Monday, January 17, 2011

Day Forty Five:

Day Forty Five:

After spending countless hours reinforcing our car, the house, the ceiling, the garage, the windows, the windows again just in case, the everything... you know what almost killed us?

The old Santa Claus escape route.

AJ and I were in the kitchen eating some sandwiches when all of a sudden there arose such a clatter. No seriously though, it was a lot of noise. For me it was the first time I got to hear one of them screaming or mewling or whatever the fuck you call their insane sound up close and personal.

Hanging upside down with its livid face peering out of my closed fireplace was an ex-hume that had thought it had found a secret ticket for free meals-ville.

This is where you might think we are stupid. Because in the movies, there are all sorts of ways you could use this to your advantage, and work on a cure, and study its patterns, and then the thing escapes and rips out your throat.

So after watching it for a good 15 seconds, I put a bullet through its evil little face and we spent the next few hours disinfecting the fireplace along with boarding it up nice and tight. Sorry Santa, sorry horrible mutant human bastards.

On the plus side we are alive. An oversight like that is all it takes to get one or both of us killed so after this little snafu we went room to room making damn sure everything was still ship shape.

Why am I talking like that? Ship shape? Really? Maybe a little later I can figure out a way to work in some words like yo-ho-ho (Actually that would have worked well with the Santa references) or maybe that I didn't like the cut of their jib whatever that means.

What a day.

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