Day Eighty Two Pt. 2:

Day Eighty Two Pt. 2:

Where were we? Oh right, me walking up the road with AJ next to me while a boat key holder was shoved up inside me. Awesome!

We didn’t make it far before a spotlight from the building lit us up and men in gas masks with guns trained on us began shouting orders. If you ever saw the movie 28 Days Later, it was sort of like that. If you haven’t seen the movie it doesn’t matter since you are probably already dead like everyone else. Drumroll please.

We did as we were told. AJ and I put the guns we had in our waistband on the ground. We decided to bring some handguns because how else would we have made it this far? Our hope was that they would believe that we had been surviving on foot and not go looking to hard for our car which was hidden just off the road.

When we got close to the building, we were instructed to lie down flat on the ground with our hands spread out. We did this and waited for them to handcuff us and secure us to a bench. I tried to tell them there was no need for this, that we were friends, that we meant them no harm.

They told us that we could be scouts for a larger raiding party.

I asked if they had been having problems with that sort of thing to which I received no answer but knew that it meant no. It meant that someone had watched Mad Max one too many times and was being extremely paranoid.

We were stripped naked and thrown into a very serious looking room. Not a prison since it wasn’t a jail but, lets just say that it was fairly inescapable. On the plus side, there was a make shift toilet bucket. On the negative side, I was fairly certain they were going to kill us.

Eventually someone came to talk to us but, not much was accomplished. They wanted to know where our car was, we said there wasn’t one, they called us liars, we called them crazy. And so on and so on. Eventually I asked for a blanket but, I could tell they were getting off on their home brewed version of Guantanamo Bay or however it is spelled so I didn’t hold my breath waiting for one.

I asked how long they were going to keep us there, and they laughed. Something in that laugh let AJ and I know that we were both as good as dead.

Thank God for my body cavity surprise package. Thank God for Aj’s foresight. And while I am at it, Fuck God for making all this bullshit happen in the first place and making me have to stick a fucking boat key holder inside me. Yeah God, you’re not getting off that easy any more.