Day Eighty Two:

Day Eighty Two:

Actually this is sort of days Eighty two/three/four/five/six and might be up to day eighty eight but for the sake of continuity we will say that AJ and I were imprisoned for five days before we escaped. So what went wrong?

Fucking smoke signal wasn’t a smoke signal.

It wasn’t a “Hey friends, come on down”

It was an accident and in no way shape or form was meant to be a beacon of hope or salvation.

Remember earlier when we were worried about Arnold being a slaver/rapist? Well, what we found wasn’t that bad but, it looked like it was headed in the right direction. Actually I guess it would make more sense to say those fucks were headed in the wrong direction but you get what I mean.

I’m getting to far ahead of myself so let me go back to Day Eighty Two for a second and focus on that. We waited all morning to see the smoke again and sometime around 2 or 3 PM it showed up. Later we found out it wasn’t a signal, just lunch. But regardless of that, we drove towards it.

Around 4 PM we got close enough that we could see a house, and PEOPLE! Or at least, we saw figures moving inside the house that were a little hard to make out but Oh my God, we were so excited to see more people. I almost jumped out of the car and went running towards them but thankfully, AJ despite our excitement is always a little more apprehensive.

Its like, where I see a flower, he sees a poisonous plant. Where I see a beautiful bird, he sees Bird Flu. For everything Positive in this world you can bet that AJ has figured out what the Negative aspects are. And thank God for that, because if he hadn’t we would either be dead or worse.

Yes, worse.

Like I was saying, I wanted to go running forward and start the parade but AJ held us back. He suggested that we conceal some supplies or weapons. I told him we already were and he said “No, not in our pockets, in us”.

Whoa there buddy. It’s one thing to carry a gun, but to shove a gun inside yourself might hurt a little. So I was pretty hesitant at first.

Eventually he showed me some spongy case that was shaped like a big oval. I think boaters use them so they don’t lose their keys? Not sure, but anyway it opened and inside you could fit a small amount of stuff. So although a gun was out of the picture, a razor blade, matches, string, and maybe a little more would fit just fine.

Sooooo we had a case, what we didn’t have was a willing participant to shove a fairly unusual object up inside of them. What it basically came down to was, either one of us do that or… one of us hide in the bushes with weapons and supplies while the other drives towards the encampment.

Either become the poor man’s Bear Gryllis or… ew.

We debated this for a while. I tried my best to convince him that these were normal people just like us. He agreed, but also point out that he would rather be safe than sorry. I told him that he should be the one to, well, gross. He said that we wouldn’t do that because of his religion.

Even in the apocalypse afterworld, the religion trump card never ever fails.

So either I would get to be uncomfortable for a few seconds, or possibly spend the night in the woods. His reasoning was, if they turn out to be hunky-dory (He actually said this, I might not remember everything but I remember that) then I could just go to the bathroom and remove our little security blanket. So we would be looking, wait no… so I with a capital ME would be looking at most of like 10 minutes of discomfort.

Otherwise, if one of us stayed in the woods that might look real suspicious should they turn out to be friendly. Oh hello, we mean you no harm. What’s that? Oh yes, that is my friend camped out in the woods with a high powered sniper rifle aimed at your forehead. No, don’t be ridiculous, we are friends!

See the dilemma?

Well, after a thorough cleaning I am ashamed to say in it went. Please don’t think any less of your narrator.

I think this is an appropriate time to take a break from writing in this thing. If you can believe it, everything goes down hill from here.