (who is probably now an ex-hume) once said, "Life sucks, wear a helmet".
Day Fifty:
Day Fifty:
I wish I had some sort of momentous event to post on day fifty of our existence here but, sadly I do not. Actually, that’s probably a good thing since, anything newsworthy these days always seems to be incredibly bad news. Like a death, or explosion, or nuclear meltdown.
Would be nice if I could write down that we found a cure, that also cures cancer, and turns mosquitoes into cupcakes. But alas, that is a different story I think.
Sticking with the Aids theme from yesterday, we decided to see if we could mass poison the bastards still skulking about my house.
This was a bad idea.
Because first we had to figure out how to poison them. Which we accomplished by shooting a couple below my bedroom window and then dumping incredible amounts of toilet bowl cleaner, and bleach, and whatever else we thought might kill them.
Sure enough, regardless of the poison, the ex-humes ate their dead and this is where it got bad.
The ones that ate it didn’t die right away like the movies. They started foaming at the mouth and making horrible sounds that could never be explained with a pen. Eventually they started to convulse at which point healthy ex-humes would pounce on them.
Depressing.
And ineffective because it didn't harm the ones that didn't eat the poison directly.
Oh well, there’s always Aids I suppose.
I wish I had some sort of momentous event to post on day fifty of our existence here but, sadly I do not. Actually, that’s probably a good thing since, anything newsworthy these days always seems to be incredibly bad news. Like a death, or explosion, or nuclear meltdown.
Would be nice if I could write down that we found a cure, that also cures cancer, and turns mosquitoes into cupcakes. But alas, that is a different story I think.
Sticking with the Aids theme from yesterday, we decided to see if we could mass poison the bastards still skulking about my house.
This was a bad idea.
Because first we had to figure out how to poison them. Which we accomplished by shooting a couple below my bedroom window and then dumping incredible amounts of toilet bowl cleaner, and bleach, and whatever else we thought might kill them.
Sure enough, regardless of the poison, the ex-humes ate their dead and this is where it got bad.
The ones that ate it didn’t die right away like the movies. They started foaming at the mouth and making horrible sounds that could never be explained with a pen. Eventually they started to convulse at which point healthy ex-humes would pounce on them.
Depressing.
And ineffective because it didn't harm the ones that didn't eat the poison directly.
Oh well, there’s always Aids I suppose.
Day Forty Nine:
Day Forty Nine:
Aj asked me if I thought that he could have got Aids when that one Ex-hume bled all over him. I never really thought about it until now but, yes. Yes I do think it is possible that the thing could have transferred Aids to him.
This in turn made me wonder if you could get Aids from eating a person. Probably right? Like, if someone had the virus and you ingested mass amounts of their meat you would probably be infected. So, since the Ex-humes love to eat the weak and disabled among them... eventually it stands to reason that the Aids virus will spread through them like the SCARI virus spread through us.
A comforting thought except, Aids isn't as fast acting as Scari and, who knows... maybe Scari is so fucking evil that it just rips the head of the Aids virus and keeps on trucking regardless. We will see.
Aj asked me if I thought that he could have got Aids when that one Ex-hume bled all over him. I never really thought about it until now but, yes. Yes I do think it is possible that the thing could have transferred Aids to him.
This in turn made me wonder if you could get Aids from eating a person. Probably right? Like, if someone had the virus and you ingested mass amounts of their meat you would probably be infected. So, since the Ex-humes love to eat the weak and disabled among them... eventually it stands to reason that the Aids virus will spread through them like the SCARI virus spread through us.
A comforting thought except, Aids isn't as fast acting as Scari and, who knows... maybe Scari is so fucking evil that it just rips the head of the Aids virus and keeps on trucking regardless. We will see.
Day Forty Eight:
Day Forty Eight:
Today I saw an ex-hume cop. I have no idea why someone would still be wearing their gun belt and cop clothes if they clearly knew they were on the brink of death. But outside today there he was. The weird thing was, he was incredibly far away from his patrol area. I actually had to open up a road atlas just to find the town that his uniform said he was from.
I wonder if ex-humes are migratory. Like, are they all just passing through right now? Are they all eventually going to wind up in Florida or, actually I suppose they would all be coming back now since it is starting to warm up. Or maybe they are like salmon and all of them are just shuffling around trying to find whatever hospital they were born in.
If I had the technology know how and skill I would try to tag a couple of them like they do with animals in the wild just so that I could see where they go and more importantly, if there is a certain time of day when the majority of them are inactive.
Today I saw an ex-hume cop. I have no idea why someone would still be wearing their gun belt and cop clothes if they clearly knew they were on the brink of death. But outside today there he was. The weird thing was, he was incredibly far away from his patrol area. I actually had to open up a road atlas just to find the town that his uniform said he was from.
I wonder if ex-humes are migratory. Like, are they all just passing through right now? Are they all eventually going to wind up in Florida or, actually I suppose they would all be coming back now since it is starting to warm up. Or maybe they are like salmon and all of them are just shuffling around trying to find whatever hospital they were born in.
If I had the technology know how and skill I would try to tag a couple of them like they do with animals in the wild just so that I could see where they go and more importantly, if there is a certain time of day when the majority of them are inactive.
Day Forty Seven:
Day Forty Seven:
Its starting to be more and more rare to see an ex-hume wearing clothes. Even just shredded destroyed filthy clothes. Pretty soon the world is just going to look like one violent bloody orgy to the untrained eye. Sort of odd to see the women with the extensions and implants and credit card perfection rooting in the mud along with all the other savages.
On a less doom and gloom note, AJ came up with the idea today that maybe we could cure them if we injected them with our blood. His theory is that since their blood didn’t take over his, maybe that means our blood is stronger somehow and can overtake theirs.
I don’t know.
I’m pretty sure you don’t cure a cold by finding a healthy person and becoming their blood brother but, what do we have to lose right? Well actually, we have a lot to lose because in order to bring this idea to fruition we will need a needle to get the blood, then some type of delivery system like, a blood filled tranquilizer gun or a pneumatic throwing dart.
Basically, we need things that would require us to leave our safety area and which would require us to be James Bond. As of now, the idea seems to risky. Give it three days though, when we are extremely bored and are sick of playing Checkers or Chess or Monopoly for the 9 trillionth time. Three days and we’ll probably be tripping over ourselves to get out that door and save the world.
Salvation through idiot science. Sounds ridiculous but, it managed to save the world once when it discovered penicillin. So who knows.
Its starting to be more and more rare to see an ex-hume wearing clothes. Even just shredded destroyed filthy clothes. Pretty soon the world is just going to look like one violent bloody orgy to the untrained eye. Sort of odd to see the women with the extensions and implants and credit card perfection rooting in the mud along with all the other savages.
On a less doom and gloom note, AJ came up with the idea today that maybe we could cure them if we injected them with our blood. His theory is that since their blood didn’t take over his, maybe that means our blood is stronger somehow and can overtake theirs.
I don’t know.
I’m pretty sure you don’t cure a cold by finding a healthy person and becoming their blood brother but, what do we have to lose right? Well actually, we have a lot to lose because in order to bring this idea to fruition we will need a needle to get the blood, then some type of delivery system like, a blood filled tranquilizer gun or a pneumatic throwing dart.
Basically, we need things that would require us to leave our safety area and which would require us to be James Bond. As of now, the idea seems to risky. Give it three days though, when we are extremely bored and are sick of playing Checkers or Chess or Monopoly for the 9 trillionth time. Three days and we’ll probably be tripping over ourselves to get out that door and save the world.
Salvation through idiot science. Sounds ridiculous but, it managed to save the world once when it discovered penicillin. So who knows.
Day Forty Six:
Day Forty Six:
Today AJ and I had an in depth discussion about where we thought the Scari disease came from.
He believes that it is all due to global warming. According to him, the disease was frozen in a layer of permafrost or something somewhere and when the temperatures heated up just enough, it was released. I asked him how it was able to spread so quickly or even, infect someone if it was released way up in the Artic and he wasn't sure.
He did say that maybe it had happened before and that is where the Werewolf myth comes from. Maybe back in the day this thing infected a small town or something and the locals managed to ward it off somehow and in turn, told stories about a creature that turned from a human into a savage beast.
Who knows.
I said it was probably just another mutation. Avian Flu, Swine Flu, maybe this is just the Ex-hume flu except, its permanent in its brain damage.
Doesn't really matter I suppose. Whether it was a government conspiracy or, just some bizarre accidental creation in a box of girlscout cookies, the world is still mostly wrecked. Still, as long as there are humans left on this planet there will be people wondering why.
Today AJ and I had an in depth discussion about where we thought the Scari disease came from.
He believes that it is all due to global warming. According to him, the disease was frozen in a layer of permafrost or something somewhere and when the temperatures heated up just enough, it was released. I asked him how it was able to spread so quickly or even, infect someone if it was released way up in the Artic and he wasn't sure.
He did say that maybe it had happened before and that is where the Werewolf myth comes from. Maybe back in the day this thing infected a small town or something and the locals managed to ward it off somehow and in turn, told stories about a creature that turned from a human into a savage beast.
Who knows.
I said it was probably just another mutation. Avian Flu, Swine Flu, maybe this is just the Ex-hume flu except, its permanent in its brain damage.
Doesn't really matter I suppose. Whether it was a government conspiracy or, just some bizarre accidental creation in a box of girlscout cookies, the world is still mostly wrecked. Still, as long as there are humans left on this planet there will be people wondering why.
Day Forty Five:
Day Forty Five:
After spending countless hours reinforcing our car, the house, the ceiling, the garage, the windows, the windows again just in case, the everything... you know what almost killed us?
The old Santa Claus escape route.
AJ and I were in the kitchen eating some sandwiches when all of a sudden there arose such a clatter. No seriously though, it was a lot of noise. For me it was the first time I got to hear one of them screaming or mewling or whatever the fuck you call their insane sound up close and personal.
Hanging upside down with its livid face peering out of my closed fireplace was an ex-hume that had thought it had found a secret ticket for free meals-ville.
This is where you might think we are stupid. Because in the movies, there are all sorts of ways you could use this to your advantage, and work on a cure, and study its patterns, and then the thing escapes and rips out your throat.
So after watching it for a good 15 seconds, I put a bullet through its evil little face and we spent the next few hours disinfecting the fireplace along with boarding it up nice and tight. Sorry Santa, sorry horrible mutant human bastards.
On the plus side we are alive. An oversight like that is all it takes to get one or both of us killed so after this little snafu we went room to room making damn sure everything was still ship shape.
Why am I talking like that? Ship shape? Really? Maybe a little later I can figure out a way to work in some words like yo-ho-ho (Actually that would have worked well with the Santa references) or maybe that I didn't like the cut of their jib whatever that means.
What a day.
After spending countless hours reinforcing our car, the house, the ceiling, the garage, the windows, the windows again just in case, the everything... you know what almost killed us?
The old Santa Claus escape route.
AJ and I were in the kitchen eating some sandwiches when all of a sudden there arose such a clatter. No seriously though, it was a lot of noise. For me it was the first time I got to hear one of them screaming or mewling or whatever the fuck you call their insane sound up close and personal.
Hanging upside down with its livid face peering out of my closed fireplace was an ex-hume that had thought it had found a secret ticket for free meals-ville.
This is where you might think we are stupid. Because in the movies, there are all sorts of ways you could use this to your advantage, and work on a cure, and study its patterns, and then the thing escapes and rips out your throat.
So after watching it for a good 15 seconds, I put a bullet through its evil little face and we spent the next few hours disinfecting the fireplace along with boarding it up nice and tight. Sorry Santa, sorry horrible mutant human bastards.
On the plus side we are alive. An oversight like that is all it takes to get one or both of us killed so after this little snafu we went room to room making damn sure everything was still ship shape.
Why am I talking like that? Ship shape? Really? Maybe a little later I can figure out a way to work in some words like yo-ho-ho (Actually that would have worked well with the Santa references) or maybe that I didn't like the cut of their jib whatever that means.
What a day.
Day Forty Four:
Day Forty Four:
The amount of bones littered in front of my house is staggering. It looks like someone stuck a grenade inside an Indian Burial ground. I don't know how they devoured so much, but they must have waited until we went to sleep to munch on the bodies in the front of the death hill.
There are still quite a few wandering around in front of our house that we could shoot but what’s the point? Probably should start thinking about conserving ammo in case they suddenly figure out a way to mobilize their numbers and lay siege to our house.
I would write more but, sometimes this shit depresses me and rather than help... this journal just serves as a reminder of how fucked we actually are. Forty four days doesn't seem like all that long, but in a situation like this it lasts at least five lifetimes.
The amount of bones littered in front of my house is staggering. It looks like someone stuck a grenade inside an Indian Burial ground. I don't know how they devoured so much, but they must have waited until we went to sleep to munch on the bodies in the front of the death hill.
There are still quite a few wandering around in front of our house that we could shoot but what’s the point? Probably should start thinking about conserving ammo in case they suddenly figure out a way to mobilize their numbers and lay siege to our house.
I would write more but, sometimes this shit depresses me and rather than help... this journal just serves as a reminder of how fucked we actually are. Forty four days doesn't seem like all that long, but in a situation like this it lasts at least five lifetimes.
Day Forty Three:
Day Forty Three:
Aj's arm seems better. Surprise surprise, now Keflex is able to add "cures society destroying virus" to its endless list of things it can heal.
We spent the day shooting every single Ex-hume we could see. Figured that maybe if we could show them that we are still the dominant species then they might give us a wide berth. I kept count at first, but after we got up around 300 I didn't see the point anymore.
Same as before, kill one and two will come to eat it. Kill them, and the process repeats itself. After a few hours, the pile of death was enormous. When we got up to around 600, we started running out of targets. The middle of the carnage must have been 15 feet high with at least a 30 foot diameter. Problem with that is, eventually they figured out that if they stayed behind the mound, they could eat all they wanted without getting shot.
For the most they were right. Towards the end of the slaughter we started to switch from the high powered scope weapons and use the weaker revolvers and assorted handguns. Almost like we were playing a murderous game of HORSE where AJ would headshot one of the beasts from say, 100 yards away and then challenge me to do the same.
When we tired of the killing, Aj suggested we set the whole damn thing on fire but the risk of it spreading to our house, coupled with the unbearable stench that would ensue made this option seem unreasonable. Looking back on it now, I feel sort of stupid. Because all it is going to do is attract more of them. But sometimes, even a losing fight is enough to boost morale. And we are in desperate need of that.
Aj's arm seems better. Surprise surprise, now Keflex is able to add "cures society destroying virus" to its endless list of things it can heal.
We spent the day shooting every single Ex-hume we could see. Figured that maybe if we could show them that we are still the dominant species then they might give us a wide berth. I kept count at first, but after we got up around 300 I didn't see the point anymore.
Same as before, kill one and two will come to eat it. Kill them, and the process repeats itself. After a few hours, the pile of death was enormous. When we got up to around 600, we started running out of targets. The middle of the carnage must have been 15 feet high with at least a 30 foot diameter. Problem with that is, eventually they figured out that if they stayed behind the mound, they could eat all they wanted without getting shot.
For the most they were right. Towards the end of the slaughter we started to switch from the high powered scope weapons and use the weaker revolvers and assorted handguns. Almost like we were playing a murderous game of HORSE where AJ would headshot one of the beasts from say, 100 yards away and then challenge me to do the same.
When we tired of the killing, Aj suggested we set the whole damn thing on fire but the risk of it spreading to our house, coupled with the unbearable stench that would ensue made this option seem unreasonable. Looking back on it now, I feel sort of stupid. Because all it is going to do is attract more of them. But sometimes, even a losing fight is enough to boost morale. And we are in desperate need of that.
Day Forty Two:
Day Forty Two:
Today was the first day we started noticing the smell. Before all this happened, I always figured there would be some pretty nasty smells if everyone just up and turned into a zombie or dead. But, since these things eat everything they can find... rotting flesh isn't the problem.
The problem is that there are at least 400 of them outside I can see which probably means there are at least 1000 total, and not a God damn one of them is potty trained. Watch, AJ and I will survive the initial war only to be consumed by some new type of black plague that comes about as a result of all this open untreated sewage sitting in the streets and yards around us.
Makes me wish they sold Febreeze in a bathtub size deodorizer.
Today was the first day we started noticing the smell. Before all this happened, I always figured there would be some pretty nasty smells if everyone just up and turned into a zombie or dead. But, since these things eat everything they can find... rotting flesh isn't the problem.
The problem is that there are at least 400 of them outside I can see which probably means there are at least 1000 total, and not a God damn one of them is potty trained. Watch, AJ and I will survive the initial war only to be consumed by some new type of black plague that comes about as a result of all this open untreated sewage sitting in the streets and yards around us.
Makes me wish they sold Febreeze in a bathtub size deodorizer.
Day Forty One:
Day Forty One:
It rained today. When I was a kid my grandma always used to say. "Trouble will rain on those who are already wet." I don't know where she got that from, or who originally said it but I think she knew what she was talking about.
Because today we got soaked.
For starters, I think AJ's arm is infected. We spent so much time worrying about him turning into some type of blood thirsty mutant that we forgot to worry about fun little problems from the past like gangrene and staph and whatever other myriad of slow death might be growing in his shoulder.
I've got a ton of medicine that I took from the drugstore before everything started getting really crazy. I can't remember if I already wrote about that or not, but if not. Yeah, in addition to my army surplus I've got a junkies dream medicine cabinet or rather, medicine trunk here.
But, all the medicine in the world doesn't really mean that much if you don't know what to do with it and unfortunately I don't. My solution has always been to throw antibiotics like Keflex at any problem you might have though. Got a cold, take some Keflex. Strep throat? Take some Keflex. Broke your arm, here's some Keflex. Got a flat tire, maybe Keflex will help. So, hopefully that will work for AJ too. Otherwise we will have to proceed with a more aggressive treatment plan which will involve me throwing a dart at the box and making him take whatever medicine it hits.
On top of that problem, my ceiling is also leaking pretty bad. Normally this wouldn't be any reason for panic except, my roof has never leaked. And now suddenly it is leaking in about 15 different places. This means those things are slowly but surely working there way through and now they've got mother nature helping them. AJ and I spent a good deal of time today loading a massive chunk of our food surplus and other items into the Jeep.
Just in case. Better safe than sorry you know?
Also spent some time trying to strengthen the ceiling even more but no matter what we do it feels like if anything gets to what we've built, it will only maybe serve as a way to slow them down a little while warning us to get our asses in high gear and relocate to somewhere less hostile.
So by about four P.M. we were already facing the loss of our comfortable and previously seemingly well protected home, along with the possibility of our happy little friend circle decreasing by 50%. After those happy conclusions, you know what happened?
If you guessed something horrible, you would be right. And just to save the suspense for the next time you feel like guessing, it will always be something horrible if I make you guess.
We thought that all we might have to do is stay inside for a little while. Whether that meant a couple months or even as long as one or two years, we could beat these fuckers through attrition. Because eventually winter will come and take a huge bite out of there numbers, along with the multiple ones we shoot on a daily basis just because.
Eventually their numbers will run out right?
Wrong.
Because today the rain must be the primal version of mood music since we witnessed no less that three different groups having incredibly violent rape sex throughout the day. Although, I don't know if its rape anymore. I've never watched the discovery channel and listened as the narrator said "And at this point, the male lion will rape the living hell out of the unwillingly lioness and thus his seed will be carried on"
The problem as AJ sees it isn't the fact that in 9 months there will be more of them, but that their kids will be trained from birth to be carnivores and thus, much better hunters. Of course, I argued that the mothers will probably just eat their kids since they seem to eat everything else, or once the preggers start to enter the morning sickness slow fat and round phase, the other ex-humes will probably rip them apart.
Unlike normal, he didn't argue but after some thought said that I might be right.
Imagine that.
It rained today. When I was a kid my grandma always used to say. "Trouble will rain on those who are already wet." I don't know where she got that from, or who originally said it but I think she knew what she was talking about.
Because today we got soaked.
For starters, I think AJ's arm is infected. We spent so much time worrying about him turning into some type of blood thirsty mutant that we forgot to worry about fun little problems from the past like gangrene and staph and whatever other myriad of slow death might be growing in his shoulder.
I've got a ton of medicine that I took from the drugstore before everything started getting really crazy. I can't remember if I already wrote about that or not, but if not. Yeah, in addition to my army surplus I've got a junkies dream medicine cabinet or rather, medicine trunk here.
But, all the medicine in the world doesn't really mean that much if you don't know what to do with it and unfortunately I don't. My solution has always been to throw antibiotics like Keflex at any problem you might have though. Got a cold, take some Keflex. Strep throat? Take some Keflex. Broke your arm, here's some Keflex. Got a flat tire, maybe Keflex will help. So, hopefully that will work for AJ too. Otherwise we will have to proceed with a more aggressive treatment plan which will involve me throwing a dart at the box and making him take whatever medicine it hits.
On top of that problem, my ceiling is also leaking pretty bad. Normally this wouldn't be any reason for panic except, my roof has never leaked. And now suddenly it is leaking in about 15 different places. This means those things are slowly but surely working there way through and now they've got mother nature helping them. AJ and I spent a good deal of time today loading a massive chunk of our food surplus and other items into the Jeep.
Just in case. Better safe than sorry you know?
Also spent some time trying to strengthen the ceiling even more but no matter what we do it feels like if anything gets to what we've built, it will only maybe serve as a way to slow them down a little while warning us to get our asses in high gear and relocate to somewhere less hostile.
So by about four P.M. we were already facing the loss of our comfortable and previously seemingly well protected home, along with the possibility of our happy little friend circle decreasing by 50%. After those happy conclusions, you know what happened?
If you guessed something horrible, you would be right. And just to save the suspense for the next time you feel like guessing, it will always be something horrible if I make you guess.
We thought that all we might have to do is stay inside for a little while. Whether that meant a couple months or even as long as one or two years, we could beat these fuckers through attrition. Because eventually winter will come and take a huge bite out of there numbers, along with the multiple ones we shoot on a daily basis just because.
Eventually their numbers will run out right?
Wrong.
Because today the rain must be the primal version of mood music since we witnessed no less that three different groups having incredibly violent rape sex throughout the day. Although, I don't know if its rape anymore. I've never watched the discovery channel and listened as the narrator said "And at this point, the male lion will rape the living hell out of the unwillingly lioness and thus his seed will be carried on"
The problem as AJ sees it isn't the fact that in 9 months there will be more of them, but that their kids will be trained from birth to be carnivores and thus, much better hunters. Of course, I argued that the mothers will probably just eat their kids since they seem to eat everything else, or once the preggers start to enter the morning sickness slow fat and round phase, the other ex-humes will probably rip them apart.
Unlike normal, he didn't argue but after some thought said that I might be right.
Imagine that.
Day Forty:
Day Forty:
Today AJ suggested I try writing poetry or haikus to help me relax. I told him poetry is for girls and he just gave me one of his looks so I said I would give it a try. Here is my favorite so far:
This isn't a dream
We are not going to wake up
Our living nightmare
Or
Everywhere I look
I see a familiar face
That wants to kill me
I showed them to AJ and I guess I was missing the point since he just shook his head and raised his hands in defeat. Fortunately, that gesture was enough to make me laugh which made him laugh and yeah, our prison is a little brighter.
We talked over some plans of what we should do. He suggested that we could probably make the majority of the ex-humes leave if we left the generator off for a few days and tried to exist in silence. I thought about it and although it makes some sense since, most animals wouldn't stick around if they thought their food was gone.
However, for all we know they can smell us now. Or smell the food I have stockpiled in here.
Worst come to worst though, at least it is one option to try although... as boring as a normal day is, I can't really bear to think how crazy I might go if I had to stay quiet for 3 days or so.
Silence made of gold
Behold the wealthy quiet
Behold sheer boredom
I asked AJ if he thought we could kill the majority of those things outside my house. He wasn't sure but judging by his previous psychopathic tendencies, I think we might have something to occupy our time similar to the celebrity sniper bit from the new Dawn of the Dead movie.
While I was still thinking about slow motion head shots, AJ said, "It would be better if we could just poison them, then the ones that ate them would die too. One big vicious cycle of death."
I told AJ that if we ever find some sort of survivor colony, and then learn to play instruments... we are starting a band and naming it "Vicious Death Cycle". Our album cover would be a handgun riding a motorcycle, and our songs would be nothing but death metal haikus.
If this were a movie, I would expect Ace of Spades by Motorhead to be playing during the montage of us forming the band and making it BIG TIME in the post apocalyptic uninfected human colony. Since its not a movie, the hardest thing I could find to play in the background while I write this is Collective Soul's song "Shine". Oh well.
Today AJ suggested I try writing poetry or haikus to help me relax. I told him poetry is for girls and he just gave me one of his looks so I said I would give it a try. Here is my favorite so far:
This isn't a dream
We are not going to wake up
Our living nightmare
Or
Everywhere I look
I see a familiar face
That wants to kill me
I showed them to AJ and I guess I was missing the point since he just shook his head and raised his hands in defeat. Fortunately, that gesture was enough to make me laugh which made him laugh and yeah, our prison is a little brighter.
We talked over some plans of what we should do. He suggested that we could probably make the majority of the ex-humes leave if we left the generator off for a few days and tried to exist in silence. I thought about it and although it makes some sense since, most animals wouldn't stick around if they thought their food was gone.
However, for all we know they can smell us now. Or smell the food I have stockpiled in here.
Worst come to worst though, at least it is one option to try although... as boring as a normal day is, I can't really bear to think how crazy I might go if I had to stay quiet for 3 days or so.
Silence made of gold
Behold the wealthy quiet
Behold sheer boredom
I asked AJ if he thought we could kill the majority of those things outside my house. He wasn't sure but judging by his previous psychopathic tendencies, I think we might have something to occupy our time similar to the celebrity sniper bit from the new Dawn of the Dead movie.
While I was still thinking about slow motion head shots, AJ said, "It would be better if we could just poison them, then the ones that ate them would die too. One big vicious cycle of death."
I told AJ that if we ever find some sort of survivor colony, and then learn to play instruments... we are starting a band and naming it "Vicious Death Cycle". Our album cover would be a handgun riding a motorcycle, and our songs would be nothing but death metal haikus.
If this were a movie, I would expect Ace of Spades by Motorhead to be playing during the montage of us forming the band and making it BIG TIME in the post apocalyptic uninfected human colony. Since its not a movie, the hardest thing I could find to play in the background while I write this is Collective Soul's song "Shine". Oh well.
Day Thirty Nine:
Day Thirty Nine:
Remember the first time you watched Mad Max 2 and thought shit, that looks awesome! I can't wait for the world to fall apart!
Maybe not, but I did. I would watch movies like that and romanticize how great it would be to get back to our survivor/hunter roots you know? Like I somehow would be able to skin a deer and plant some corn the same way all women everywhere are flip a switch inside that instantly turns them from bar slut party girl to PTA super mom the second they squirt out a kid.
Here's the thing though, the apocalypse sucks.
I wrote about this earlier in relation to how boring it is. Because even with thousands of teeth waiting to rip me to pieces, you can only be scared for so long. Then you realize that you're pretty much just under house arrest. House arrest without cable or the internet.
House arrest without any really decent food.
House arrest in the fucking 1700's.
You know what Mad Max should have done when he went Beyond Thunderdome? TURNED THE FUCK AROUND. Because compared to the rest of the world Thunderdome looks amazing.
AJ keeps telling me I need to look on the bright side. That’s right, the guy who might have a brain crippling neurotoxin coursing through his veins is in a better mood that me. Maybe he has a point. Now that I've helped save AJ, it wouldn't make much sense for me to keep whining until he decided that he'd be better off being eaten alive.
So lets think of something positive.
Hmmmmmmmmm
I didn't write about it earlier but, a few days ago I found a twenty dollar bill in my pocket that I didn't know was there. And that is always a good feeling.
Or at least it was, until the economy of the entire world reset to zero.
Sorry, still negative.
One more time.
Today I didn't get murdered.
HOORAY!
Remember the first time you watched Mad Max 2 and thought shit, that looks awesome! I can't wait for the world to fall apart!
Maybe not, but I did. I would watch movies like that and romanticize how great it would be to get back to our survivor/hunter roots you know? Like I somehow would be able to skin a deer and plant some corn the same way all women everywhere are flip a switch inside that instantly turns them from bar slut party girl to PTA super mom the second they squirt out a kid.
Here's the thing though, the apocalypse sucks.
I wrote about this earlier in relation to how boring it is. Because even with thousands of teeth waiting to rip me to pieces, you can only be scared for so long. Then you realize that you're pretty much just under house arrest. House arrest without cable or the internet.
House arrest without any really decent food.
House arrest in the fucking 1700's.
You know what Mad Max should have done when he went Beyond Thunderdome? TURNED THE FUCK AROUND. Because compared to the rest of the world Thunderdome looks amazing.
AJ keeps telling me I need to look on the bright side. That’s right, the guy who might have a brain crippling neurotoxin coursing through his veins is in a better mood that me. Maybe he has a point. Now that I've helped save AJ, it wouldn't make much sense for me to keep whining until he decided that he'd be better off being eaten alive.
So lets think of something positive.
Hmmmmmmmmm
I didn't write about it earlier but, a few days ago I found a twenty dollar bill in my pocket that I didn't know was there. And that is always a good feeling.
Or at least it was, until the economy of the entire world reset to zero.
Sorry, still negative.
One more time.
Today I didn't get murdered.
HOORAY!
Day Thirty Eight:
Day Thirty Eight:
AJ still appears healthy, and is still willing to argue with me over his insistence on being handcuffed whenever he is left alone or asleep. I hope he doesn’t decide that a blood infection might actually slow the spread of the virus because if he does, I will have to deal with this stupid shit for the next year or years.
He asked me what I thought we should do now and I said “You’re looking at it”. Apparently he is the type of person who would continue to work and make the world a better place if he won the lottery. I on the other hand am a firm believer in watching T.V. and doing nothing. Are there other survivors? Maybe.
But with each new person we bring into the fold, our chance of survival drastically drops. Whether its because we have to put ourselves at risk to find them, or risk a diminishing food supply, or even just the chance that we accidentally pick up someone that somehow winds up harming us while we are busy trying to fend off the ex-humes.
How typical would that be. We find a survivor, develop an attraction to them, and then one of us winds up dying of AIDs as a result. Sorry SCARI virus, you’re not the only horrible disease that can kill us on this planet.
I’m not saying I won’t eventually want to look for other non-infecteds but, it would be more to relieve boredom than save humanity. I say, let those things fend for themselves out in the wild for another month or so. Wait until their massive herd numbers have thinned and then start some type of expedition party. Doesn’t make any sense to try to cross a creek bed during a flash flood unless there is a dire reason for you to do so.
And believe me, boredom is not that reason.
AJ still appears healthy, and is still willing to argue with me over his insistence on being handcuffed whenever he is left alone or asleep. I hope he doesn’t decide that a blood infection might actually slow the spread of the virus because if he does, I will have to deal with this stupid shit for the next year or years.
He asked me what I thought we should do now and I said “You’re looking at it”. Apparently he is the type of person who would continue to work and make the world a better place if he won the lottery. I on the other hand am a firm believer in watching T.V. and doing nothing. Are there other survivors? Maybe.
But with each new person we bring into the fold, our chance of survival drastically drops. Whether its because we have to put ourselves at risk to find them, or risk a diminishing food supply, or even just the chance that we accidentally pick up someone that somehow winds up harming us while we are busy trying to fend off the ex-humes.
How typical would that be. We find a survivor, develop an attraction to them, and then one of us winds up dying of AIDs as a result. Sorry SCARI virus, you’re not the only horrible disease that can kill us on this planet.
I’m not saying I won’t eventually want to look for other non-infecteds but, it would be more to relieve boredom than save humanity. I say, let those things fend for themselves out in the wild for another month or so. Wait until their massive herd numbers have thinned and then start some type of expedition party. Doesn’t make any sense to try to cross a creek bed during a flash flood unless there is a dire reason for you to do so.
And believe me, boredom is not that reason.
Day Thirty Seven:
Day Thirty Seven:
AJ is scared. I keep trying to tell him that if he was immune once he will probably be immune twice but, he seems to think that since the thing's blood got into his open wound when I shot it that he is a goner. So much so that he revealed his big secret to me since he is convinced that by tomorrow he will start turning into them.
Remember weeks ago when there was that psycho cutting up the ex-humes and leaving their decapitated mutilated bodies all over town. Yeah well, while reading this you might have already figured this out but it was still quite a shock when he revealed that he did that.
What you might not know is that he also killed his entire family before they could escape and roam the streets after they became infected.
Before any of this happened I would have thought that you would have to be a monster to do any of that let alone all of it. Now I know better. Because if AJ does turn, I will have lost the only connection I have to the world. If that happens, I know my first reaction will be anger and more than likely I will use every weapon in my arsenal to kill every last one of those fuckers.
However, before that I would have to kill him and I honestly don’t think I could do that. Then again, I am sure AJ never thought he could kill his family. But at some point he must have realized that his family was already dead and he was just breaking open the shell they were trapped in to set them free.
Once again, I am getting too deep.
Right now AJ is making preparations to handcuff himself to something before going to bed. I argued that the disease was slow and even if he was infected it wasn’t something that would spring open on us. He replied with “We have never had any first had experience with someone who has been infected through blood. Better safe than sorry.”
At this point, if I had to being all alone and safe, or being dead and sorry… I don’t know which I would choose.
AJ is scared. I keep trying to tell him that if he was immune once he will probably be immune twice but, he seems to think that since the thing's blood got into his open wound when I shot it that he is a goner. So much so that he revealed his big secret to me since he is convinced that by tomorrow he will start turning into them.
Remember weeks ago when there was that psycho cutting up the ex-humes and leaving their decapitated mutilated bodies all over town. Yeah well, while reading this you might have already figured this out but it was still quite a shock when he revealed that he did that.
What you might not know is that he also killed his entire family before they could escape and roam the streets after they became infected.
Before any of this happened I would have thought that you would have to be a monster to do any of that let alone all of it. Now I know better. Because if AJ does turn, I will have lost the only connection I have to the world. If that happens, I know my first reaction will be anger and more than likely I will use every weapon in my arsenal to kill every last one of those fuckers.
However, before that I would have to kill him and I honestly don’t think I could do that. Then again, I am sure AJ never thought he could kill his family. But at some point he must have realized that his family was already dead and he was just breaking open the shell they were trapped in to set them free.
Once again, I am getting too deep.
Right now AJ is making preparations to handcuff himself to something before going to bed. I argued that the disease was slow and even if he was infected it wasn’t something that would spring open on us. He replied with “We have never had any first had experience with someone who has been infected through blood. Better safe than sorry.”
At this point, if I had to being all alone and safe, or being dead and sorry… I don’t know which I would choose.
Day Thirty Six:
Day Thirty Six:
Shot the church bell today. Took me four tries and four different two liter bottles but, eventually I hit the fucker and for once something seemed to go our way since as soon as the bell clanged... the majority of ex-humes started ambling over that way in the hopes of finding a tasty meal.
Once they started to congregate over there, I picked off a few with my new silenced rifle and while they were busy exploring and eating, I managed to slip out my garage door with only a few of them any the wiser. One tried to block my car but, he met the same fate that any human would if they tried to stop several hundred pounds of metal.
Got the garage closed without a hitch and the drive to AJ's was uneventful as well. Before I arrived he managed to kill a bunch of them near the back of his house and that appeared like it would be enough to keep the small street horde busy until he got out of there and into my car.
Here is where things got a little scary.
After making it into my car he started to put his seat belt on and just as I started to put the car into drive he yells "Wait!" and went running back into his house. No, I am not making this up. I wouldn't want to make this up. Because something like this only makes you dislike a person. And when that person is the last person on the planet, the last thing you want to do is dislike them.
So I sat on the street while he ran back into the house to turn the lights off, or make sure he didn't leave the oven on, or I didn't really know at the time but I assumed it was idiotic. When he came back he had a picture of his dead family which confirmed by previous remark about idiocy. Its one of those surreal moments where if you don't actually have something this fucking stupid happen to you, you would say "No way would that ever happen".
But then it happens and you are tempted to honk the horn just so that the distracted ex-humes will show up and eat your friend since he is a tool.
Fortunately for AJ, I am not that big of an asshole. Unfortunately for AJ, as he was running out of the house FOR A SECOND TIME he must have piqued one of their interests since no sooner was he five feet out of his house than an ex-hume popped around the corner and started bearing down on him.
At that point I aimed my gun and shot or, would have shot but I forgot to take the safety off. As I struggled to figured out why my gun wasn't working, AJ oblivious to the world continued his beeline for the Jeep while the creature continued to close the distance to him.
I figured out how to switch the safety off just as the thing lept for AJ. My gun was up and aiming which caused AJ to stop dead in his tracks since the fool thought I was aiming at him. Yeah AJ, I left the confines and safety of my home, to come all the way out here and murder you even though you would have been dead in a few days from starvation.
Anyway, even though AJ stopped the ex-hume didn't and managed to knock him to the ground and take a little bite out of his shoulder. At the same moment, I fired a round that added an extra very bloody hole to the creature’s head.
So now, I've got AJ screaming on the ground, a dead ex-hume lying next to him, and since I fired a gun... every ex-hume within a five mile radius trying to get to where we were. I told AJ that he had 5 seconds to shut the fuck up and get in my car before I took off and left him there. He got the message and as he closed the door, the first of what must have been an impressive wave of those savages began rounding the street corner.
Rather than risk blowing a tire on one of their skulls, I flipped a bitch and started driving in the opposite direction. A few gave chase but were quickly distracted by the fresh meal on AJ's lawn.
Now we are back at my house. Managed to get rid of all the ex-humes by my house by driving into a few parked cars down the street from me. After hitting the third one a loud annoying car alarm started to blare loudly enough to attract the unwelcome visitors.
So here we are, two lost souls trying to make a go of it in a collapsed world. With a little bit of luck AJ's shoulder won't get all gross and infected. I was worried a little bit about him turning into an ex-hume but hopefully since we are immune to the airborne shit, we will be immune to other forms of transmission as well.
And if not, well... he shouldn't have gone back for a stupid picture.
Shot the church bell today. Took me four tries and four different two liter bottles but, eventually I hit the fucker and for once something seemed to go our way since as soon as the bell clanged... the majority of ex-humes started ambling over that way in the hopes of finding a tasty meal.
Once they started to congregate over there, I picked off a few with my new silenced rifle and while they were busy exploring and eating, I managed to slip out my garage door with only a few of them any the wiser. One tried to block my car but, he met the same fate that any human would if they tried to stop several hundred pounds of metal.
Got the garage closed without a hitch and the drive to AJ's was uneventful as well. Before I arrived he managed to kill a bunch of them near the back of his house and that appeared like it would be enough to keep the small street horde busy until he got out of there and into my car.
Here is where things got a little scary.
After making it into my car he started to put his seat belt on and just as I started to put the car into drive he yells "Wait!" and went running back into his house. No, I am not making this up. I wouldn't want to make this up. Because something like this only makes you dislike a person. And when that person is the last person on the planet, the last thing you want to do is dislike them.
So I sat on the street while he ran back into the house to turn the lights off, or make sure he didn't leave the oven on, or I didn't really know at the time but I assumed it was idiotic. When he came back he had a picture of his dead family which confirmed by previous remark about idiocy. Its one of those surreal moments where if you don't actually have something this fucking stupid happen to you, you would say "No way would that ever happen".
But then it happens and you are tempted to honk the horn just so that the distracted ex-humes will show up and eat your friend since he is a tool.
Fortunately for AJ, I am not that big of an asshole. Unfortunately for AJ, as he was running out of the house FOR A SECOND TIME he must have piqued one of their interests since no sooner was he five feet out of his house than an ex-hume popped around the corner and started bearing down on him.
At that point I aimed my gun and shot or, would have shot but I forgot to take the safety off. As I struggled to figured out why my gun wasn't working, AJ oblivious to the world continued his beeline for the Jeep while the creature continued to close the distance to him.
I figured out how to switch the safety off just as the thing lept for AJ. My gun was up and aiming which caused AJ to stop dead in his tracks since the fool thought I was aiming at him. Yeah AJ, I left the confines and safety of my home, to come all the way out here and murder you even though you would have been dead in a few days from starvation.
Anyway, even though AJ stopped the ex-hume didn't and managed to knock him to the ground and take a little bite out of his shoulder. At the same moment, I fired a round that added an extra very bloody hole to the creature’s head.
So now, I've got AJ screaming on the ground, a dead ex-hume lying next to him, and since I fired a gun... every ex-hume within a five mile radius trying to get to where we were. I told AJ that he had 5 seconds to shut the fuck up and get in my car before I took off and left him there. He got the message and as he closed the door, the first of what must have been an impressive wave of those savages began rounding the street corner.
Rather than risk blowing a tire on one of their skulls, I flipped a bitch and started driving in the opposite direction. A few gave chase but were quickly distracted by the fresh meal on AJ's lawn.
Now we are back at my house. Managed to get rid of all the ex-humes by my house by driving into a few parked cars down the street from me. After hitting the third one a loud annoying car alarm started to blare loudly enough to attract the unwelcome visitors.
So here we are, two lost souls trying to make a go of it in a collapsed world. With a little bit of luck AJ's shoulder won't get all gross and infected. I was worried a little bit about him turning into an ex-hume but hopefully since we are immune to the airborne shit, we will be immune to other forms of transmission as well.
And if not, well... he shouldn't have gone back for a stupid picture.
Day Thirty Five:
Day Thirty Five:
Today I went about the arduous task of figuring out how to shoot a gun without making lots of sound. Because I figure that if my goal is to get these creatures away from my house, it doesn't really make sense to pin my hopes on a plan that requires the ex-humes to hear a church bell that would be all but drowned out by a loud ass gun shot.
So I took a handgun and started making a bunch of crappy homemade silencers. If the ATF still existed I am sure that they would be knocking on my door in an attempt to ask me more than a few questions. Actually, the ATF probably are knocking on my door but, more in an attempt to eat me than anything else.
So I first tried shooting my gun through a pillow since that always works in the movies and just makes a little "Pfft" sound. In reality it makes a super loud BOOM along with a murdered pillow. Thanks Hollywood.
After that I tried all sorts of crazy shit. Tried towels, an old hat, a balloon, a potato (Which actually did better than most of the other crap), and apple (mmmm applesauce with bullet filling), and in the end settled on a 2 liter pop bottle. However, before settling on that I learned that if I stuffed a bunch of steel wool that I found in my garage inside the pop bottle, well... even quieter.
Don't get me wrong, it is still loud as hell. But compared to the sound without it, I guess it is silenced, or rather suppressed. When I shot it on the end of my rifle it still did a pretty good job of quieting the sound to the extent that if I manage to line the gun up properly, and am able to see over the pop bottle with the sights, and the bullet doesn't deflect too much when it blows out the back of the pop bottle... I might have a chance.
AJ is now officially out of food so we have decided that tomorrow morning I will try to hit the church bell and then hopefully, make a mad dash for his house at which point he will shoot a bunch of ex-humes in the street and try to jump onto the roof of my jeep while they are distracted.
Throw in a random explosion and maybe a sword fight and we have all the making for a stellar action movie.
Seriously though, if this doesn't work he is more than likely dead. Or if I chicken out, he is dead. Or if I make an effort and they get me, dead. So hopefully, we will manage to avoid death by some miracle.
And hopefully whatever miracle granting deity is flying around that day won't be too pissed off at their shot up church bell.
Today I went about the arduous task of figuring out how to shoot a gun without making lots of sound. Because I figure that if my goal is to get these creatures away from my house, it doesn't really make sense to pin my hopes on a plan that requires the ex-humes to hear a church bell that would be all but drowned out by a loud ass gun shot.
So I took a handgun and started making a bunch of crappy homemade silencers. If the ATF still existed I am sure that they would be knocking on my door in an attempt to ask me more than a few questions. Actually, the ATF probably are knocking on my door but, more in an attempt to eat me than anything else.
So I first tried shooting my gun through a pillow since that always works in the movies and just makes a little "Pfft" sound. In reality it makes a super loud BOOM along with a murdered pillow. Thanks Hollywood.
After that I tried all sorts of crazy shit. Tried towels, an old hat, a balloon, a potato (Which actually did better than most of the other crap), and apple (mmmm applesauce with bullet filling), and in the end settled on a 2 liter pop bottle. However, before settling on that I learned that if I stuffed a bunch of steel wool that I found in my garage inside the pop bottle, well... even quieter.
Don't get me wrong, it is still loud as hell. But compared to the sound without it, I guess it is silenced, or rather suppressed. When I shot it on the end of my rifle it still did a pretty good job of quieting the sound to the extent that if I manage to line the gun up properly, and am able to see over the pop bottle with the sights, and the bullet doesn't deflect too much when it blows out the back of the pop bottle... I might have a chance.
AJ is now officially out of food so we have decided that tomorrow morning I will try to hit the church bell and then hopefully, make a mad dash for his house at which point he will shoot a bunch of ex-humes in the street and try to jump onto the roof of my jeep while they are distracted.
Throw in a random explosion and maybe a sword fight and we have all the making for a stellar action movie.
Seriously though, if this doesn't work he is more than likely dead. Or if I chicken out, he is dead. Or if I make an effort and they get me, dead. So hopefully, we will manage to avoid death by some miracle.
And hopefully whatever miracle granting deity is flying around that day won't be too pissed off at their shot up church bell.
Day Thirty Four:
Day Thirty Four:
AJ started crying on the radio today.
I didn't have the slightest clue what to do.
I know most people would say "It'll be ok" and "There there don't worry" but, most people aren't on the verge of either starving to death or being eaten alive. So all I was able to say was "We'll think of something" and I think that I might have actually done just that.
Down the street from me there’s a church. No, my plan isn't to start praying. Because if prayer worked I'm pretty sure mankind wouldn't be walking around on all fours eating the neighbors pets right now.
My plan is to shoot the clock tower bell.
I haven't shot my sniper rifle yet so I will probably be a horrible shot but my hope is that if I can hit the bell enough times I can lure the majority of these bastards over towards it which would give me enough time to open and close my garage door and go save AJ.
The only problem is I don't know how we would distract them on the way back if they decided to congregate around my house again. But even with this question, it seemed to calm AJ down a little bit when he learned that I was planning on some type of rescue.
I hope I find some courage to go through with this tomorrow. I could really use some face to face human companionship. Dvd players and Super Nintendo don't really cut it after a week.
AJ started crying on the radio today.
I didn't have the slightest clue what to do.
I know most people would say "It'll be ok" and "There there don't worry" but, most people aren't on the verge of either starving to death or being eaten alive. So all I was able to say was "We'll think of something" and I think that I might have actually done just that.
Down the street from me there’s a church. No, my plan isn't to start praying. Because if prayer worked I'm pretty sure mankind wouldn't be walking around on all fours eating the neighbors pets right now.
My plan is to shoot the clock tower bell.
I haven't shot my sniper rifle yet so I will probably be a horrible shot but my hope is that if I can hit the bell enough times I can lure the majority of these bastards over towards it which would give me enough time to open and close my garage door and go save AJ.
The only problem is I don't know how we would distract them on the way back if they decided to congregate around my house again. But even with this question, it seemed to calm AJ down a little bit when he learned that I was planning on some type of rescue.
I hope I find some courage to go through with this tomorrow. I could really use some face to face human companionship. Dvd players and Super Nintendo don't really cut it after a week.
Day Thirty Three:
Day Thirty Three:
You know, I wish I had decided to start this journal/diary/whatever with Entry 1: instead of Day 1: since, that would make more sense. Some days things just are, well out of control I guess would be the best way to describe it. So instead of this being Day Thirty Three its probably more like Thirty Five so if anyone ever finds this in the future they would be all confused and wondering why sometimes it seems like way too many things happen at once.
So future reader, if you do find this sorry about that. I think I already explained this once but, yeah.
So what have I been up to you ask? Or rather, the inquisitive voice inside my head asks. Well imaginary self, glad you're interested because I have spent the last two hectic days hauling up all sorts of building material from my basement up to my top floor. With no more stairs, this was a feat in itself.
But, after an enormous effort I like to believe that I have at the very least reinforced the ceiling enough so that if something does happen to get through the roof well, maybe, just maybe my bullshit carpentry will be able to hold them out long enough for me to gather up supplies and get the fuck out of Dodge.
Basically, my entire upper floor now has massive two by fours jutting straight up in the middle of most rooms and providing support for the wood and metal and whatever else I thought might stop creatures hell bent on eating me which is now nailed up to the ceiling.
Seriously, it feels like I spent the last few days turning my once normal upstairs from an apartment building into some sort of mine shaft. Meanwhile, AJ is slowly running out of food and according to him has maybe 2 to 3 days left before he starts to slowly starve to death.
This would be so much easier if I was the hero type who could just say "BRING IT ON!" as I drove through my garage door while wielding a chain-saw out my drivers side window and blasting Metallica's "Master of Puppets" out my window.
Believe me, I really wish I could do that because if I could chances are I could also save the planet from these creatures, along with any rogue asteroids and possibly the reanimated corpse of Hitler.
However, I am someone that is much much better at a game like Hide and Go Seek than I am at say Dodgeball. And in regards to Hide and Go Seek, it is my opinion that I was never that great at the Seeking aspect of the game.
I am working on a way to get out of here and go help but, I am reluctant to do so if the end result of this is me losing both my food source and shelter. Because really, if I abandon that then I will essentially being saving AJ from starvation so that we can both starve to death together. Not exactly the smartest solution.
So as it stands, I know there has to be a solution but... I'm not sure if I will be able to figure it our before AJ's vital functions shut down permanently.
You know, I wish I had decided to start this journal/diary/whatever with Entry 1: instead of Day 1: since, that would make more sense. Some days things just are, well out of control I guess would be the best way to describe it. So instead of this being Day Thirty Three its probably more like Thirty Five so if anyone ever finds this in the future they would be all confused and wondering why sometimes it seems like way too many things happen at once.
So future reader, if you do find this sorry about that. I think I already explained this once but, yeah.
So what have I been up to you ask? Or rather, the inquisitive voice inside my head asks. Well imaginary self, glad you're interested because I have spent the last two hectic days hauling up all sorts of building material from my basement up to my top floor. With no more stairs, this was a feat in itself.
But, after an enormous effort I like to believe that I have at the very least reinforced the ceiling enough so that if something does happen to get through the roof well, maybe, just maybe my bullshit carpentry will be able to hold them out long enough for me to gather up supplies and get the fuck out of Dodge.
Basically, my entire upper floor now has massive two by fours jutting straight up in the middle of most rooms and providing support for the wood and metal and whatever else I thought might stop creatures hell bent on eating me which is now nailed up to the ceiling.
Seriously, it feels like I spent the last few days turning my once normal upstairs from an apartment building into some sort of mine shaft. Meanwhile, AJ is slowly running out of food and according to him has maybe 2 to 3 days left before he starts to slowly starve to death.
This would be so much easier if I was the hero type who could just say "BRING IT ON!" as I drove through my garage door while wielding a chain-saw out my drivers side window and blasting Metallica's "Master of Puppets" out my window.
Believe me, I really wish I could do that because if I could chances are I could also save the planet from these creatures, along with any rogue asteroids and possibly the reanimated corpse of Hitler.
However, I am someone that is much much better at a game like Hide and Go Seek than I am at say Dodgeball. And in regards to Hide and Go Seek, it is my opinion that I was never that great at the Seeking aspect of the game.
I am working on a way to get out of here and go help but, I am reluctant to do so if the end result of this is me losing both my food source and shelter. Because really, if I abandon that then I will essentially being saving AJ from starvation so that we can both starve to death together. Not exactly the smartest solution.
So as it stands, I know there has to be a solution but... I'm not sure if I will be able to figure it our before AJ's vital functions shut down permanently.
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